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The original SpaceMonkey Adventure by MonkeyJohn
Theree is a world in outer space,
where monkeys are the master race.
Ubetcha is their planet’s name
and ice cream eating is their game.
Five monks went out by rocket ship.
This is a story of their trip.
The planet: Ubetcha
The spaceship: The Black Banana
Chimp - Captain
Chump - Chief Scientist
Champ - Monkey-Marine
Chomp - Ship’s Cook
Gypsy Rose - Ship’s Pilot
The Ice Cream Mystery – A Space-Monkeys Adventure
by Monkey John ©2004
“We just got a radio call from Space Command, Captain,” said Gypsy Rose, pilot of the rocket ship, Black Banana. Space Command, on the planet Ubetcha, was the headquarters of the Space- Monkeys.
“What do they say?” asked Captain Chimp, commander of the Black Banana, which was exploring outer space. A handsome chimpanzee, with soft brown eyes, his large, round, pink ears stuck straight out from the sides of his head. He wore the four-banana sticker of a Space-Monkey captain on his chest, and a purple and green stocking cap because he hoped Gypsy Rose would think it was cute.
“All of Ubetcha’s ice cream has been stolen by a beam from space. Strange rockets were seen flying away, toward the Rocky Road Galaxy. Space Command wants us to find out who took the ice cream.”
Chimp looked at his pilot. Gypsy Rose was a pretty chimp, with curly hair, dozens of rings in her ears, and a fake tattoo of a blue whale on her right cheek, except this blue whale was orange. “Set course for the Rocky Road Galaxy,” ordered Captain Chimp. Then he turned on the microphone for the ship’s speakers and said: “Chief Scientist Chump, report to Black Banana control.”
Chump soon came onto the bridge, grumbling. He was an old, pot-bellied baboon, with graying chin-whiskers and watery eyes. A pair of thick glasses rested on his head, between his ears. “I lost my glasses again,” he complained.
“Third time this week,” said Gypsy Rose, hiding a smile.
“Chump,” said Chimp. “We are going after some ice-cream crooks from the Rocky Road Galaxy. What do you know about that part of space?”
“Absolutely nothing,” said Chump, scratching his head. “Oh, here are my glasses! Now, who put them there?”
Captain Chimp wrinkled his nose, which he thought made him look like a boss. “Chief scientist Chump,” he ordered, “get space suits ready. When we find the planet of the ice cream thieves, you’ll go after them with Major Champ.”
Major Champ was a Monkey-Marine, assigned to protect the Black Banana from space pirates, even though no one had ever seen any space pirates. He was a strong, good-looking ape, with a smile full of teeth. Gypsy Rose seemed to think him nice, although Captain Chimp couldn’t understand what she saw in the big gorilla.
Gypsy Rose stepped hard on the gas pedal and soon the Black Banana reached the Rocky Road Galaxy. Scientist Chump looked out the window and said, “I don’t see anything.”
“You’ve lost your glasses again,” said Chomp, the Black Banana’s cook. He was a fat, golden orangutan with arms and legs so long he looked like a spider. He had shaved his round, basketball-shaped stomach and drawn a happy-face around his belly button.
“Oh, so I have,” said Chump. He looked through a spyglass and saw a trail of rocket smoke leading toward a large, white planet circling a small sun.
“Why is it so white?” asked Gypsy Rose.
“It looks like snow,” said Major Champ. “It must be a frozen planet.”
“Go to warp seven, Gypsy Rose,” said Captain Chimp.
“What does that mean, Captain?” asked Gypsy Rose.
“I heard it on a TV show once,” said Chimp. “I have no idea what it means, so just circle around the planet and we’ll send down the ladder.”
“Don’t you mean ‘send down the lander’, Captain?” asked Major Champ.
“Whatever. You and Scientist Chump go down and look for the ice cream. Take Chomp along. He can smell ice cream a mile away, since he’s eaten so much of it.”
Soon Champ, Chump and Chomp were on the planet. They wore space suits with bubble helmets.
“I’m glad these suits have heaters,” said Major Champ. “The thermometer on my Monkey-Marine Gadget Belt says it’s a gazillion degrees below zero here.”
“And they forgot to heat the rear end of my suit,” said Chomp. “I’m freezing my tail off.”
Just then a group of little, round-nosed people with pointed ears appeared, walking toward the Space-Monkeys.
“Welcome to the planet, Sh,” their leader, who wore a red stocking cap, said.
“What sort of creatures are you?” Scientist Chump asked.
“Why, we are elves from the planet Sh,” the little guy said. “We’re called Shelves.”
“We are the Space-Monkeys,” said Captain Champ.
“Oh, yes, you’re from the planet with the wonderful, brick-hard ice cream. We’ve never, ever been there, you know. Why, we haven’t even heard of that planet, I don’t believe.”
“We have little time for small talk, tiny Shelf!” cried Chump. “We want to search your town for stolen ice cream.”
“Follow me, then,” said the head shelf. He turned and led the Space-Monkeys off.
The town was in a mountain valley. It was so cold there that even the nearby waterfall was frozen, ice cubes tinkling down. The streets were made of ice and families of smiling Shelves skated along.
Champ, Chump and Chomp could hardly believe it when they saw the Shelf buildings. They were tremendous castles, built with large bricks showing every color of the rainbow. One castle was pure white, another dark brown, and one was green with brown flecks. They saw one castle that was pink, white and brown mixed together and another one colored light brown with something that looked like nuts mixed right in the bricks.
“Search our castles,” the Shelf in the red cap cried. “You’ll find no ice cream here!”
The three Space-Monkeys looked through all the buildings and even looked under the frozen waterfall, but found nothing.
“Do you smell ice cream anywhere, Chomp?” asked Major Champ.
“I can’t smell anything,” Chomp answered. “It’s so cold that my nose is running.”
“Well, don’t let it get away,” said Chief Scientist Chump.
“Ha – ha.” Chomp pretended to laugh.
So, with no luck at all, they flew back to the Black Banana.
“Did you find the stolen ice cream?” asked Captain Chimp, as soon as the three Space-Monkeys got inside the Black Banana.
“No,” Major Champ said. “We looked all through their town and searched their buildings, but found nothing.”
“They sure had some pretty castles, though,” said Chomp. “Every color you can think of.”
“Did you have a favorite?” Gypsy Rose asked.
“You betcha,” said Chief Scientist Chump. “I think the Mint-Chocolate-Chip castle was best.
Published in “Beyond Centauri” – July 04
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