I want anyone who reads this to very critical.If there is something about it you dont like or something you do like I would like to know. It is part of the first chapter of my first book.I want to know if it is something you think people would read. So please share all your thoughts.
Hi, I’m Alexis. I’m 16 with long, blonde, naturally highlighted hair; blue eyes, a small frame, about 5ft 6in and 120 pounds. I’ve never thought that highly of how I looked. I looked good and that was good enough for me. I always dress like a complete slug too. I have a good fashion sense and nice clothes but I don’t really care about what people think of how I dress. I did but when I never got noticed I gave up.
It’s so strange, this is so different from what I’m used to. It’s my first time on the streets. I live in _______________ (still need a location). It’s basically split into 2 sides by an invisible line. Like on TV when a couple gets in a fight and they split the house up with a chalk line; but without the line. Hardly anyone crosses sides except for me. There’s the nicer richer side where I live, and the gang ridden poorer side where I am right now. The nice side has enormous suburb type houses and almost everyone can buy what ever they want when they want it. A lot of the people are spoiled and only think of them selves. The other side has broken down houses and is just filled with crime and hatred. No one is spoiled though and from what I’ve heard friendship bonds are really tight. There is sort of a battle going on between the two sides’ teenagers. We (not me) go gallivanting around mocking them well they become mad and fights break out. About every other week there’s an article in the newspaper or people gossiping about it around school. It seems like we take turns on who wins each fight. I really believe the struggle will never end but that battle is precisely why I’m here.
I came here to solve my problems. I’m the target of everyone at my school because I’m the smartest. I don’t know whether its jealousy or because they think it makes me and easier target. I’m not trying to sound arrogant or better but it is true . They’re always harassing me and trying to force me to do their homework. It doesn’t really get physical though I wouldn’t have a problem if it did but I receive quite a few threats. The guys are the worst with that but the girls exclude me. My whole life I’ve never been able to keep a friend because they all felt threatened of me for some reason or something like that, when I was always threatened of them. They had friends, they were popular, and they were accepted. I’m looked down on, harassed, and ignored. I just want to be out of that position; I’m for lake of a better word, desperate to fit in.
I’ve talked to the principal, stood up for myself almost everyday and even thought about getting my dad involved. He is the chief at the police department. Another reason for my exclusion, he gets involved in the fights. I figured that would just cause for more ridicule so I didn’t. The only reason I’m here is in hope that it will build up my reputation and everyone will leave me alone. I know it won’t help me fit in but maybe I can fit in on the streets. At least then I’d have friends and since bonds there are so close I’d probably be able to keep those friends.
I told my parents I’m tutoring. I didn’t tell them what I’m really doing because they wouldn’t approve, they would try to help. I also didn’t want them to know of my problems. I don’t want their pity or for them to think they need to set me up with people. I just have to make sure that I don’t get injured in a visible place and that none of the cops recognize me. I know all of them because of my father and best friend Logan, my only friend. He is 26, more like brother and he is a cop. He got involved in police work because of my father; I’ve known him since I was 5.
So, here I am walking the streets for the first time. I tried to appear confident so that people would turn their heads when I went by and ask, “Who is she?” I was wearing dark wash, tight, boot cut jeans; brown, 3 ½ inch heeled, ankle high boots; and a tight black tank top. Even though I wasn’t comfortable with my surroundings at least I looked the part. I was going for a hot tuff look like oh don’t mess with her. It better work or I’m screwed. I thought it was actually working pretty well until someone decided to mess with me. Some idiot walked up to me and said
“Oooo, what’s a hot little thing like you doing out here when you should be back at my place keeping busy?” he acted like a total player.
I rudely replied, “Does that line ever work or do girls just think you’re a perverted jack ass.”
After I said that the 4 other guys he was with all started ooing and stuff like that. Boy did he get infuriated with me. I take it he never had a girl talk to him like that before. Or else he didn’t like being talked to like in front of his friends.
“That’s not a very smart thing to say”, he replied with a terrible attitude.
“And what do you know about smart?”
“Uh I’m smarter than you.” he said with great arrogance.
“Yeah and you can just go on telling yourself that.” I couldn’t help but be sarcastic.
I then turned to his friends, put hand to my mouth (on the opposite side he was so he could see what I was saying and hear it) and quietly said,
“He is such an idiot. Is he always like this? If so he needs some serious help.”
That got him really angry and he came at me. A very bone headed mood considering the fact that my father wanted me to be able to defend myself. All I had to do was step aside, put my foot out and he was down. He jumped up and came at me again so I grabbed his arm, twisted his wrist and then twisted his arm behind his back. He started groaning in pain. I knew it would hurt him which is precisely why I did it. Well I was having fun inflicting pain on him someone of the side sarcastically yelled out surprising me since I didn’t see him coming,
“Jeeze Jamie you’re getting you ass whipped by a girl. What is that the 3rd time this week?”
With that I looked up and let go. Then he casually walked over to me as the rest walked away.
“It looks like you beat on my boy pretty bad,”
“Yeah he deserved it.” I was unable to keep the edge out of my voice.
“He probably did. I’m surprised he hasn’t been chopped up with an axe yet with the way he acts.”
“My name spells Axe.”
“Your name spells axe?” I felt so stupid, I couldn’t believe I just said, I was so embarrassed, but the damage was done.
“Yeah you just take out the e i and s well I guess it really doesn’t but it spells axis with and i like the axis the earth rotates on.” I sounded like such a geek.
“Oh, that’s very interesting. So your names Alexis then, right?”
“Yeah and you’re…” I gestured towards him hoping to get off the subject of my name.
“Huh, sounds like triscuit.”
“My name sounds like triscuit?”
“Yeah Tristan…. Triscuit don’t you hear it?”
“I guess it does, but don’t call me that I like my name the way it is I don’t need someone butchering it.”
“Ok Tris… cuit.”
He cleared his throat, “Changing the subject, are you new here?”
“Yeah well sort of.”
“What’s sort of?”
“I’ll explain once I get to know you better, I don’t want to give too much away.”
“So you want to keep it a mystery?”
“Of course, I love mysteries.” We were now flirting which I have to admit I’m not the best at. I just wonder if I appeared to be an amateur.
“So are you going to be out tomorrow night around seven?” it seemed like I didn’t.
“It depends, why are you asking?”
“I was wondering it you would like to go out?” he was asking me out already, he seemed a little desperate, not like I would tell him.
“Out? Hmmmmm I don’t know you know I already have plans.”
“Oh, okay it’s not like you even know me.” He sounded so disappointed I felt so bad tricking him.
“I’m just joking don’t sound so disappointed I should be able to make it. Where do you want to meet?”
“How about outside the Coyote?” I looked completely clueless, “It’s the main club just up the street and to the right; it shouldn’t be hard to miss.”
“Ok, so if I’m not there by 7:30 it means I couldn’t make it.”
“Works for me.”
“Alright I’ll see you then.”
I turned and walked away. As I was walking I heard him call out, “See you tomorrow”. With that I knew he was watching me walk away.