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Ronald W. Hull

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Excuse Me
By Ronald W. Hull
Sunday, October 28, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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One of fifteen stories in my book of short stories, It's in the Water and Other Stories, a POD paperback

I heard this story a long time ago. It bears repeating this time of year.

Long ago my twin brother Roger and I set pins at a Catholic Church bowling alley. We had to work Halloween, but different shifts. It was a league night, and I was scheduled for 7-9 p.m. Roger was scheduled 9-11 p.m. It was a typical Halloween night. The moon was full. The air was cold and clammy from a front that come through and dropped some rain and then an icy chill wind that made me pull my jacket collar up. My new rabbit fur lined gloves sure came in handy until I reached for the door to the basement bowling alley and felt it squish under my hand. Someone, probably my friends, had poured honey all over the handle, making a mess of my new right glove No harm done, but I wondered what else was in store. My shift went smoothly and I was eager to get home and serve some treats to the kids before Roger joined me for a late-night outing with some of our friends. I could see my devilish buddies were at work when we went to leave the bowling alley and found the door chained shut. Fortunately, the manager produced some bolt cutters and we were able to leave without having to go out through the church. If anything, it had gotten colder. As I walked through the dark streets the trees cast long shadows and leaves rustled in swirls around the base of the trees. My path took me through the cemetery, a route we always took home to save time. There were no trick-or-treaters in the cemetery, but it didn't bother me because it was just my normal shortcut home. This night was different. The moon seemed extra large hanging amid the skeletons of large trees barren of leaves. Clouds were scudding across its face creating movement in the shadows the trees cast. I guess I concentrated on the moon too much because I found myself falling, headfirst, into a newly dug grave that lay directly on the path I always took. Fortunately, I didn't hurt myself. Unfortunately, my new gloves sunk deep in the mud, there was mud on my glasses, my elbows, and knees, and the cold wetness of it had penetrated my blue jeans at my knees. The grave was deep, probably more than the usual 6 feet. I couldn't reach the top to pull myself out, and the wet muddy walls wouldn't let me get a grip to climb out. After trying everything I could for a half hour or so, I finally gave up and decided that I would have to spend the night in that grave. I had worked up a sweat trying to get out and was now feeling quite cold, so I curled up in a corner to try to get out of the wind and keep warm. I tried to sleep, but it was hard because I was cold and the wind kept howling. Two hours after I fell in the grave, Roger plummeted in right in front of me. I heard him say, "Damn it", in disgust and immediately try to scramble out of the grave. I watched him for a minute as he struggled in vain, and decided that I would help him out by telling him that there was no way that he could climb out of there and would have to spend the night with me until someone came along that could get us out. I rose from my resting place in the corner and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me." I said. Roger, as if by some miracle, took one mighty leap and was out of the grave before I could say, "Roger." I hollered but he didn't hear me in the wind. The gravediggers came back at 6 a.m. and got me out. When I asked Roger why he and our friends didn't come looking for me, he said that he was never going to come back to or cut through the cemetery again. Copyright 2007 © Ronald W. Hull 10/28/07  

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Reviewed by J Howard 10/24/2011
it did deserve repeating this time of the year. how gee what would the descriptive be? how spooky???
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 10/20/2011

Excellent story. Makes a fantastic story for this time of the year too! Can't imagine being stuck in a grave..yuk!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 10/15/2011
Great story, Ron! Coincidentally, I am reading this as Halloween is approaching quickly. Thank you. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Cynthia Buhain-Baello 12/25/2008
Hello Ronald,

Gravely funny!!! Nicely written too, GSOH!!!

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 12/29/2007
Haaa haaaa haaaaaaaaaa!! I am laughing so loud the neighbour are probably getting worried now. LMAO! Ooh God!! Haaa haaaa! You have such a sense of humour, Ron!

God bless,


Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 10/28/2007
Haha! Great story, Ron . . . Gotta love it again . . .
Reviewed by Michael Guy 10/28/2007
pretty good Halloween story; I never cut through cemetaries, but I'm sure if I did, anybody there would be more horrified of me than anything!
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 10/28/2007
Cemetaries are eerie places only because they are a garden for the dead. You ended up being the intruder and the dead sure had their laugh at your expense.


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Ronald W. Hull

Hanging by a Thread

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The Kaleidoscope Effect

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Verge of Apocalypse Tales

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It's in the Water and Other Stories

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