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"BAD DISK" -- almost sounds like scolding a pet dog, doesn't it? In actuality, training a dog would probably be much easier and faster. WHY? Because many times, it is really the OWNER who needs to be educated.
Thus begins my tale...
BAD DISK
Copyright: April, 2007 – Tom Hyland
Well Gang, it’s been happening now, for nigh onto three weeks, and I am totally exasperated! I’ve been a devoted member of NETFLIX for several years, and never had any problems previously. But now, just about every .#$%^&* movie I get has a PROBLEM!
Sometimes they actually start right away after insertion, and play without any sign or warning that anything is the matter. That is, until you get about three-fourths to four-fifths, or five-sixths of the way into the story --- then, WAM, BAM, THANK-YOU-MA’AM – the screen just FREEZES!
I’m dyin’ to see the end of the movie, really ‘into’ it, and by now, it’s getting late, and the pillows are callin’ me. So I try STOP, START, OPEN, CLOSE, MENU, FWD, REV – NADA! NOTHING HELPS!
The first time it happened, I went online to NETFLIX, reported the problem, asked for a replacement disk, and read the directions. It tells you to clean the disk with a glass cleaner, wipe it dry, going from center to edge – NOT in a circular motion, and this will usually SOLVE the problem! NOPE! DIDN’T WORK!
Other times, with other disks, after insertion, and listening to a bunch of ‘clickety-clacks, clickety-clacks, clickety-clacks’ – the screen announces very ominously and prominently – BAD DISK! So, you now know the routine, glass cleaner, et cetera… and you try it… NO GO!
At some point, after multiple days, weeks, and maybe a dozen or more disks not working properly, it finally dawns on me – could it be my DVD player? Could it have a problem, or need cleaning? AHA! I’ll bet that’s it! So, yesterday I stopped at Radio Shack and bought a disk that cleans the LENS, does sound checks, and a whole bunch of other ‘stuff’ – no less than twenty-one tests, to be exact.
After work, when I got home I was anxious to insert that sucker and get back to NORMAL viewing of movies, without #$%&* interruptions, right? Now, as a side note, bear in mind that this little DVD player only cost forty dollars, and is only about two years old, and I just paid twenty-four dollars for this cleaner disk gizmo – DUH! What’s wrong with THIS picture?
So, after making myself a nice, hot cup of instant coffee, I turned the TV on, then powered up the DVD player, and inserted the SUPER-DUPER, WHIZ-BANG FIXER! It really was quite an impressive display of engineering and graphics wonder, and the entire process took less than five minutes! Upon completion, I swapped this disk with the one with the movie I was dying to finish, and VOILA! It did the ‘clickety-clack’ routine and then promptly displayed the two words – BAD DISK! SPLIT-EXPLETIVE, DIRTY CUSS WORD, BAH-HUMBUG!
So – I swapped the fancy-smancy high-cost technological ‘wonder’ back into the machine. Maybe my ‘head’ or lens, or whatever, was so dirty that it needed more cleaning? Hoping that this assumption might be accurate, I ran just the first part – over and over – THREE TIMES!
Then faster than a speeding bullet, I did the big swap again, and ‘Wonder of Wonders’ – the movie actually started again, exactly where it had stopped, the scene with the beautiful blonde BABE in a yellow bikini (this is in the newest Bond movie release “Casino Royale”) --- then, about thirty minutes later – IT FROZE AGAIN!
Here am I this moment, after stopping, starting, forwarding, reversing – finally saw the end of the movie –THANK GOD! The very next day, on Thursday, I took the cleaner DVD back to the store, got a twenty-four dollar credit, added another sixteen, and purchased a brand spanking new Sylvania DVD player! That night, after work, I hooked it up and actually watched two complete movies, start to finish, without incidence!
Obviously, it was probably my old player all along, and now I have to “EAT CROW” – it seems I owe Netflix an apology! DRAT!
So, as the sun rises slowly in the East, I am now a ‘Happy Camper’ who looks forward to many hours of uninterrupted enjoyment. If you have ever experienced a similar sequence of events with your player displaying the words, “BAD DISK” – I would suggest you avoid all those hours of aggravation and go buy a new DVD player – “GOOD BOY, OUBOU – SIT!”
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Reader Reviews for
"Bad Disk"
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| Reviewed by m j hollingshead |
11/18/2007 |
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| enjoyed the read |
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| Reviewed by S. Tucker |
7/17/2007 |
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| I do so enjoy your sense of humor. It's especially enjoyable when you get highly indignant. Yes, it's sad when good DVD players go bad. We're on our third player and it doesn't work. Thank heaven for the PS2. At any rate, thank you for the smiles. |
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