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Edward Austin Averill

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· Waiting for Darkness
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By Edward Austin Averill
Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Sometimes leaving is the only option.

  "I'm sorry" he said. "It has to be this way."

She turned away, looking out the window. "I guess. I don't know. Does it?"

He sighs heavily, sitting down and staring at the floor. "I've tried everything else. I've done all I can, I think, that might have worked. I'm getting desperate and I don't know how much longer I can handle the pain."

Her eyes turn to him, a dark and troubled figure. She sees something broken inside him, and tries not to cry.

"Maybe you're right", she says. "Maybe there's no point in trying anything less.. radical. You'd know."

He stands up and walks to the window, gazing out into the night, then glancing up to watch the stars wheel overhead. Seeing something there that troubles him, he turns away.

"I don't want it to be like this" he whispers. "I never asked for this, I never expected this, and I don't want it to happen again."

There is silence between them, for a time.

"I guess I won't see you again, will I?" she says. "I mean, if everything has to go, that's going to include me". She turns away from him. "I'm sure there's a lot of history with me you'd rather forget as well".

A dark cloud passes over his face, then he frowns, and sighs heavily. "A lot has passed between us, more than with anyone else I've known. Yeah, not all of it has been happy, but it's been more good than bad. You've been there for me despite our arguments, that means a lot to me". He looks away from her. "But yeah.. you probably won't se me again."

She sits still a moment, then looks directly at him. "Are you sure? Are you really sure you have to do this? Isn't there some other way, something that'll make you forget? Something that'll stop the pain?"

"I've tried everything" he says. "I've tried changing my life, doing things I'd never thought of doing, meeting people I'd never have wanted to meet before, going places that I'd never have otherwise gone. I've tried being alone, I've tried being with others. I've tried drinking it all away. No, nothing else has helped. I wish. I really do wish something else worked".

"I'll have to leave soon" he says. "You know I hate things that just drag on. If I'm going to do it, I have to do it soon before I talk myself into believing
that there's another way."

She sighs. "I just wish it could be like it was before. It's been five years since you met her, and months since she died. You haven't been the same since that first day, you know. I don't know how, or why, but that's how I feel. I miss the person you used to be".

He rubs his eyes tiredly. "I know. I'm not sure what happened myself, I just.. changed.. somehow. Maybe to try to be more like someone she'd want to be with. Maybe to be what I thought she wanted. It's too late to worry about it now, I think". He looks down. "I don't think I can go back. If I could have, I would have, and I wouldn't be in the position I am now".

He stands up and walks to the door. "It's time, I think. Any longer and I'm going to have second thoughts".

She stands up, tears in her eyes. "Ok. Ok. I understand, I guess. I don't like it, but I understand".

They hug briefly.

He walks to the door, opens it. "Goodbye. I hope things are happier soon".

The door closes, he is gone.

"Goodbye" she whispers.


       Web Site: The Wooly Loach

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