For those of you who do not read A Composer’s Journal, I am including the June 20th entry from that Journal here:
Friday, June 20
This is the first day I have been able to sit at the computer since Thursday, May 29, the night Dave the physicist arrived from Detroit. M. was away for the week, at a conference in California. JB & Dave arrived around 8 p.m. and they immediately took me to the hospital; I had emergency abdominal surgery soon after dawn; had complications and another, more serious surgery a week later. Came home this past Wednesday & am doing my best to recover from both surgeries. The recording of Images has been put off until this coming Thursday. I spend most of my time in bed, & half unconscious from the painkillers I must take every few hours. The gardens are beautiful, heavenly really - but also running away from neglect. I can do nothing, & it will still take many weeks for me to recover ...
After weeks spent in a small, colorless hospital room and corridors - the woods and flowers and gardens are almost startling in their intensity & depth & range of shades & hues .... Not just their vibrancy, but also the extent of focus, the sharpness of focus - a degree of focus that adds yet another dimension ...
I am too tired to go on today, will try to return tomorrow.
Sunday, July 13
In the high nineties yesterday; today mid-seventies, rain - sheets of rain fogging the windows, pounding the upstairs skylights. Earlier, looking out an upstairs window, the overgrown crab apple tree in the back garden covered with small, red fruit; a modest grey bird half-buried in some upper leaves. The aide came for an hour, a new one, wiry and energetic; Laurel stopped by. A call from Carolyn yesterday: Elisabeth was in surgery, appendicitis. I sent healing and angels and tried to allay Carolyn’s fears. Today Elisabeth on the phone, cheerful, home in bed watching tv. And so we both are recovering from the same surgery, Louise’s grandchild and I ... Elisabeth will not develop complications and require further surgery, I already clairvoyantly asked; and Elisabeth did not have infection, it was a simple operation.
I have felt Louise’s presence so very strongly in these past weeks. Jude called this afternoon: she and Bob will stay with me again for some days at the end of the week; M. will go to Windgarth those days and nights. Louise’s sister, Jude. JF called. Tomorrow Chris and Sarah will come and make me dinner, spend some hours with me. M. will be home late, a meeting after work.
Began painting again.
Monday, July 14
A message from my friend Marguerite at Authorsden: "So nice to hear from you again my dear. Yes, Christ brings something good out of suffering. However, no one should ask for it; for it will come anyway. The whole world is in need of healing."
A true message, and a wise one. Yes, the entire world is in need of Healing. After reading Marguerite’s e-mail, my Heart immediately formed a prayer:
Come, Holy Spirit, renew the face of the Earth. Pour Your Divine Light over this poor planet called Earth. Change the hearts of man so that Your Light shines through us all, so that we all become as transparent as glass. Surround us and fill our small hearts with Your Divine Light and Love, so that we may be perfect vehicles for your Love. Protect and guide us always. Eternal Father, send Your Holy Spirit, the Third Person of the Trinity, among us, to Heal the Earth and all its myriad beings. Blessed Mother, send legions of Your most Holy Angels to Earth, to fight and defeat the evil that both surrounds us and rests within our own hearts. Amen
And then I mentally imaged the Divine Light surrounding this globe called Earth, descending, blanketing the entire Earth, infusing Earth and all the sentient beings of Earth with Its self-luminous, Divine Light.
Tuesday, July 15
Looked down on the lilies and roses and other perennials from the front upstairs bedroom window - a small white butterfly fluttered past the pink and purple flowers in the front garden and examined the top of the forsythia just below me. A few bees, a yellow jacket or two hovering above the flowers, dashing off along the sidewalk; so much constant activity in the gardens. I do miss being among them. If only my little friends the yellow jackets were not such a life threatening danger to me. It seems so sad that so many years of comradeship and peaceful interaction between us should have to end. I miss the gardens and the sun. On cool evenings I can walk and work in the gardens - but it is not the same. I still long for the bustle of the gardens during the day, in the sunlight; the insects doing their work, the people that stroll through the gardens. In a way it is a heartbreak, and I have not yet recovered. And as with any heartbreak, I must both mourn - and also be deeply grateful for all the years I was given the wonderful Gift of working in the gardens whenever I wished, the air and sun and wind and clouds, the beauty of the outdoors, the beaches and the sea, the lakes, the streams, the fields and woods I so often walked through or sat in, all the uncountable hours I spent in that beauty and personal joy ...
