By. J Allen Wilson

August 2008

Many years ago there was a young boy who had a good heart. He loved nature and all creatures great and small. On many occasions he would come to the rescue of animal in distress. He would then try to save as many little creatures as he could from an untimely death. He didn’t feel he was unique in anyway since he thought all people are capable of doing this, it’s just that many choose not to. All in all to sum things up, this little boy had an abundance of love to give and he had a yearned in his heart to share this love with as many that would receive it. This emotion often placed him in vulnerable situations where his kindness and generosity were often taken advantage of by unscrupulous people. Fortunately this was not the case with the animal kingdom for in kindness shown; they reciprocated with kindness of their own. This was one reason this young boy preferred the company of nature as opposed to people. However as time marched forward these emotions began to change just as his body was changing.

As he grew his fancies by nature began to lean towards the opposite sex. He was inwardly shy but still very giving despite having been burnt on numerous occasions.

Over the course of time, many young ladies came into and out of his life. Most were just flash with little substance.  Some were only interested in receiving and not giving. Many were fixated on the vanity of their own looks and were quite cruel in spirit to those they felt were inferior. The years quickly went by and this same young boy grew into a man. He still had a good heart and helped all that he could help, but there was a void in his life. It was an empty place in the heart that could only be filled by a companion for life.

It was this search led him down many obscure and unsavory corridors. In a desire to fit in with the “hip crowd” he found himself lost in a journey of drugs and alcohol. He soon found himself being much like the self centered people he once so despised being around. People who lacked compassion; people who were all for self and no one else, and now he was like them; he no longer loved. One day he felt that he could not take this any longer. He quit his job, moved out of his apartment and began backpacking across the US and Canada in an effort to find himself once again. He wanted the heart back; the kindness; the gentleness that comes with loving unconditionally. 

Weeks of his journey quickly turned into months and the ground upon which he slept grew harder each day. He had seen so much in such a short time and discovered a world filled with awe, yet he was still empty inside. He was still lost and he knew not his way back home.

One August evening after two days of dust and rattlesnakes he stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon just north of Flagstaff Arizona. He gazed almost mesmerized by the vastness of the canyon. He marveled at the many colors that the rocks took on in the evening sun. He was here standing on the edge of the world. He looked out at the great rift and felt smaller than he had ever felt before. His journey thus far had not brought him any closer to finding his heart and he wondered if he ever would. He glanced around to see if anyone was nearby; there was no one around but the earth and the sky. What he thought; what if I was to just step off the edge and into eternity? Would anyone care? Would anyone….

Time permitted this journey will be continued as the young man soon discovers true love and what it means to be a man.