There were times that I used to feel alone. Time when understanding was beyond reach and when most cavity filled by unknown fear or worries. Based on my interest of the American Native way of life, which I got mostly from books or movie, I start to see, or perhaps to feel the certain dance that was hidden cause I can't hear or see. I find the form of black wolf really help me to feel the dance, not to join yet. The Black wolf was and is still the media to listen even after I now, got several friends that is more than willing to share me them self. The Black wolf seems maturing itself through this compassion sharing.It help me reducing the ability of my logic poisoning my heart, so now ...along with my two years old daughter and my wife,,I can feel the universe dancing upon me with such great light that stop me from worrying anymore.
Big thank you dear Black Wolf
Big thank you to the Native American great Mother earth attachment
Most of all
Big huuggs to all my connecting friends ^___^
Indonesia August the 20, 2010
The Moon manage to open Her queen smile tonight, varrying with the song of Mother heard only by some. Though Wolf is no longer on the saddle, the smell of wet night air, seems always make him miss the past river band riding. No rifle at that time, and no riffle for now, yet he never has doubt his ability to fight.Same thing ten years ago and now, so little He found ...ones that understand that love, even the most unconditional, must be fight for to get and maintain. He already settled in a house with a wife and a daughter, two most precious...unconditional love he had fought to win. The wife might feel His missing toward the riding time, yet could manage too wear Wolf point of view of such singing journey period. The lady still connect it with the unavoidable parting. Perhaps...just perhaps...the daughter will understand this in the future.
He wasn't an outlaw, in the past or now, cause He never take anything that belong to others, but gladly share anything given or taken.. To the Moon he can still smile and sing the heart cry, at the same time feeling fortunate to have two pearls lying asleep next to him.To his Heart river he manage to reduced the hidden pain.
Wolf understand, by asking directly, the wife will let him do the riding again, though for her , maybe, at the first time, it could be a bloody river. Wolf know that many would choose to stay with him, and at the end blaming the river as the bloody one. Wolf know that The River, The Mother and The Ocean will drown the blaming up to its bottom, no matter how many will come. Wish he could have just 1/1000 of such big heart of the Nature.
Many has slept on his lap with their heart, even including his horse sending out the last air from its heart. As if he could see the horse spirit stappling out of its former flesh cage. The running spirit that indeed reduce his pain to leave his forever best friend black horse. So once again,.. wolf did smile.. as he would be running free too.......but if he can...if the option is in his hands....Wolf would wait long enough so his Wife and Daughter are able to see His Spirit running free, such one he saw on his horse, ten years ago. The without logic best friend, that would give anything...
As his silent cry becoming louder a bit, the daughter awaken moaning, snap him from his dreamland to the bed side. To the pure eyes of this little one, he manage to find the spirit once he lost as he quit the river band riding. Carry the child into his arm, Wolf hiddenly enjoy the loving eyes of the wife also. At the time like this, Wolf sense that the Mother Eath is just changing the tune not stop singing. He just never be able quiting his ears off the the song.........He see the Mother on him, on his wife and on his daughter. The beloved ones as much as he loved the Mother Earth.
Since I live in Indonesia where the Merapi eruption happen...I will more time to continue this story bro, sis and love but I will be back as soon as posible .....to be continued