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Alan Abrams

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Member Since: Sep, 2010

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     Recent stories by Alan Abrams
· Self Portrait [revised] - 10/5/2012
· Is There Something You Want? - 8/5/2012
· What if (stand your ground part 5) - 8/5/2012
· A Dog Named Crackers - 7/31/2012
· Benediction - 4/15/2012
· time ripped away - 4/9/2012
· Limits of Disturbance - 10/20/2010
· Limits of Disturbance - 'nuther segment - 10/20/2010
· yet another disturbance - 10/20/2010
· even greater DISTURBANCE - 10/20/2010
· Limits of Disturbance - opening sequence - 10/20/2010
· limits of disturbance-end of act ii - 10/20/2010
           >> View all 17


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most disturbing...
By Alan Abrams
Monday, October 04, 2010

Rated "R" by the Author.

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another sequence from "Limits of Disturbance." Terry, preparing to go on a date with Lisa, spaces out...

INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - AFTERNOON

Terry, with wet hair, is getting dressed, checking himself in a mirror.  He pulls a battered tweed jacket with leather elbow patches out of his closet and tries it on.

The jacket is a little too large for him, and he fidgets trying to make it hang better.  He starts to take it off, and then puts it back on again.

Then he notices a picture of his father as a skinny young soldier--helmet, flak jacket, no shirt.

he spaces out...

FADE

FLASHBACK  INT. A DINGY PUB - NIGHT

Young Terry and TERRY'S FATHER are seated at a booth.  Terry's Father, a heavy set guy, wears the tweed jacket.

A waitress arrives with their order and sets it on their table.

WAITRESS

Taco salad, cheeseburger plate, well.  Two Bo's.

TERRY'S FATHER

Thanks, babe.

Terry's father administers great long squirts of ketchup and mustard and starts wolfing the cheeseburger.

TERRY'S FATHER

(while chewing)

What's with them Birds?  They can't get out of their own way.

TERRY

I dunno, I haven't been paying attention lately.

Terry's father slugs down about half his mug.

TERRY'S FATHER

Never shoulda left Memorial Stadium.  They had a team back then... Palmer, Murray, Ripkin...

 He dunks a big wad of fries into ketchup and stuffs them in his mouth.  Terry takes a small sip of beer.

TERRY'S FATHER

Oughta bring back Earl Weaver, that's what they oughta do.

TERRY

They already tried that once.

Terry's Father ignores the remark and takes another big drink.

TERRY'S FATHER

'Member those games we use' ta go to?  That guy who would jump up on the dugout roof, and spell out Orioles with his arms... and then you came home and did it for Mom... 'member that?

TERRY

(staring at his plate)

I remember.

Terry picks at his salad.  Terry's father drains his mug.  The waitress comes by.

WAITRESS

How is everything?

TERRY'S FATHER

'Nuther beer, sweetheart.  You, Terry?

Terry grips his nearly full mug, swirls it, and sets it back down.

TERRY'S FATHER

(to the Waitress)

Just one.

The Waitress removes the empty mug and scurries off.

TERRY

(still looking down)

We're going through with it.

TERRY'S FATHER

What?

TERRY

(looking up)

Cortney's going to have the baby.

 TERRY'S FATHER

Terry, I thought that was settled.

TERRY

I know, Dad, but we're going to go through with it.

TERRY'S FATHER

What do you mean, we?  You're not going to do something stupid, are you?

TERRY

Dad, I promised her I would stand by her...

TERRY'S FATHER

God dammit, Terry, you're making a bad decision...

TERRY

Well, it's my decision... our decision.

TERRY'S FATHER

But you still have time, Terry.  Think it over.

TERRY

No!

TERRY'S FATHER

Then let her have the goddam baby.  Stay the fuck out of it.  We'll settle this up, and you can go on to Auburn.

TERRY

No, I can't...

TERRY'S FATHER

Yes you can!  Don't make the same dumb ass mistake I made.

The waitress brings another mug.  Terry's father takes a long drink.

TERRY'S FATHER

Jesus, Terry, when I got back from Nam and met your mother, and let all that GI money go to waste... just for a regular piece of ass...

TERRY

Dad, stop it!

TERRY'S FATHER

Son, think it over.

TERRY

(quietly)

Dad, it's too late.  We got married this morning.

TERRY'S FATHER

You stupid fool.  You stupid goddam fool!

Terry stands abruptly, knocking over his father's beer.

TERRY

Fuck you, old man!  I never want to see you again!

TERRY'S FATHER

Terry, wait, I didn't mean...

TERRY

Just fuck you!  Just fucking drop dead!

Terry turns and stomps away.

TERRY'S FATHER

Terry, wait...

FADE

INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

Terry sets down the photograph.

CUT

 

 


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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 10/17/2010
This certainly grabbed my attention and held it. Very intense! In my humble estimation; very well done. Thank you, Alan. Love and peace,

Regis

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