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C.J. Archer

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Member Since: Feb, 2011

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Conversation between a Regency heroine and sci-fi hero
By C.J. Archer
Sunday, February 20, 2011

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Sci-fi guy's time machine lands in the country house garden belonging to a Regency romance novel heroine.

Regency heroine: Oh hello, who are you?

Sci-fi hero: T'Kahn Strider, space traveler.

Regency heroine: Of the Sussex Striders?

Sci-fi hero: From Devorn of the third Galaxy.

RH: Is that near America?

S-FH: Er, no.  Do you live in that large example of Palladianism architecture?

RH: The ancestral pile?  (Sighs).  Yes but not for long.  I'm to be wed to my scheming neighbor who is much too old for me.  I fear he is more interested in my fortune than my person.

S-FH: Do your parents know he's an asshole?

RH: They're the ones who proposed the marriage, even though my fiancé's previous wife died in suspicious circumstances.

S-FH: Want me to kill him with my atom blaster?

RH: Will it do the job?  It's a rather small weapon.

S-FH: Everything is smaller in the future.

RH: Everything?

S-FH: Except TVs.  And the egos of celebrities.

RH: What about...? (glances pointedly at S-FH's shiny pants.)

S-FH: Want to find out?

RH: But I'm a Regency heroine!  I must remain a virgin until my true hero rescues me from my evil fiancé.

S-FH: Is he here yet?

RH: No but Patience is my middle name.  Quite literally. 

S-FH (waggles eyebrows): I'm here now.

RH: Yes but you are not my hero.

S-FH: Why the hell not?

RH: Well, your language for one thing.  And you aren't broody enough, nor are your shoulders broad.  Indeed, they're rather puny.

S-FH: I'm not all puny.  Would you like to see?

RH: Stop!  Please, or I shall be forced to protect my honor by swooning.

S-FH: Er, don't do that.  I don't know how to handle swooning women.  I prefer ones that shoot at me.

RH: That could be arranged.  I did mention my fiancé was evil, didn’t I?

S-FH: Seriously, let me at him with the atom blaster.  Might liven things up around here a bit.

RH: It can be rather dull with nothing but needlework and reading to do. 

S-FH: I could rescue you from boredom.  If I was your hero.  I could also rescue you from your evil fiancé by whisking you away in my time machine.  And I dress well.

RH: I do like your shiny pants.  And an adventure does sound rather thrilling.  Would you show me exotic places if I agreed to accompany you?  I've always wanted to see Scotland.

S-FH: I'll take you anywhere and anywhen you want to go.  But the whole virginal heroine thing could be a problem.  I'm no gentleman and we'll be alone in my time machine.

RH: Piffle to convention.  Courtesan heroines are wildly popular right now anyway. 

S-FH: I know.  Why do you think I chose to come to the Regency?


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Reviewed by Donna Chandler 2/24/2011
I truly enjoyed reading this entertaining conversation. I hope she goes with him in his time machine and has a wonderful adventure.


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