I am odd!
How am I odd, you ask? I am odd because I’m one of a nearly extinct species of females, who loves football...any football on TV, that is. I love Saturday games, Sunday games, Monday night “Are you ready for some football?” games, other NFL games, college-bowl games, play-off games, and lastly, I love the ever-celebratory game of games, the Super-Bowl!
Why do I feel this way? Since you asked, it is my considered opinion that God created the game of football, basically, for women. I heard that! I'm not off my rocker, I don't need "meds," nor should I be committed. No rocker, no meds, but, I will accept “committed!” Not in the sense that I should be locked up, but it’s to what I’m committed that will make you football widows want to play on my team!
For years, I was the wife who followed the typical game plan trying to get some attention from my man during football season. I’d get dressed up in OUR favorite team sweatshirt (hot weather, cold weather, it didn’t matter), arrange buffets for the boys, stock the fridge with their favorite libations, entertain the kids so they wouldn’t interfere with the boys viewing the 3rd replay of the 4th down (this time from the cotton-candy vendors view in the stands).
By the end of the first half, I’d be so exhausted I’d try coaxing the kids into taking a nap. Only problem, I’m the one who fell asleep! I’d spend the next two days with my li’l dirt devil, vacuuming leftovers from the couch potatoes, who forgot that TV trays are for something other than their feet. My greatest fantasy was that the game would be called, due to bad weather, but I had to face the truth... football players love bad weather!
All that is in the past, now. I finally got smart. Now, I love the game more than ever. How is this possible, is your question? Well, once the kids were old enough to make plans of their own, I decided they had the right idea!
Don’t get me wrong! I still prepare buffets, sort of! My “best buds” (actually, I have several) are DiGiorno, Dominos, Pizza Hut and any other pizza parlor with 2 for 1 coupons. Drinks included, of course! The pizza sits in the oven on my finest stone slab from my last "..Chef," party, sprinkled with a little fresh parmesan cheese. It really looks homemade. Those time-out commercials taught me, “Nothin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven.”
Now, we girls have our own sports parties, AKA “shop-till-we-drop!” I still wear OUR favorite team sweatshirt to them, ‘cause it keeps me toasty warm when I meet the other wives during game time at our favorite venue. Besides, the sweatshirts disguise our shopping sprees and convince the boys that we’re just coffee-klatching at a neighbor’s.
The kickoff is usually at an icy,
air-conditioned outlet-mall! And,
there are no substitutions for our huddles at those chique coffee houses and
time-outs at the make-up section of our favorite beauty supplier. A purchase
at “Victoria’s Whatever” is usually
our final touchdown. Plus, it
definitely makes that private,
after-party with hubby much more interesting!
Deceitful, maybe! But,remember, it’s all in the game! Whose team do you want to be on now, ladies? Yessss! May the best woMAN win!!! Odds are, we will!