This Isn't Just Sibling Rivalry!
My sister Debbie was always mean to me. She was more than mean, she was a cruel, vile human being with no mercy in her heart. You may think this is just because of normal sister stuff like stealing clothes and not having anything in common but it was so much more than that. This sibling rivalry was developed through kicking and scratching, the beatings I took from her were unbearable, she treated me like her own personal slave, whenever she was around I was very lucky if I even got a chance to sit down for five minutes without her shouting my name. I have so many scars now from the past because of her. I have a burn from when she attacked me with the lamp on the bedside table when I was six. I have a scratch on my arm from our holiday to Magaluf with my parents when I was twelve, I even have a scar from where she dropped a dart on my big toe! She was evil incarnate! If she didn't get her way it ended in a beating and even though she got kicked out of high school and sent to a school in Glasgow away from the family and she punched my mother and literally spat in my father's face, she still seems to be the favourite daughter. I have always behaved myself, I have always tried to stay quiet in school to not start trouble, even when others were starting trouble with me. I always tried my best in school and I stayed in the house to look after the my dogs when my parents left the house. When I got accepted into college for Acting and Performance I expected my parents to be proud of me, I at least expected a hug but do you know what I got instead?
That was all I got. Not even a treat for dinner! four hundred people auditioned for that acting course and only forty people got picked, surely that had to mean something? Any other parent would gaze upon their child with pride and all I got was a measly. "Well Done."
Let's be realistic, the first born is always treasured, the first born will always be a favourite but I thought that if your other children achieved something as big as I did they would at least surprise them with a small treat like a pizza for dinner or some earphones.
I was surprised when Debbie came up to me while I was lying in my bed in the dark. She sat down beside me and told me something I didn't believe.
"Zara, don't tell mum or dad, but I'm pregnant."
She showed me the picture of the pregnancy test for proof but I didn't believe it was her pregnancy test at first.
She made me go to the doctors with her for a pregnancy test there and that's when I finally believed her. She made me go up town to look at stuff for the baby and eventually she told my mum and dad that she was going to have this baby and keep it.
Time went by, I took her to the baby scans, I took her shopping and I tried to put up with Debbie's annoying crap using every bit of kindness for her I had left in me and then she told me that I was going to be the baby's godmother.
In September I helped her pick a name for the baby girl, she was set on the name Malika, it means 'Queen' in Arabic I think... at least that's what she told me it meant. If I thought I was Debbie's slave before, it got ten times worse after she got pregnant. She had me going to the shops for her, I was on my feet constantly, even when she made me go shopping with her I had to carry the shopping basket and get all the stuff she wanted off the shelf and that shopping basket weighed a ton!
It was October on Halloween when I felt like I was going to snap. My friend Claire wanted me to help her take her brother trick or treating and I agreed to help. My sister was not happy with my choice, she wanted me to be trapped at home with her all the time, she said that she shouldn't be left on her own in the house on halloween and then she started getting into more personal details, calling me lazy, that I'll never do anything with my life, that I'll be all alone and nobody likes me and to end it all she threw my mobile phone at my head. I left in tears after that, the temptation to beat her to a pulp was irresistable but I knew I couldn't do it, to hurt someone who hurt me is one thing, but to hurt someone who has a unborn child in her tummy who did nothing wrong to me... I just couldn't endanger that baby's life. That night I made a promise, I promised I would be there for that little baby no matter what, I promised as her godmother and aunt if something happened to that little baby girl I would make sure Debbie was sent far away from her and I would take care of her because I don't want little baby Malika to go through what I went through, all I could think was. "What if Debbie doesn't get her way? What if Malika says no to Debbie one day and she beats her?" I didn't want Malika to live that life.
It was December, a month that changed my life, I was asked out by my boyfriend Nathan, my first ever boyfriend who I fell madly in love with and Debbie was due to give birth any minute. For our college course my class had to perform Sleeping Beauty for a pantomime for a week. My parents came to see the show and although I did have a main part I thought they might be happy for me. Debbie couldn't come of course because she was frightened to leave the house in case she went into labour any minute so my dad kept his phone on all the way through my performance and Debbie phoned in the middle of it and my dad had to leave the theatre to take the call. After the show Nathan wanted me to meet his parents but my mum and dad said they had to leave now for Debbie, luckily Nathan understood and so did his family. On the car ride home I asked them what they thought about the pantomime, hoping to get at least one compliment. Instead they complimented everyone else in my class apart from me. When we got home Debbie was in pain but it was a false alarm and I was furious.
Finally the day came, it was the 24th of December, Christmas Eve at about 8 o'clock at night and my Debbie was rushed to hospital. Malika was born at 11 o'clock the same night, just one hour before Christmas. I wasn't allowed to see her yet my cousins were. It turned 12am and all I wanted was to at least open one present but my mum and dad said no. I spent my Christmas mostly in the hospital and then at a family dinner which I got drunk at and sprained my ankle.
Now to the present time, Malika is almost seven months old, she is the prettiest little baby I've ever seen and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. I promised her many things, I promised I would protect her, that we would be best friends, that she could come to me when she was older if she was sad or if Debbie hurt her. Me and Nathan have looked after her every now and then and since Nathan loves me he started to call himself Uncle Nathan. The christening is soon, I was so excited so just to be sure that I was the godmother I asked Debbie who the godmother was.
Lucy? What the hell?
I asked her. She replied with:
"Our cousin Lucy."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought maybe I was jumping to conclusisions, maybe she said only Lucy's name because she thought I knew I was going to be the other godmother, so I asked her a follow up question.
"Is that the only godmother?"
She told me so calmly, like it didn't even cross her mind what she told me months before Malika was born. I couldn't be any more angry! How could she pick a cousin over her own sister? I done everything for her during the pregnancy! I took her to the doctors, took her to scans, done her shopping, waited on her hand on foot and she has the nerve to make my bimbo cousin Lucy the godmother?! A cousin who never done anything for her while she was pregnant? How could she pick Lucy? Someone who couldn't even look after her own cat let alone a baby! If Lucy became the godmother and something bad happened to Debbie, Malika would be in Lucy's custody! Lucy would dress her up like a idiot in a fur coat, cover her in fake tan, make Malika as fake as possible! How will I be able to look after Malika now? I know I'm still her aunt but if Debbie dies and she gets given to Lucy then I'll barely see her, I hardly see Lucy so how will I ever get the chance to see Malika? How will I be able to keep those promises if I never see her?