Maybe you can help me, but to be honest I donít think that there is anyone who can really help me. Today, this morning I looked in the mirror.
I brushed my teeth and my hair, made sure that my top was free of stains and then went to flick the light off, ever mindful of wasting electricity (Thanks Mom!) when I noticed something off about my face.
Something odd. Not another pimple! I thought, leaning closer to the mirror prodding and pulling. No, it wasnít a pimple. I looked at everything, maybe my ponytail was too high? No. Maybe my earrings didnít match? No. Crows feet? Laugh lines? No.
Then as I leaned away and took one more allover look I smiled. Well the girl in the mirror smiled!
I donít know what I did, except for nearly piss my pants. I stared at her for a second, at me. I stared at myself for a second. I donít even know if I blinked, I was so transfixed. I put my hand up to my face and touched the side of my mouth. Sure enough, my mouth was closed! No smile!
Momentarily dizzy I put my hand on the sink for support. Was I drunk? Amnesia? What the hell is going on I kept thinking.
Finally it came to me.
I am dying! I thought, I have a brain tumor. This is how I am going to meet my end. A shriveled corpse in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of every orifice I own. I must have glanced away because when I looked back the smile was gone, as if it had never been there.
Just regular old me. Blinking and looking a bit green around the edges. I shook my head and decided that maybe I was just a little under tired and over stressed. Arenít we all? So I turned off the light, well I stepped out the door and then turned off the light.
Superstition was bred into me, no way was I looking into that mirror in the dark. Deciding to make the best of an already odd day I made my way to the door and grabbed for my coat. It wasnít there. I know that I hung it there. I know I did! I ate dinner at La Chapelle last night, alone. I had chicken salad, with bottled water. I walked home, unlocked the door and hung my green Burberry coat on the hook right next to the door.
Where the hell was it? My roommate sure as hell didnít take it! Being a full foot taller, 80 pounds heavier and male, he had absolutely no need for a bright green coat. So where had it gone?
I found it hanging in my closet. Which is crazy because I know that I didn't put it that. But we have been over that already. See the crazy thing is, the reason I put it on the hook was because I spilled salad on it. I was going to take it to the cleaner this morning on the way to work.
Can you guess already what I found when I took it out of the closet?
The damn stain was gone. I donít know what is happening but it isnít funny and I am more than a little angry. More than a little scared to be honest. Why would someone do this to me?
I went to work, it was a blur. Nothing important happened, I didnít do much. I found it hard to concentrate and ended up leaving early but I didnít want to go home to my crazy bathroom mirror and my coat, my new coat at that - which has developed a mind of itís own!
So finally after taking in a horrible late afternoon movie and eating a really horrible egg salad sandwich that I got out of a deli vending machine I finally wandered home.
Once again I came home to darkness. Thad has been out for ages, not even bothering to leave a message or note saying when he might be back. I hope he is going to pay his half of the bills this month! But that is the least of my worries right now.
I layed on the couch until my back ached and my head buzzed from the TV. Throwing myself into bed, rationalizing that I didnít have to take a shower. No one would notice anyway I dropped off into sleep before I even managed to turn the light off.
Sometime during the night I wandered in to the bathroom to pee. I was already seated and mid stream before I realized where I was and my head shot up inadvertently. Thank God, from that angle you canít see directly into the mirror.
As I stood up I had no choice but to face myself in the mirror, my only other choice was to switch off the light and dart out the door. Not gonna happen so there I was, face to face.
I stood there and stared at myself, again sensing the oddities but not being able to see them. I blinked and she blinked, I turned this way and that and so did she. Finally I smiled - nothing happened. She just stared straight back at me and a knot formed in my throat. Turns burned down my cheeks.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I cried but she didn't answer. She was crying too.
"Why are you doing this to me?" She said back, a heartbeat later, "Why did you move my coat?"
"You moved my coat! Leave me alone!" I shouted at the odd girl in the mirror.
"Youíre the one in my mirror! You leave me alone. Youíre driving me crazy." She said and I saw that she was just as tired as I was.
"What? How..how can that be?" I gasped when what she had said registered.
Then someone appeared behind her. It was Thad! He put his hand on her shoulder and said to her,
"Come on Terry everyone is waiting. Dinnerís getting cold."
She smiled at him and so did I.
"Iíll be right there. Sorry to keep you guys waiting. I think my period is coming on."
"Another headache?" He asked his bright eyes alight. He had on the cologne I bought him.
"Yes," we said and he turned away. Then once again she smiled at me, and I smiled back. Then she turned to go but then turned back and said, "Iím sorry."
She turned off the light and closed the door. I stayed in the mirror where I had been all along.