I hear the noises in the night and the screams echo through corridors and echo off the walls, and the voices get trapped in my head like so many buzzing insects. This ancient building and its walls talk to me in a way that only the insane can understand and make no mistake about it I am insane, we all are in this place. We either were insane when we were dragged in here kicking and screaming or rolled in here as comatose zombies or we went insane from coming in here and being made to conform to the insanity around us. There are also the ghosts of souls locked away in here so long that even there deaths didn’t release them from the rusted steel bars of the windows and doors that hold us. The current name of the facility is the Mount Hope Restorative Centre but to the inmates, or as they call us…patients, we just call it the Asylum.
The small door built at eye level into the heavier steel clad door, slides open and the male nurse’s aide/guard shines his light into the cell and into my face. I want to shield my eyes from the glare but the restraints around my wrists to restrict my movement. His laugh, if you could call it that is more like a whispered cackle because he too is insane he just doesn’t know it. I hear the rattle of the old skeleton key as he tries them in the locked door that holds me in and him out but he controls the keys…for now. He carries a tray, one half contains little plastic cups of water the other the dubious medications that are pumped into us morning and night.
“Here you go Tracy, this will help you sleep.” He says after undoing one of my wrists and helping me semi sit in order to drnk the water he holds out to me. I take the meds from the cup and put them in my mouth. I don’t speak. Speaking leads to things being twisted, words being stolen and more meds, so silently I take the pills drink the water and lay back down complacently as he re-secures my straps a little tighter then necessary.
“Sleep tight my little friend, perhaps I’ll come back to visit you later as Mr. Sandman, would you like that little one?” he said rubbing his crutch and running his big oafish palm down my leg, pushing my nightie up as he went.
“Yes, tonight just might be your lucky night little girl” he smiled…a smile of missing and blackened teeth and even from four feet away I cold smell his breath as rotten as the stench of sulphur or the rotting smell of maggoty garbage left in the sun.
His hand finally and reluctantly end their travel and he squeezes the tender spot between my legs. As the door closes I use the same trick that’s been used in a hundred movie plots, I’d hid the pill under my tongue and out onto my pillow, but only with really stupid nurses will it work anymore. Tonight I must be ready for this man as I’d been ready for my stepfather the last night he came to my bed.
I‘ve gotten to know this nurse's aide well, too well…he has never done much more then touch me before this yet I know my turn is here. I know this just as sure as I know the stories of the others he’s raped and brutalized since I’ve been here. The Ogre as I've come to call him, knows I have now become a women. Now after having my first period he believes it will be safe to have his way with me. I’ve watched him watch me, I saw him accidentally entering the shower room when I was being bathed by the female aides. I know his modus operandus (I think that’s how it’s spelled, haven’t had much education over the past four years). I learned that from staring mindlessly at LA Law and other television police shows. His was to make sure to have his way with only victims who are having their periods…cover up any evidence of the sacrificial virgin before the day nurses come on to release us from our beds for breakfast. He has waited patiently and watched and ogled as my breasts budded and my body matured but my mind atrophied. He saw and made a mental note last month of when it happened and he now knows I am ready.
I know all the aide/guards now and my insane mind has memorized vast amounts of Asylum data. They think I am in a moronic state but I have fooled them all. I know their schedules and their work habits. I know the staff, which ones are meticulous about rules, which ones are lazy, which ones take short cuts like leaving the pills out instead of locking them each time they are issued. I know about my fellow patients. I know those who are here, like me, molested or on a regular basis by my step-father who was a pillar of the community. Kids who would not submit to being molested by our relatives and turned violent or sucicidal but not knowing what else to do with us they had to pigeon holed us unstable and sent us here. I know the patients of depression, driven to despair and their tears of sadness cost them their freedom. I know the patients who were soldiers and victims of war who lost their minds in seeing the brutality of killing. I know the criminally insane who are kept separated from us at night by the locked doors dividing the wings but in the cafeteria only separated from us by their guards.
I know his plan but he does not know mine. I cannot help all the patients in here but I can stop this monster from continuing his crusade of evil on women, children and yes even young boys. The Ogre's vileness knows no limit but I’m insane so I can and will put an end to it tonight. My plan had to provide absolute proof of what he was doing and that would mean being caught in the act. It cold be the death of me for this 250 Ogre could snap not just my neck but my whole 90 pound body like a matchstick. Yet I did not fear him, insanity has its advantages and four years of the Asylum sanity had taken away the meaning of fear from my life forever the closest thing to fear I could muster would be the worry of spending the rest of my life in this vile place. I look up to the window at the night sky and I become in my mind the entity of the creature I need to be tonight to do the task my Mind-master has asked.
What is a Mind-master you ask? I’m not quite sure, perhaps to some it’s their soul…the part that says you are morally justified to do what must be done. So tonight I will be the wolf as the Mind-master has suggested and as my mind begins to shft-change. I know I will soon become the wolf in mind and body. Tonight the wolf will feed. The industrial clock that’s hung on the old grey painted wall outside my cell strikes the seconds and seem to increase their volume and tempo as the night rushes on in a crawl. Every hour on the hour the little door within the big door to my room slides open and evil eyes of my tormenter stare in and shine with the eerie eyes that a cat can only show in the dark. I cannot see the rest of him but I know he is drooling with anticipation his hand stroking his crutch in desire that only a perverted twisted mind could crave. When he’d left me after delivering the pills he’d also left my one blanket down around my knees. The industrial style nightie I wore was bunched round my waist as if I had tossed and turned in my sleep to revel my plain white hospital issue underwear.
I twisted a little to allow him just a little better view because the wolf’s plan called for the prey to be distracted and the plan was soon going to happen. I counted the number of times the door slid open and I knew on the fifth visit it was time, I heard the key rattle briefly in the door. This would be the time the other custodian would be on break and the ogre had the ward to himself…it was my time the ogre thought. The door opened and as he quietly closed it behind himself I saw in the dim light how invunerable he believed he was. He laid the master keys on the small night table and began unbuckling his pants before he’d even checked to see if I was awake. He saw a fourteen year old skinny waif of a girl drugged with medications not the wolf hiding in her persona. Lifting the nightie above her head and pulling her underwear down to her ankles he straddled her on the bed.
The wolf in the little girl’s body allowed his transgressions knowing the vile one must be in a state of complete arousal for the Mind-master's plan to work. Now, cried the Mind-master and the wolf’s low growl came out in the voice of a seductive Lolita into the ear of the Ogre guard.
“Undo my straps lover and my lips and tongue will give you pleasure like you have never known before and will never feel again.”
Her words had the desired affect and without thinking the Ogre undid the straps that contained the wolf in the little girl's body. The aide positioned himself to take full advantage of the promises made by the little girl’s offer. It was then the wolf struck, it was time for him to feed….
The scream echoed along the hallways and through the corridors. When help finally came it took two nurses from another floor and the oncall duty doctor to subdue the little girl and get her to open her clenched teeth and free the guard. The little girl who returned immediately to her catatonic state but with a strange accomplished smile on her bloodied face. The ogre/aide's severed penis could not be repaired and the charges that followed would leave him behind bars for years to come. The brain-master had sent the wolf as he had four years earlier to make her step-father the prey instead of the hunter. Too bad the nurse’s aide hadn’t read her medical history.