AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
Happy 4th of July!
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Barbara Henry, iLinda LeBlanc, iBonnie Milani, iD.E.Z. Butler, iKarl Morgan, iGlen Schulz, iWilliam Wright, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Christy Keyes

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Stories
· 7 Titles
· 7 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Feb, 2007

Christy Keyes, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Living Alone
by Peter Mulraney

Information for men who find themselves on their own...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Verbal Volley
By Christy Keyes
Thursday, May 10, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by Christy Keyes
· The Fire
· The Roommate
· Pond Hockey today and yesteryear
· The Traveler
· The Valentine Gift
· Looking Out the Window
           >> View all 7


Mom and son challenges through the years

LEMON

“Can I have some orange?”

“It isn’t orange, honey, its lemon.”

“I like lemon.”

“Oh, do you? That’s unusual for a fella of three. Lemon will make you pucker, like this.”

“I want some.”

“Okay, but I don’t think you’ll like it. Well?”

“Mmmm.”

“Would you like another slice?”

“No.”

“No, thank you.”

“No, thanks.”

“Close enough my stubborn one.”

Points    Mom 15        Tom Love


 

SKULL ONE

“Look what Matt and me found.”

“Matt and I.”

“Yeah, Matt and I.”

“It’s a Yak’s head.”

“Where did you find it?”

“Out in that field behind Matt’s house.”

“Well honey, I think it’s probably a cow’s skull. There are lots of dairy farms around here.”

“But what if a guy wanted a Yak sandwich?”

“He’d be out of luck; there are no Yak farms around here.”

“But if he was really, rich, he could’ve flown a Yak over here so he could have one, right? Then when he was finished with it, the bones could’ve been thrown into the field.”

“Possible, but pretty unlikely, Tom.”

“But it’s possible.”

“Yes it is.”

Points   15     All


 

Elementary School

“Good report card, Tom, grade seven and a seventy-eight average.”

“Yeah.”

“Eighty is the honour roll.”

“I know.”

“If you put in just the smallest effort you could be on the honour roll.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you want to be on the honour roll?”

“No.”

“So you’re satisfied?”

“Yup.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Okay, I guess if you’re happy, I can live with that.”

Points   Tom 30        Mom 15


 
University

“Well, Dr. Tom how’s my favorite vet student?”

“Fine, well, except for this one idiot prof I have.”

“What course and why is he an idiot?”

“Organic chemistry. He only ever cites from the textbook and writes it on the board. Ya don’t really learn anything from him.”

You don’t learn, not ya.”

“Anyway, I quit going to his class.”

“But don’t all vets have to take the same courses?”

“Yeah, I mean yes, I study from the text.”

“What about your exams?”

“I got ninety-one on my first test.”

“Works for me.”

Points   Tom 45        Mom 15


 

Skull Two

“Guess what I got Claire and Doug?”

“Someone brought another homeless puppy into your clinic, and you thought they could give it a good home.”

“Nope. Remember they wanted deer antlers for the cottage?”

“That would be no, not nope.’

“Right. Well, this client of mine in Airdrie has lots of them, and he had a buffalo skull!”

“That’s great Tom, but do you suppose it might be a little more than they were looking for?” 

“No, they’ll really like it. It even has a hole where the bullet went in.”

“I’m sure they’ll be surprised.”

Points    Tom 45        Mom 30


 

Game to tom

 

Epilogue

Lemon
            Tom’s favourite dessert is lemon pie.

Skull1

After vacation the yak skull returned to Toronto with us. It was a cow’s hip.

   

Elementary School

            Tom was never on the honour roll in elementary school. His marks were so good at university that he was accepted into Western College of Veterinary Medicine, University of Saskatchewan with two years of university but no degree. He was nineteen.

 

University class

 Tom continued to skip his class. His final mark was seventy-seven.
 

Skull 2


 Claire and Doug opened their gift and discovered a large amount of mouse droppings in the box. There were even more in the skull’s bullet hole. This was definitely more than they had requested. The buffalo skull is hanging on an exterior wall at the cottage, on Bob’s Lake. It is quite a conversation piece.
 

       Web Site: Canadian Short Stories

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/11/2007
Excellent write, Christy; very well done!
Reviewed by Susan Bain 5/10/2007
I love this story, Christy. Any mom can relate, I'm sure, but your format makes it even more effective. You've made me realize that I should mine my own trove of parenting memories.
Sue

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. A Reluctant Father Christmas
3. Please Don't
4. Big Bird & the fish pond
5. A Man and His Dog
6. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
7. Chapter 3 The Parrot's Tale
8. Duped Net: The Interrogation
9. Drill Sergeant
10. The Elephant

Bingo and Bullets - Book Two: The Scarpelli Scorpions by Mark Sutton

The 'killer crinklies' of Crabley-on-Sea return in book two of the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Bingo and Bullets - Book One: The Borzelliero Bunch by Mark Sutton

Crabley-on-Sea is a town under siege... from its own 'killer crinklies'.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.