AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Nina Anderson, iFrances Seymour, iEileen Granfors, iDenise Richardson, iGloria Gay, iBlak Rayne, iRalph Cates, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Richard J Parise

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Stories
· 5 Titles
· 1 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2012

Richard J Parise, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
All Alone, Washington to Rome, A '60s Memoir
by Patricia Daly-Lipe

Join me in a time and place from the past, my past. Beginning with the death of my mother when I was 18 until I was 23. From Washington to Rome, Paris, and London with a ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
The Road to the Third World; Conspiring to Destroy America
by Stephen Cafaro

If you are bewildered by the capability of 19 men who destroyed the World Trade Buildings in a plan seemingly too simple to succeed, then you will be completely intrigued..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members





Share    Print  Save   Become a Fan


My Husband's On Facebook
By Richard J Parise
Thursday, September 20, 2012

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share this with your friends on FaceBook

Babyboomer couples venture out into the world of social networking

 

My name is Emma Lou Harris. I've been a member of Facebook since it first started. I've accumulated over two hundred friends, all of them women. We've had a grand time posting back and forth over the past few years. Back in the day, they used to call this gossiping. Had kind of a bad connotation. Facebook changed all that. Made it acceptable. We were having a ball. Then it happened. Don't ask me why. Don't ask me how…My husband joined Facebook! What were the chances? I'd say about the same as Moses parting the Red Sea, or Captain Kangaroo being demoted to private. I can still hear Fred now, "Facebook’s stupid." "That's an invasion of privacy!" "Stop wasting your time." And yet here he is, in all his masculine glory. And guess who received his first friend request?...
Well I was going to say, “Over my dead body!" but with my luck I'd walk out the front door and get hit by a bus. That’s all I'd need. Then my widower husband would probably jump onto my Facebook page, check out my two hundred plus friends and start speed dating...
So I friend my husband, Fred. First thing he does is start sending friend requests to a bunch of my friends. Then he goes to “Find Friends” and starts looking for all his old high school buddies. These are the same guys I stole him away from when we got married twenty years ago. Like I want them back in our lives. All they ever did with Fred was bar hop. Most of them are still single and sitting on the same bar stool. Unless I do something quick, people are going to mistake my husband’s Facebook page for Hooters.com…
I found out from a friend of my friend Gloria’s husband that Fred was talked into joining Facebook by Charlie Daniels. No, not the fiddle player. I wish. He’s the former Theresa Pope’s husband. Theresa Pope and I went to grade school together. All the boys used to flash her the sign of the cross every time she walked by. Thought they were being funny. Problem was, little Theresa was no saint. She’d respond by either flashing them the bird or shooting them a half moon that would make a hillbilly blush…
Getting back to her husband Charlie, he sent me a friend request about two months ago. Now I hadn’t heard from Theresa since grade school and didn’t make the connection. Seems Charlie found me on his “People You May Know” list and randomly clicked on my name. When I saw that a Charlie Daniels wanted to be my friend, all I could think of was that someone from my past was somehow connected to this famous fiddler. And now he wanted to friend none other than yours truly. Talk about let downs. Did you ever go to a corn roast in the pouring rain or turn on the final episode of Cheers and have your cable go out?…
I really don’t know what to post now that my husband’s one of the girls. I can just imagine the comments he’ll come up with. It’s like my life is all a twitter. Hey, maybe that’s the answer. Let’s see, I move over to Twitter, take all my friends with me and tweet, tweet, tweet like a happy little Robin. Fred will never find me. That poor man wouldn’t know the difference between a tweet and a twerp… or, should one of my Facebook friends just happen to be an alien, you could do me a big favor and go to Roswell.com, click on your planet, go to free stuff, and click on alien abduction kit. I’ll pay the postage…
On second thought, I think I’ll just out last him. He seldom finishes anything he starts. He’ll probably drop Facebook inside of a month. Like the deck he was going to build to replace the steps on the front of the house. Five years ago he wrote down all the measurements, went to Home Depot, bought all the wood, piled it up in the garage and to this very day, I’m still stepping down on cement…
 


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Regis Auffray 9/24/2012
Thank you for sharing the humor, Richard. I taught for fifteen years in middle school and eighteen in senior high school before taking early retirement. My sense of humor and "acting" definitely are the reason why I enjoyed my teaching career. I did not retire early because of the students but rather because of the administration and bureaucary and the b.s. up top. Thanks again. Welcome to AD. Love and peace,

Regis




Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road by Diana Estill

Fifty-five hilarious tales that'll make you want to keep your partner, claim your kin, and hug your dog...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


It's Too Late to Leave Early, An Aerospace Fable by William Walling

A satirical spoof of the American aerospace industry...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.