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I was theer when Noar built th' Ark
By Casey Sean Harmon
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
Just a silly short story that really makes no sense but is interesting, nonetheless.
I was theer when Noar built th' ark. Yes sir, I was there! Seed it from th' very beginnin'. Theer he was, a-standin' there like Alexander th' Great, lookin' over the land, a-wonderin' what was a-gonna' happen to everyone. Didn't expect that I was a-gonna' have to swim for my life, no sir, or I woulda' listened to old Noar. Well when it happened, it was too late for everyone.
There I was, a-sittin' there in my lawn chair, readin' the local gazette, thinkin' Noar a fool for spending all those many years a-buildin' on a floatin' zoo, when I noticed, out the corner of one of my eyes, a dark cloud a-creepin' over where I was sittin'. (I had never seed a cloud before, and by George, I done thought I had lost it!) I jumped out of my chair and started runnin' for cover. But you won't believe what happened next. No sir, you won't believe it, so I won't tell ya'.
Huh? Oh, all right, if you insistst. I'll tell ya', if you promise not to git scared. Okay?
The ground started t' shake. I heard a rumble that was so loud, people on Pluto could have heerd it. Water and steam started a-shootin' out of the ground like gysers, towering above me like Babel. Well I was scared, there ain't no denying that. I altered my course and started right toward Noar's Ark, yelling the whole while, "Noar, Noar, do--don't leave wihout me!"
Well by the time I reached the boat, I was too late. They had already shut the doors. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed all around; water was rising out of nowhere. I lost my balance, went stumblin' to m' knees.
By the time I stood back up, the water had a-risen three feet. A few second later, three more feet! In no time at 'tal my body was under water. But I'm a good swimmer, see. I keept my head 'bove the water for a long time 'fore I got sense enough to climb up on top th' rudder on Noar's massive Ark.
By thunder, there I sat until it was all over. Two year, I think it were. And---
What? You don't know what you're a-talkin' about.
So there I rested, for---
I wish you'd stop interruptin' me. Noar did so have a rudder on his Ark!
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Casey Sean Harmon