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Lami S Abayilo

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Member Since: Nov, 2010

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Back From The Brinks
By Lami S Abayilo
Friday, November 26, 2010

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You can have true and lasting success in every area of your life.

I was saved but that was all there was to it, ‘saved and stuck in a rut.’ I was on a fast lane and thought that was the best place to be. I could not imagine what life would be like without the alcohol, spending spree, drugs and all that came with that life style. As far as I was concerned, I had it all. I could play church and still do what I wanted. After all, it was my life, wasn’t it? I did not feel as though I owned anyone an explanation and that much I clearly stated. In spite of my mindset, I was not a happy person. It was a lot of drain living two different lives. No mattered what I did, I could not ignore the emptiness and the void that engulfed my inner being. It appeared as though something was missing and nothing I did could fill that void.

The more I reached out for more money, alcohol and drugs, the emptier I became on the inside. I knew that I was not happy but I kept sinking everyday in despair and hopelessness. I remember this faithful day when nothing seemed to satisfy me. It felt as though there was something missing out my life. I was trying my hands on all sorts to fill that void. With every passing moment, I wanted more out of life. I thought that getting high on something would fix the longing. I began to desperately search for what could give me that instant high I so desired. ‘Ah ha!’ There it was, I thought. The alcohol can fix it.

I reached for the bottle and began drinking on an empty stomach but still did not get the kind of ‘high’ I wanted. Then I resorted to taking an over dose of Mogadon and sleeping pills. Within minutes of taking the pills, I was no longer sure where I was. Gradually, I began to blank out until I slumped on the bed. When I came around, I knew that I had gone overboard and it was by his grace that I came back from the brinks.

I rolled over the bed and reached out for the packet of cigarettes but could not find it. I thought that if I had a smoke, my head would be cleared from the aftermath of the pills and alcohol I had the night before. My head felt as though it was going to split in many bits and pieces. My mouth was stale and had a flat feel to it. I simply felt used up to say the least.

Suddenly I remembered that in my drunken state, I had sworn that I would never touch cigarettes again. I remembered going to the trash can and throwing the packet there. I hated the way I felt but I could not help myself. I tried to get up but I knew I was in big trouble. My head felt as though I was carrying tons of bricks on it. Somehow, I muzzled the strength, got up, dragged myself to the trashcan and brought out the packet of cigarettes from the trashcan. I moved back slowly to the bed and lit the cigarette. My whole body was shaking as though that was what I needed to survive. I inhaled the first drag of the cigarette and before I knew it, my entire system was revolting. I knew then that I was in big trouble. I felt so sick, I regretted that move. Somehow, I managed to put out the cigarette before the tears rolled down my eyes freely. My inner self was propelling me forward but I knew the emptiness I felt in my heart. I had tried to medicate the pain in my heart with everything I could smoke and chew.

Here I was, born again and filled with the Holy Ghost but wallowing in a mess. When my stomach stopped churning, I pulled myself together and went to bathroom to wash my face. The image beholding me in the mirror was simply horrifying. My eyes were swollen and my hair was flying in all direction.

I came out weeping profusely because I knew that there was a better life carved out for me. I hated the way I lived, always needing something to go to bed and something else to wake up. In between the morning and night was another story all together.

‘I cannot continue like this,’ I whispered to myself while crying profusely. This time around, I meant it from the depth of my heart and I felt as though I could really make it if I truly cast myself on the Lord. I knew that in my own ability, I could not get over co- dependent relationship but by the power of the Holy Spirit, I would not only overcome, I could also be all that God created me to become. This was the beginning of a success journey for me.

I pulled myself together and reached out for my bible. Hot beads of tears rolled down my eyes again as I looked at my bible. I could not remember when last I sat down to read from the pages of that precious book. Was it that I did not know any better? No, that was not it. I had gotten so carried away by the cares of world and deceiving myself in-between, I thought that I could eat my cake and have it. I took part in almost all the church activities but I lived a double life.

I decided to take it all to the Lord in prayer. It became obvious that the one thing I needed to do was ‘dwell in the word of God’ and so I began living in the word day in day out. I searched the scriptures and read as much as I could daily. Everyday brought with it new hope and for the future and joy for living. I soaked my spirit with the word, with such tenacity as if all I needed to get to the next level was the word and indeed, it was.

I always asked the Holy Spirit to teach and guide me in my daily living and was glad that he carried me through from one level to another. I cultivated a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus that went beyond ‘Sunday services.’ I took the word and made it mine. I marked my bible as I searched the scriptures. Studying the word became a delight to my soul. I was grateful for the love of the father. One day, it dawned on me that I was no longer smoking, chewing, popping drugs or drinking. My whole life had become engulfed in the word. I had no desire for any other life but ‘life in the word.’ The more I dwelt in the word, the less of me existed.

Life became sweet and worth living. Everyday, I looked forward to a brighter tomorrow. I learnt to trust in and commit my ways to the Lord. I was no longer interested in living my life for myself. The word of God had gained ascendancy in my life and it was all I cared about. Because of the influence of the word, I have seen myself move from one level of glory to another. It became a brighter life all because I dared to stay in the word. This was the birth place of Supreme Secrets of Success... How to Create the Life That You want.

