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George Warholak

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Nathan's Fishing Excursions
By George Warholak
Friday, August 05, 2011

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About a week later, Nathan came up with a grand scheme for some real propulsion on the boat.

Nathan worked a rotating shift schedule, and he was off a few days during the week quite often. He always dreamed of catching the big one, and so he decided to get himself some used fishing equipment. With practically everyone else at work, he had pretty much free reign at the nearby freshwater lakes and ponds.

   Turtle Pond was his first choice. His wife had purchased a pair of hip boots, which Nathan used for a few weeks. To his chagrin, though, the boots started to leak. He moved his location the next day to the other side of the pond and, with jitterbug at the end of his line, he was catching many large-mouthed bass in the evening and early morning hours.

   Nathan showered after his three p.m. to eleven shift one night and felt some discomfort on his chest. After close inspection, he observed a tick partially embe dded in his skin. He was able to grab hold of it, and he saved the specimen. He was relieved to find out that this tick didn't carry Lyme disease after a visit to the doctor.

   After this incident, Nathan decided that he needed to get some kind of boat. He knew darn well that there were no ticks out on the lake. Besides this, his good friend taught him how to troll with herring using extra-sharp hooks. It just so happened that a Hungarian guy at work gave Nathan this lightweight boat that sat unused in his back yard. This boat was made out of styrofoam, complete with rudder and keel. Nathan was grateful for this free gift, since he himself could not afford a real fishing boat. 

   At five o'clock the next morning, Nathan set out on the maiden voyage after buying a single paddle along with the necessary safety whistle and life preserver. It was a sight to behold. Nathan forgot to attach the rudder, and the small vessel just sort of vacillated as he paddled, getting hardly nowhere on the lake. Finally, a breeze kicked in and caused the craft to actually get somewhere.

   Using worms on his hook this time, Nathan threw out his line and sat there for a bit, taking in the nice scenery about him. A bit later, Nathan leaned over to look down into the lake, and the boat tipped; he fell in. Nathan forgot to bring the keel. Soaked through and through, Nathan was exasperated and slowly made his way back to shore, laboriously of course. Good thing for the paddle.

   About a week later, Nathan came up with a grand scheme for some real propulsion on the boat. He obtained a propeller from the local marina and attached it to his weed-whacker assembly. It fit perfectly. The handle and grip acted as a clamp to mount it to the back of the boat. Well, since there was no reduction gearbox or the like, the propeller wouldn't spin in the water when started. Nathan brought the propeller down to the plant where he worked and grinded down the blades to almost nothin; just a little left so it would not cause such resistance in the water. 

   The day came to try out Nathan's new ingenuity. He got the weed-whacker motor a runnin' and, to his surprise, the styrofoam craft actually started moving. But the two-stroke engine soon shut down due to overheating. After cooling down it started right back up. Soon enough, Nathan looked up and saw a fast-moving boat approaching. It was the lake patrol. Nathan and his boat capsized with the strong wake.

   "You know, I just don't know. You know?" Nathan said at the police station. The police asked him why he had an unregistered boat out on the lake. "I just can't figure it out, you know, just don't know why my invention didn't work right," said Nathan.

   Since the police knew that Nathan was the poorest soul around, the whole police department decided to offer Nathan a nice aluminum boat, electric motor included. Nathan humbly accepted the offer and went fishing the very next day. Nearing the dam at the Upper Monksville reservoir, a powerful wind violently blew the boat and Nathan over the dam. "Darn it, I just don't know about that wind, ya know?" said Nathan. Nathan decided to save his money for a wind surfer. He never fished again.


Copyright (c) 2010 by George Warholak. All rights reserved.




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