Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking, and one blonde says to the other,
'Which do you think is farther away.... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says,
'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that ?'
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you !'
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible !' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her
ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space !'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon !'
The Blonde said, 'So what ? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up !' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied,
'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night !'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and
someone calls your name, can you hear it ?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off ?'
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and
one was named Timex. Her friend said,
'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'!