Become a Fan
By Edwin Larson
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Not rated by the Author.
A parody of what I heard on the radio today.
I've been listening to WUSS FM public radio
since I first arrived in
Los Angeles two years ago.
As an attorney for the ACLU,
I don't have much time
to listen to any other station or opinion nor would I care to.
My work taking down the crosses that adorn the many hilltops marking the pathway of early explorers
and Spanish Missionaries,
kicking the Boy Scouts off of their deeded land,
and protecting the
rights of Islamo-faciasts
takes up most of my time.
However busy my schedule is,
I always find the time to listen to WUSS FM.
Why just the other day,
after picking up a nicely-chilled bottle of Chardonnay,
Brie, Beluga caviar,
and Persian crackers
at the wine shop,
I hopped into my Hummer,
turned on the radio
and WUSS cast me into a trance-like state.
It was music to my ears...
Open Borders, Higher Taxes
and Al Gore winning out
the Nobel Peace prize
over the woman who had risked
life and limb to save all those children from the Nazi death camps during World War Two.
Yes, it was truly one of those driveway moments.
You know the kind.
Sitting with the engine on and listening...
Unable to move.
Frozen in euphoria.
I knew that my sushi was getting warm inside the house,
but I just couldn't pry my loving ears away.
To hell with my Maguro Sashimi, I thought.
I didn't even care if the Ponzu sauce had began to separate and settle.
No, I was just so in to WUSS.
I'm a real WUSS fan.
I love WUSS and WUSS doesn't just talk to me,
it actually defines me,
except of course for programs like
"Prairie Home Companion".
Even that show has its followers.
It's just too bad that most of them don't vie for socialist reform like the rest of us.
Oh well, it's not
a perfect world
but through litigation that will all change soon.
My husband and I support WUSS and so can you.
Call in you pledge today.
WUSS needs your firm support to maintain a rigid programming schedule
that keeps folks like me engrossed and entertained.
You'll be happy in the end...I know I am.
Rod Letcher Esq.
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