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Jennifer L Mihalovich

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Letter to Jerry
By Jennifer L Mihalovich
Friday, March 31, 2006

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A letter that I needed to write.

Dear Jerry,

   You know it's over a year since you died and I'm still thinking of you. I can't help but remember you all the time. I see Christopher and he looks so much like you. Sometimes I almost forget and then I get too scared to let go. I'm afraid because sometimes I can't quite remember the way your face looked. I can only picture what you looked like lying in that casket. You just looked so devestated and not peaceful. I'm afraid of forgetting your face so I try to cling on to the memory of you as hard as I can. Some days are better than others. I don't think you realize what a mess I am without you in my life. It's hard to realize how much I took your for granted. I always thought you were going to be around and now every time I think about calling you I remember that I can't. Sometimes I want to write you a letter and then I think about how there's no way to get it to you. I wish Heaven had mail. I wish I could turn back time and least get to say goodbye. I wish things hadn't ended so badly for you. I miss you so much and I try not to talk about you too much anymore. Everybody was starting to get annoyed so now I keep all of my memories of you to myself. Christopher is almost two and he looks more and more like you every day. He's stubborn just like you were and he never wants my help with anything. He's so polite though and I wish you could hear him talk. You would be so proud of your little boy. He's going to turn into a fine young man. I don't know what I'm going to tell him when he asks about you yet. Every day I think of something new and it never sounds quite right. You were always so good with words. I hate that you're gone and there's nothing I can do about it. It's just so irritating because I want to talk to you. I want to be able to hear your voice once last time. Oh what I wouldn't give to hear your voice one last time. I know that we weren't together anymore when you died, but I loved you. I really did love you even though you might have thought that I didn't. I will always love you and even though I'm married now you will always have your own special place in my heart. I wish I could tell you all of this in person, but alas I am reduced to typing you some meaningless letter that you'll never get. I wish I could see you and look into your eyes again. It would make things so much easier. Sometimes I have this weird feeling that your watching me, but who knows. I had a dream the other night that you were alive and wanted to see Christopher. How I wish with all of my heart that my dream had been real. I should probably be going now becuase I'm crying and I need to stop. I love you. I miss you. Love always and forever, Jennifer

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Reviewed by Jackie Brooks 4/1/2006
Though he has gone from this earth, he lives on in your heart, no memorial could say more. Don't fret about the people who get annoyed when you talk about him, they just can't understand and probably feel awkward or embarrassed, not knowing how to respond. If you have no one to talk to, writing about your feelings, in prose or poetry, is the best way, and later, when your little boy has grown up, maybe he would like to get to know his daddy through your words. God Bless. <> <
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/1/2006
Good morning, Jennifer,

A poignant, heartfelt expression of grief; very well expressed and written. I'm sorry for your loss.

((((((HUGS)))))) and love, Karla (Karen's twin sis)
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 4/1/2006
((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))) and prayers

beautiful, heartfelt letter; God bless you as you remember your Jerry!

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