I was saved but that was all there was to it, ‘saved and stuck in a rut.’ I was on a fast lane and thought that was the best place to be. I could not imagine what life would be like without the alcohol, spending spree, drugs and all that came with that life style. As far as I was concerned, I had it all. I could play church and still do what I wanted. After all, it was my life, wasn’t it? I did not feel as though I owned anyone an explanation and that much I clearly stated. In spite of my mindset, I was not a happy person. It was a lot of drain living two different lives. No mattered what I did, I could not ignore the emptiness and the void that engulfed my inner being. It appeared as though something was missing and nothing I did could fill that void. The more I reached out for more money, alcohol and drugs, the emptier I became on the inside. I knew that I was not happy but I kept sinking everyday in despair and hopelessness.

I remember this faithful day when nothing seemed to satisfy me. It felt as though there was something missing out my life. I was trying my hands on all sorts to fill that void. With every passing moment, I wanted more out of life. I thought that getting high on something would fix the longing. I began to desperately search for what could give me that instant high I so desired. ‘Ah ha!’ There it was, I thought. The alcohol can fix it.

I reached for the bottle and began drinking on an empty stomach but still did not get the kind of ‘high’ I wanted. Then I resorted to taking an over doze of mogadon and sleeping pills. Within minutes of taking the pills, I was no longer sure where I was. Gradually, I began to blank out until I slumped on the bed. When I came around, I knew that I had gone overboard and it was by his grace that I came back from the brinks.

I rolled over the bed and reached out for the packet of cigarettes but could not find it. I thought that if I had a smoke, my head would be cleared from the after math of the pills and alcohol I had the night before. My head felt as though it was going to split in many bits and pieces. My mouth was stale and had a flat feel to it. I simply felt used up to say the least.

Suddenly I remembered that in my drunken state, I had sworn that I would never touch cigarettes again. I remembered going to the trash can and throwing the packet there. I hated the way I felt but I could not help myself. I tried to get up but I knew I was in big trouble. My head felt as though I was carrying tons of lead on it. Somehow, I muzzled the strength, got up, dragged myself to the trashcan and brought out the packet of cigarettes from the trashcan. I moved back slowly to the bed and lit the cigarette. My whole body was shaking as though that was what I needed to survive. I inhaled the first drag of the cigarette and before I knew it, my entire system was revolting. I knew then that I was in big trouble. I felt so sick, I regretted that move. Somehow, I managed to put out the cigarette before the tears rolled down my eyes freely. My inner self was propelling me forward but I knew the emptiness I felt in my heart. I had tried to medicate the pain in my heart with everything I could smoke and chew.

Here I was, born again and filled with the Holy Ghost but wallowing in a mess. When my stomach stopped churning, I pulled myself together and went to bathroom to wash my face. The image beholding me in the mirror was simply horrifying. My eyes were swollen and my hair was flying in all direction.

I came out weeping profusely because I knew that there was a better life carved out for me. I hated the way I lived, always needing something to go to bed and something else to wake up. In between the morning and night was another story all together.

‘I cannot continue like this,’ I whispered to myself while crying profusely. This time around, I meant it from the depth of my heart and I felt as though I could really make it if I truly cast myself on the Lord. I knew that in my own ability, I could not get over co- dependent relationship but by the power of the Holy Spirit, I would not only overcome, I could also be all that God created me to become.

I pulled myself together and reached out for my bible. Hot beads of tears rolled down my eyes again as I looked at my bible. I could not remember when last I sat down to read from the pages of that precious book. Was it that I did not know any better? No, that was not it. I had gotten so carried away by the cares of world and deceiving myself in-between, I thought that I could eat my cake and have it. I took part in almost all the church activities but I lived a double life.

I decided to take it all to the Lord in prayer. It became obvious that the one thing I needed to do was ‘dwell in the word of God’ and so I began living in the word day in day out. I searched the scriptures and read as much as I could daily. Everyday brought with it new hope and for the future and joy for living. I soaked my spirit with the word, with such tenacity as if all I needed to get to the next level was the word and indeed, it was.

I always asked the Holy Spirit to teach and guide me in my daily living and was glad that he carried me through from one level to another. I cultivated a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus that went beyond ‘Sunday services.’ I took the word and made it mine. I marked my bible as I searched the scriptures. Studying the word became a delight to my soul. I was grateful for the love of the father. One day, it dawned on me that I was no longer smoking, chewing, popping drugs or drinking. My whole life had become engulfed in the word. I had no desire for any other life but ‘life in the word.’ The more I dwelt in the word, the less of me existed.

Life became sweet and worth living. Everyday, I looked forward to a brighter tomorrow. I learnt too trust in and commit my ways to the Lord. I was no longer interested in living my life for myself. The word of God had gained ascendancy in my life and it was all I cared about. Because of the influence of the word, I have myself move from one level of glory to another. It became a brighter life all because I dared to stay in the word.

This is my SUPREME SECRETS OF SUCCESS story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ggpwLQcag

       Web Site: Living Your Potential

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