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Leeuna Foster

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Member Since: Jun, 2006

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Will You Be My Groundhog
By Leeuna Foster
Monday, June 26, 2006

Rated "G" by the Author.

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What's that? I have the wrong holiday? Oh...sorry, I'm little confused. It's all that presidential campaigning that's been going on. It's enough to cause brain damage.

In commemoration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, America celebrates Groundhogs Day each year on the second day of February. During this festive season, the air is filled with romance. Sweethearts exchange gifts of chocolates, flowers and romantic cards shaped like hearts... Huh? What's that? I have the wrong holiday? Oh...sorry, I'm  little confused. It's all that presidential campaigning that's been going on. It's enough to cause brain damage.

Anyway, where was I...oh yes Groundhogs Day. This is the day when the groundhog pokes his head out of his burrow. If he sees his shadow, he pops back inside for a few more winks of sleep, and if that happens there will be six more weeks of February. But if he doesn't see his shadow, and he gets dressed and heads off to work in his little groundhog suit with his little briefcase, then February will end around the 28th or 29th, depending on whether or not it is leap year. The sky will blue up and the sun will shine, spring training will begin and the sale of anabolic steroids will immediately skyrocket. Okay, I made that last part up.

Something that puzzles me though is how does the groundhog know when to wake up? How does he wake up each year on February 2nd? Doesn't he ever wake up early like maybe in January? Has he ever overslept, say until April? Does he set his little groundhog alarm clock, or does he get a wake-up call from the front desk of the groundhog motel. What happens if he rolls over and hits the snooze button? Will Spring never come if that happens? That's a scary thought.

And while we're on the subject of Leap Year...actually we weren't on that subject but we should have been...  2008 is a leap year. A leap year is a year with one extra day inserted into February. The leap year is 366 days with 29 days in February as opposed to the normal 28 days. (I don't know why the calender police decided to stick the extra day onto the end of February. Why didn't they stick it onto the month of May. I like May. The thirty-twoth of May sounds like it would be a good day for a wedding, or an election.)

Anyway, the reason we have an extra day in a leap year is because our calenders were printed that way. It happens because of all those hours we've collected from daylight savings time. (they save all these hours until they have a whole day, then they stick the extra day into the following year and that's why they call it "Leap Year".)  Okay, I made that up too.

So, if someone is born on Feb 29, does this mean they only have a birthday every Leap Year?  If that is the case then all these extra days from all the leap years, when counted up, might equal a whole extra year. Therefore, in all possibility we could wake up on our birthday one day and be two years older instead of one year. What a Bummer!

Now I'm depressed. This has totally ruined my Groundhogs Day. I'm so upset I probably won't even enjoy the flowers, nor the card and candy Hubby will bring me on Feb 2nd.

What's even worse, this discovery is just one more thing to give me nightmares. I woke up screaming last night...I dreamed there was a politician under my bed

© Leeuna Foster, 2008.

       Web Site: Leeuna's Humor Blog

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