L. came by and just before leaving asked me about sending angels: how to send them, where to send them and for what purposes. I often say that I will send her angels, when she is going through a rough patch. I told her to just ask that angels be sent to a person - the angels will know what to do when they get there. And they will go. Once I sent a woman who requested healing an angel, and she wrote back that the angel had appeared to her, and even told her his name. It was a name I had never heard of, not a name we use on earth ...
Friday, July 18
Very hot today, in the high nineties. I will not be able to take my after dinner walk to the corner tonight.
Have been calling Elisabeth and Carolyn every day since Elisabeth’s surgery. Jude and Bob arrived yesterday and will be here until Sunday. They bring so much Light with them ... Their daughter is dancing in a recital at the Ithaca Ballet school this afternoon - unfortunately I cannot go, I am still mainly flat on my back. Although getting stronger each day.
On the phone, speaking with a friend about her difficult relationship. She spent almost a half hour describing the problems and her possible solutions. I told her that she should be on her knees before the problems she is facing, the ups and downs. How else are we to find the Higher Love and Compassion? Without these various tests, how are we to train ourselves to stand in the soul and always first look to the Divine?
She said : "I want our love to be perfect, romantic ...." I said that no person can ever meet all our needs, we are all flawed and struggling - and because of this we are forced to find the soul and look towards God. I told her that if she wants to find the greatest Love, the Love that is the vast ocean compared to puddle, she must thank everyone in her life for the problems they pose and/or bring with them ... And I reminded her that she already knew this, and has stood in the soul, has stood in the Higher Love. Then I added that the true task is to stand in the Higher Love and Compassion in an abiding way, i.e. always.
My friend was silent for a moment and then said: "I think I need to mull this over ..." And we said good bye. I told her that I would send her, and the situation, many angels.
My friend Annie will be here soon for an afternoon visit; we have much to talk about. Soon she will be returning to France, possibly for many years. I will miss her, she has been a good friend. Even though we can visit each other in other ways and the soul is always in communication - there is something irreplaceable about meeting consciously, in the body. On the other hand, there is also something irreplaceable about meeting consciously in clairvoyant meetings, or while in dream state. If I had to choose - I would probably choose meeting in another realm, a higher realm. However, those meetings are not always under our conscious control, in fact they rarely are. But when we do meet there: all is Light, radiant Light ... And now I am thinking of Louise, when she visits me from her realm ...
Thursday, July 24
Chris came by today, to visit and to help me with some chores. He had e-mailed me a few days ago, about his Mum: she was in the hospital, in England, with a broken arm. Today he mentioned that for the first time he had felt a flow of Grace for his Mum as he was typing his e-mail request. Chris said it began after he had only typed in a few words, and ordinarily this was not so.
Many people have written that they felt the Grace emanating from their computer after I wrote them back, after I had already sent Healing and angels. But no one has mentioned this flow of Grace before I wrote them back. Perhaps my recent trials, the two surgeries, have deepened the Healing I am allowed to send others. That would make me very happy, and also lend a bit more meaning to the suffering.
After I "died" in my car accident, now almost twenty years ago - for the first time healing was automatically sent when people phoned their healing requests in on the telephone. Later, I would hear the request on my answering machine, and a few messages later a message thanking me for the miracle. And I had never gotten the first message, at least not consciously.
And now it seems a similar thing is happening with e-mail requests.
God is Good. And we humans could never even hope to understand the breadth and depth and scope of that Divine Goodness. It is far beyond human imagination.
For those of you who are new to A Mystic’s Journal: my method of Healing and sending angels to others is very simple. I merely ask and then say ‘thank you’. And in that request is my own personal depth of compassion for the being or beings who are suffering. And in the simple "thank you" is the deepest Gratitude and faith that I can muster.