Become a Fan
By Becky Crist
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
The words for when you cannot find the words.
There is a place that lies between need and want. A balance in the spectrum of emotion where the waters run still. In our journey together, we have traveled many paths, made choices at countless crossroads and even lost our way before regaining our direction. But because we love - our progress, no matter the speed, has always been steady and now we too find ourselves beside the placid waters.
How strange and yet wonderful to have confidence in our future. To let doubt wash away and to stand with no sway or indecision. To know that where we find ourselves today is only the first stone in the foundation we build together and a castle yet to come.
But to say there is no want would be childish. For I have wanted you in the indigo night so desperately the whole of my being cried out in dispair.
And to say there is no need would be to live a lie of the highest degree. For my darling - I will need you until my final breath has been relieved of me upon this earth.
But because we love - these petulant and narcissistic emotions are tempered with the knowledge that our place in this world is real - is good - and is for all time.
So although I battle, as I know you do as well my dear, with the demon that names itself loneliness - I do not fear defeat. For it cannot win - because we love.
So what can I give you as my pledge for tomorrow? You, with the temperment of an angel and a heart as big as all creation? What can I possibly offer you as a token of forever?
I cannot give my vow - for alas, another has already spoken in that regard.
I would offer you the moon and stars, but graced with god-like abilities I am not, and so they must remain stalwart in the night sky to be picked by the poet's word and plucked by the musician's string.
I have no trinket nor bauble that I can offer. My pockets are thin and even so, there would be nothing on this earth that could exemplify my love for you. No diamond could shine as brightly as the smile you put upon my face.
So I can only offer this - what God has seen fit to bestow upon me. My heart. My soul. My life.
For indeed, my heart and soul were lost to me the first moment I laid eyes upon you. And without you - there is no life.
So take these that I offer. For they are unlike anything else on this earth and a true r gift you shall not find. I have no fear of their dismissal or worry of their being - for I know that you will mind them well.
You who coarse through me every second of every day. You who I breathe in each time my lungs want for air. You who have lifted me up and cradled me close.
You who are my everything.
You are a part of me.
As I am a part of you.
And I believe in tomorrow.
Because we laugh.
Because we share.
Because we love.
With all my heart,
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