A lady commented in her blog ... "I have been sitting back and watching
women that I know that are good women continuously get
hurt by man over and over again. Why is that? I think
I will remain the woman I am and just treat men like
trash. I will not cater to them nor will I chase them.
If they do not call me than I will not call them. I
will give them a cent of my money but spend there
money like it is water. I will waste my emotions on
them because they do not deserve it. I see this is the
type of woman that men chase. The worst you treat them
the more they want you."

So I responded:
I wish I could say something new and definitive on all of this, but at this point we may all wonder what the heck is going on, we've all seen everybody, men, and women doing all the things
that causes pain for everyone involved. It has come to be known in some circles as playing a game, ("running' a game",and we've all heard the tag line " don't hate the playa', hate the game") But here's the thing, ... all
of the people, playing the game and being played by the game, may have one thing in common. And that is ...they/we/you and me, we're pretty much lost and weak. There would be no need to hurt or manipulate, or to say what you don't mean, no need for anyone to lie, cheat,destroy a brother or sister,(even if we try to rationalize it all by saying someone has done the same to you.) if we were all strong enough, and men and women enough to do the right
thing and the pain we all feel wouldn't exist as prevalent as it is today.
Just because a woman or a man can be used don't mean we have to be the ones using them. What do we become, when we allow others to make us stoop to their
level and do what they do, and to hurt others as they have hurt us? How does hurting someone else, ease our pain? I have learned to accept that when someone, let's me know they don't respect me, or care for me, by lying or disrespecting me, or simply walking away, they are doing us all a favor, as one door closes another opens. As I read your comment I suspect you want to be
loved and treated right, you/we are not alone in that
need. There are people in our circle of friends, or maybe people our friends know, that are the the kind of people you might want to meet.Maybe we have other acquaintances, or friends and relatives, that feel or understand what we feel. We need to find,relate and associate with those people, who are like minded, stop being the silent majority and stand up, grow up, get some backbone and do what we know is right.One man posted in response to your comments that, he has a daughter and now knowing how he has treated women, he didn't want the same for his daughter and that fact changed him, I understand what he's saying but why is that we have
lost our sense of empathy.Why is it that we want our daughters and people we care for to be treated with respect, but fail to understand everyone is someone's daughter or son? Why can't we see that we all face the same struggle, we need to treat others as we wish to be treated. If I raise my son to do so, he would be worthy of that man's daughter and it would be a comfort that he was such a man and be a blessing to
us all. That fact did not just become a fact when this man's eye's was open it has always been so, even when
he couldn't and didn't realize it, so we all need to walk in the other man's shoes. BTW it won't be easy,
but it will be right. Also as men we have to take care of our good women and women you have to support your good men. Still remember "we are at WAR against powers and principalities in high places." Ladies and gentlemen, war is not nice, but it is a fact.Also, so
many factors are to be considered when it comes to relationships, and making it work, such as the personality of a woman. As a man I cannot understand a woman, I know I never will, but the most mystifying aspects to some women's nature is the ladies that like "bad boys", I know that's not for me to understand, and ladies it's your choice, but the bottom line is, if you want a bad boy, and you get him, you also get everything that comes along with him, so you can't say you want excitement on one hand (or whatever it is you wanted him for) and then be surprised when, you inherit the wind, I think a good man can be exciting, ( ladies see how little I know? To propose this as a solution, when in actuality, you're not interested in any aspect of a "nice guy" duh... anyway let me continue...) just tell him what you want and need, and stand back, I have heard it said and as Dad told me "if you're big enough to ask for it you outta' be big enough to get it". I think communication is key, ladies try to learn to talk to your man, we want to hear from the woman inside, please also learn to listen to us, and be patient some guys don't know how to express themselves too well. Primarily men and woman need to try to listen. One last thing, people please know your man or woman for who they are. We should have insight to who we're dealing with, respect those limits and the person you know they are, if you put a nice suit and perfume on a pig you still just have a pig, so if a pig is what you want, go for it, realizing that we all have potential, and our partners in some cases are willing to do all they can to change to please us, but respect the person and the effort , in some cases we may have to make a decision to go or stay with what we have.
I remember when the older folks used to say be careful when you invite someone in your life, and remember where you found that person,that we chose to bring home and try to build a life with, if you find them in the club, don't be surprised if they return to what and who they were, just when you need them most, or after a period of time, (when the all new wears off, I think my grandmother would say)and while you're at home waiting for them, they're back in their natural habitate doing what they were doing when you found them. To be honest it may be that for all or some of us all of
this is bigger than what a man and a woman can comprehend, if that is the case, it may be that we need a God, to lead us, to guide us, to take us through
what we cannot know or understand. At one time it was not uncommon that men and women would be involved with
the church, (and I don't mean church in the vein of a "holy social club" But a word alive, prayer warrior, spirit lead, body of Christ.) Now (speaking personally) I never attend anymore, I know better, and I may offer up excuses, but to be honest I can only rationalize, why I don't attend church,but honestly there is no excuse for not serving God, especially when I know the
truth is, the basic building blocks of all, or most of, what I know that is great and good about my life, all life, and America and it's people was founded on a bedrock belief in God.
While I know America's not perfect, and the cost of what we have and have access to in America, was paid in blood, and sacrifice ( in wars, civil rights marches, social movements,)
I think those who have paid the price, would think it was worth the gain and that we should do more with the
opportunity that gain offers us, and that obligation (we owe to ourselves and those who paved the way, is
due on a social/political level as well as a personal one, (how we relate to each other).Excuse me I know I
ramble and the ideas are disjointed, forgive me, take
care. If you care to respond, email me