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Uncut Goodies Part 2
By Aberjhani
Friday, November 16, 2007

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Live from the editorial board room conference for the novel Christmas When Music Almost Killed the World (ISBN 0966235673) (Original cover art by Luther E. Vann)

“Today we all lined up together.  Black People! White People! Chinese People! Mexican People!  All us here together tryin’ to get out’a Froggtown and escape what can’t be escaped. Can’t nobody run from Gawd just like can’t nobody run from time cause that’s what’s catchin’ up with us here today.  Y’all hear what I just said just now!?”


“Yes sir!”




“What the fuck you talkin’ bout old man? You spittin’ out some old back-in-the-day bullshit?”


“What ‘the fuck’ is I’m talkin’ ’bout indeed you little ill-mannered piece of snot!  What I’m talking ’bout is the fact that today, here and now, we got all the tribes of Froggtown on Champion Boulevard tryin’ their best to get out’a this city. Some been tryin’ for a real long time and soon the Great Worker is gonna help them leave too. But a century and a half ago, this same boulevard was just a dirt road that the union soldiers came chargin’ in on their horses to deliver the slaves unto freedom and to destroy Froggtown just like the Lord smited Sodom and Gomorrah!  Only way back then, Froggtown wasn’t called Froggtown.”


“It was called Bubbaville, wasn’t it?”


“Hell no, this place ain’t never been called no Bubbaville! You hear that shit? Bubbaville!”


“That’s exactly what it was called.  At first, the white folks wanted to name it New Oglethorpe after the white fella who claimed the territory for England and made it into the state of Georgia.  But white folks in Bubbaville wouldn’t go for that cause Oglethorpe in the beginning didn’t allow no slavery.  In fact––now y’all listen to this––in fact, the people of Bubbaville used to live in Savannah but they wanted slavery befo’ the slavery was made legal so they established they own settlement outside Savannah!  Now you know somethin’ bout the quality of the character of white families that done been here for a while.  Because the citizens of Bubbaville had been so devious in that particular respect, it was said that the Union soldiers had a special hatred for them.  It was said, they was gonna put a burnin’ on this town and a beatin’ on every slave-holdin’ ass in sight, they wasn’t gonna kill’em right away cause they wanted the folks over in Savannah to hear the screamin’ so they could get ready for their ass-whuppin’ too!  That was a mighty mighty time in Gawd’s world and I’m tellin’ y’all the history books don’t say the half about what all happened. Do you know! What them shameless denizens of Bubbaville done when they hear the soldiers was just twenty miles outside the town?  Maybe in fact some’a y’all do know! But I bet you can’t bear to tell it. And maybe that’s why we’s on this road a century and a half later on this day right here––to find out how much truth we done learned to bear and to find out how much truth we still tryin’ to hide from.”


“Hey, Danny dawg man, I was calling you dude. You alright? Hey, you checkin‘ out this old man?”


Before Danny Blue could recognize the red dredlocks or pale green eyes of Mason Zeller, his co-worker had shook him gently by the shoulder and placed a DVD camcorder in front of his face. A grin of seemingly unbearable pleasure stretched his mouth as he looked in the focus viewer.


“This is great, all these scared ass people and this old man rappin’ folk history knowledge!” His focus remained on the camera as he turned toward the old man while simultaneously speaking to Danny Blue. “Man what chu doin’ out here walkin’ bro, hurricane George comin’ up here like a dungeon master with a whip and chains, gon make Froggtown scream like a horror movie extra, know what I’m saying D-Boy?”


Mason’s hand remained on Danny Blue’s shoulder while his attention remained on the old man. He got a quick shot of a policeman moving through the crowd.


“Maybe they did something like this back in ancient Rome,” the old man continued,” but I ain’t never heard about it.  Maybe they might’a done it in Timbuktu, who am I to say?  All I know for sure is that they did it in old Bubbaville without no kind‘a shame at all.  When they heard the Union soldiers was on their way, the men of Bubbaville went and got the women of Bubbaville.  Black and white both.  And they lined up the white womens on one side of Champion Boulevard and the black womens on the other side of Champion Boulevard.  They made the womens turn their bee-hinds to the road and bend over with they dresses up and their bee-hinds showin’.  So that way, when the soldiers come into the town they’d be more interested in fornicatin’ than fightin’. So there those womens was: a row of pink and white bottoms on one side of the street and a row of black and brown bottoms on the other side. Now most’a those women was good people, bendin’ over with tears on their faces and cryin’ their hearts out.  But the whores among them just kept fussin’ bout who was gon pay them. Glory be to Gawd, where the shame at?! Well this is what happened––”


“Sir!” yelled out Mason, “You mind if I ask what book you got all this information out’a?”


“Book!? Book!? Boy my name is Rubin Tyler Mitchell III and I’m eighty-eight years old.  You wanna know what book I learned the truth out’a? I learned it out’a the book of my daddy, Rubin Tyler Mitchell Jr., who was ninety-eight when he died.  And I learned out’a the book of my granddaddy, Rubin Tyler Mitchell the first, who was a hundred and two when he died. And I learned it out’a the book of my own eighty-eight years livin’ and breathin’ right to this moment. What I’m tellin’ you right now, is what they called the first story of the first time the frogs come and saved the town that used to be Bubbaville and that in time would become Froggtown. Sure enough, the Union soldiers was comin this way and the men of Bubbaville was usin’ their women’s virtue to try to save their town when something happened that nobody counted on.”


“What? All the soldiers turned out to be gay?”


“Gay?  Oh you mean chaps of the enchanted brotherhood. Well I’m sure some of ’em was bein’ soldiers an all but that ain’t what happened.  What happened was the frogs came croakin’ out’a the swamp and the road on the outskirts of Bubbaville turned as green and yellow as the heaving sea.  One might think, ‘so what?!  They just frogs.’  Much more than hundreds.  Multitudes of ’em.  And not the kind you find in just any old pond on any old day.  Every single one’a dem frogs had double yellow stripes on their backs and it was death by poison just to touch one.  So poisonous they was that Indian warriors used to rub their arrowheads on the frog’s backs if they wanted to make sure an enemy was gonna stay down once they shot him.  Touching one frog accidentally might make a man real sick for a time and leave him lame or blind.  It don’t take much to figure what happened when those frogs covered up the road and the Union soldier horses slipped and the soldiers fell wallowing in that river of living poison.  Before they could realize what was happening, half of ‘em was on the ground paralyzed with their mouths open and their swollen tongues stickin’ out like thumbs.  They was dead before they knew they was bout to die.”



PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR UNCUT GOODIES Part 2, notes from the editorial conference on Christmas When Music Almost Killed the World


By Aberjhani

© November 2007



       Web Site: Black Skylark Z-Ped Music Player

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Reviewed by Charlie 11/20/2007
THis is good stuff--find myself right in the throng, listening...
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 11/20/2007
okay interesting and the plot thickens....
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/18/2007
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 11/17/2007
Powerful offering Aberjhani!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 11/16/2007

Saving these nuggets...powerfully penned, no holds barred excellence!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 11/16/2007
#2 saved . . .
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/16/2007
Excellent, hard hitting write, Aberjhani; well penned! BRAVO!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :)

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