AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  P Lewis, iJeff Mason, iDouglas Skopp, iRoger Vizi, iLindsey Webster, iReverend Dr. Linda De Coff, iSafi aifas32@gmail.com, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Elizabeth Lang

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Stories
· 6 Titles
· 1 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Oct, 2010

Elizabeth Lang, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
On Trains
by Linda LeBlanc

Literary,accessible lyrics and narratives with universal appeal..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Death and Epiphany
By Elizabeth Lang
Sunday, November 28, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by Elizabeth Lang
· Super...Stars
· The Evil Overlord
           >> View all 3


Of death, epiphanies and clean underwear...

Business suit:  You’re dead.

An experiment for me, written in script format.
The setting is a back alley just outside the delivery doors of an Italian  restaurant. It's dark and the first brushes of sunlight are rimming the horizon. A man in a black business suit is talking to a man in faded black jeans and a pale yellow wind breaker, who happens to have a gaping hole in his chest, the result of a bullet to the heart.
Death and Epiphany
 
Track suit (disbelief on his face):  Really? I don’t feel dead.
Business suit:  And how did you think it would feel like?
Track suit:  Well…not like this. I feel normal.
Business suit:  You have a hole in your chest.
Track suit:  Ow! Wait a minute…I take that back.  (Pokes at hole.)  This is weird.
Business suit:  Now do you believe you’re dead?
Track suit:  Either that, or this is a strange dream.
Business suit:  It’s not a dream.
Track suit:  Prove it.
Business suit:  Prove it? What do you mean, ‘prove it’? You have a hole where your heart should be.
Track suit:  How do I know I won’t wake up in a few minutes and find myself passed out in an alley somewhere?
Business suit (curious, staring past him a bit):  Do you often pass out in alleys?
Track suit:  Shouldn’t you know?
Business suit:  I’m not a mind reader.
Track suit:  There! That proves it. This has got to be a dream or you would know.
Business suit:  I don’t follow.
Track suit:  You’re an angel, aren’t you?
Business suit:  Oh. I see the problem. Mistaken identity. I am not an angel, they’re far too busy to do this kind of administrative work.
Track suit:  What?
Business suit:  I’m just here to collect the bodies and direct them to the right place.
Track suit:  Like a traffic cop?
Business suit:  I don’t think they collect bodies, do they?
Track suit:  Work with me. Use a little imagination.
Business suit:  I’m in administration; we aren’t required to have imagination. And besides that’s a terrible analogy.
Track suit:  Everyone’s a critic.
Business suit:  I don’t have time for this. Are you coming with me or not?
Track suit:  You mean I have an option?
Business suit:  Not really. I’m just being polite.
Track suit (sits on crate):  I’m having a really hard time dealing with this. I can’t believe I’m dead.
Business suit (says irritably): I’m not a psychologist or a bartender, I’m just an administrator. (looks impatiently at watch) Look, if I give you evidence, will you come along quietly?
Track suit: It has to be convincing.
Business suit: Look behind you in the alley.
Track suit (turns and sees his dead body lying on the ground with a gaping hole in its chest): Oh my god… (pales) How come I don’t remember this?”
Business suit (taps foot impatiently): That happens sometimes in cases of violent death. Don’t worry, you’ll remember soon enough. Or…maybe you were unconscious when it happened. You did say you have a habit of passing out in alleys.
Track suit: It was just an example!
Business suit: Or maybe you were remembering something. Anyhow, come with me. (takes him by the elbow and propels him forward)
Track suit (looking down at his body): We can’t just leave me here.
Business suit:  I’m sure there are people who take care of these things.
Track suit (looking back at body): I hope I’m wearing clean underwear
Business suit (rolls eyes)
Voices become a murmur as they move off…there’s a bright flash of light and then a fade to black as the scene ends.


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!



Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Top 10 Things to Avoid Doing…Now and Forev
3. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
4. She Told Me To Do It
5. A Man and His Dog
6. Ireland: It's a wee bit of Heaven, and th
7. A Reluctant Father Christmas
8. Celestine, the cat who helped Galileo...
9. Shoes
10. The Elephant

It's Too Late to Leave Early, An Aerospace Fable by William Walling

A satirical spoof of the American aerospace industry...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book av..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.