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Denise Edwards

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Chronicles of the Dark Prince part 2
By Denise Edwards
Saturday, April 22, 2006

Rated "R" by the Author.

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The introduction of the Strassarheim Twins.

Jessa's eyes strained and watered as she continued.  She read well into the night, nearly missing her clock in time after lunch.  Slamming the book shut, she hurried from behind the file cabinets and clocked in, picked up her patient log and headed back to the fourth floor children's ward.  Jessa's family and friends worried about her.  They believed she was becoming obsessessed with Vladissmire, a small countryside  village in the northern most  Hemisphere.  Jessa checked on the babies in the nursery.  All were asleep except for one little boy.  His mom died giving birth, and the father was unknown.  Jessa took special care of him, because he was a special baby.  She could pretend that he was hers.  It wouldn't hurt anyone, seeing as he was all lone now.  Jessa loved baby Matthews.  He was as close as she'd ever get to being a real mom.  After her shift, Jessa went to the front lobby to wait for her ride home. 

 Moments later, a tall muscular man with thick wavey black hair, stood in the doorway and looked around.  When he spotted Jessa, his strong, broad face broke out in a fond smile.  Jessa hurried over and hugged her big brother.  Jordan was what every girl wants in a big brother.  He was tall and strong, funny, generous, wise and so very handsome!  Like a living bronze Adonis, he had prominent greek features, with his full, dark red lips, black wavey thick hair and deep blue eyes.  He could have been a world class model, but he, like Jessa, chose the medical field.  Except for the vast difference in their height, Jordan and Jessa were corbon copies.  Jordan was older than Jessa by 45 minutes. 

The twins chose a proffession that would be in high demand no matter where they went, and they travelled alot.  The twins were looking for their older brother who dissappeared when they were kids.  David Strassarheim, was ten years older than the twins.  Their parents died when the twins were 8, and David was 18.  He left them in a foster home and promised to return  after he found a home for them.  Four years later, he did return. 

But something had changed the young man.  He was distant and, strange.  Jessa used to watch him at night, prowling around the grounds in the dense dark, seemingly to search for something, and yet, not wanting to find it.  One night, about 5 years after he came back for them, he left on one of his mysterious trips, and never returned.  Now, the 25 year old twins spent small amounts of time, here and there, seeking any clues that may lead them to their brother's whereabouts. 

It was during one of these searches, when she and Jordan had spent 5 months in a village about 150 miles from Vladissmire, that Jessa started having the dreams.  Dark, frightful dreams.  She became aware of the deaths in Vladissmire, the people who dissappeared from the earth, never to be seen.  Accourding to historical accounts and assumptions by historians, the intire village of about 367,000 people, died over a period of 112 years!  No excessive amounts of terminal deseases, no suicides, no elopements or stilborns.  Just massive amounts of people,  gone!  There were no autopsies, because there were no bodies to examine!  Jessa had at that time, become more than a little interested in the happenings in and around Vladissmire.
What could possibely have killed all those people?  And where was all those bodies?.............................................

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Reviewed by William Bonilla 4/23/2006
you amaze me, with this wonderful piece
The suspence is killing me
I feel I am being tortured
One chapter at a time
But still I want to thank you
for sharing such worthy reading.

Love & Peace
Reviewed by Felix Perry 4/23/2006
Hi Denise, this has the makings of a great book, very interesting with a good hook. However I would make one suggestion, remove the bold, increase the font and break down into more paragraphs. It will be easier for you to edit, easier for us to read and will just improve the appearance greatly. Other then that it is great/


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