Become a Fan
Christian Crank! Who are the True Pot Heads?
By Samuel L. Nesbit
Monday, April 30, 2007
Rated "R" by the Author.
Humorous Insightful Article/Blog
It's almost 5:00 in the morning and I'm not sleepy. You know what I just realized the other day after a short discussion with friends who are elder to me? That the caffeine/coffee consumed by millions of Americans is actually a legal cheap way to get high (on SPEED).
I've always known caffeine was considered a drug, but it has never registered in my head like it did the other day, ‘cause the “stuff” is sold by the millions every day; consumed by even more, every day.
It’s readily available to anyone who has the means to purchase the stuff at leisure, and the fortitude to allow the stuff to pass over their smell and taste sensory factors.
The transactions aren’t carried out in dark allies, or suspiciously behind partitions in restroom stalls in a public place. Anyone can get the stuff under the bright lights of a huge supermarket’s canopy, which will come with the bright smile, or terse attitude of a cashier; along with adding the high pitched lively tone of the “adding machine” to add to the happy approval aimed at the fact that this drug transaction is an acceptable, common, ordinary, every day thing.
I've drunk the stuff, and frankly, I think it's pretty shitty tasting. So, I had never gotten to the point of feelin' a buzz, or stimulated by the stuff, until now. Unlike drinking 3 shots of whiskey, where I'd start to feelin' the effects right then and there, to where that would justify me puttin' up with the foul taste of the "devil's brew".
All this time, all of the Christian folk whom I've been associated with for so long (old and young), whom I respected and admired so much, who are some of the staunchest opponents against cigarettes, booze, chaw/dip, cussin' , smokin' P O T & doin' other
D R U G S, fornicatin', (fuckin' without a licenses, Fornication allowed Under the Consent of the King / marriage certificate) and other stuff that they deemed not Holy/Godly, or addictive, and will definitely land your ass in hell for doing, which I’ve been party too as well, has been walkin' around “tweakier” than a mutha fucka drinkin' P O T S of coffee a day for several years.
I have learned that caffeine has the same make up as most illegal drugs, although the effects are milder, it's still actually gettin' ya fucked up, dependant, hooked, and addicted to it. Drinking, and being hooked on coffee/caffeine has for a long time been one of those topics of discussion, and debate among “Church Folk Types” concerning the fact that consuming the substance by “Believers” constitutes sinful behavior or not, but I had never equated it with being in the same category as a “Pot Head”, or “Crack Fiend”; because this substance has been tolerated by our culture to where most professionals drink the stuff while performing the duties of their profession. Hell, some feel that they can’t even carry out their duties without getting their fix before they are to perform their daily functions.
I have heard a few of my Christian friends refer to coffee as "Christian Crank", so instead of them being hooked on “meth”, booze, or smoking etc. they are tweaked up all day long on coffee. Ya know what’s so amazing about this epiphany I’ve just experienced?
The first time I’d heard coffee dubbed “Christian Crank” about four years ago, came from an ex/reformed substance abuser turned Born Again Believer in Jesus. And get this, the other B. A. B’s. in J. sitting at the table in the restaurant happily, and triumphantly joined in on professing this drug by its newly “christened name” that one of their own (Now who was the first to call it that, I don’t know?) used as the vernacular to appoint their ways and standards above those who do the “other drugs” that they so despised, not realizing that this label that they’d so enthusiastically adopted was attaching them to the “Addicts”, and “A-holics” in whom they disparage so greatly.
All of this time I’ve been in the dark, but now it is clearer to me exactly what B.A.B’s in J. are eluding to when they would tip their cups to congratulate a “gooood pot of coffee” with smiles on their faces, and a bounce of a chuckle in their voices actually means. Man, these folks even carry on talk that resembles the conversations of pot smokers concerning the how to’s, and the why for’s of hemp culture. They talk about what a good bean looks like, how good the bean, and the brew is because it produces a sort of oily layer on top of the water. They talk about the smell, and how one brand or another is the “good stuff”. They vociferously display their disdain for the instant stuff, and not to ever use the "I" word around a caf-fiend. I feel like a dumb fuck, but I’m willing to admit it.
You see because I too, as a former B.A.B. in J. was caught up in justifying, and re-customizing values to suit my desires and wants under the guise of being a “Righteous Being”. Meaning, “IT” , whatever I wanted to ignore as wrong or bad, had a lower level of “sin value” placed on “IT” to allow for a much higher level of acceptance for “IT” to be tolerated. We cannot say that legality sited the standard by which the level of acceptance for “IT” was/is decided, because the use of alcohol, and tobacco products are legal, but still faces the stigmatism / label of “sinful behavior”, and “bad stuff”, which should be avoided by those who are anointed as God’s spokespeople’s points of views, [which is subject to change without notice].
Now I don’t give a shit what a person does, so I am not in any frame of my “former mind” to imply “wrong doing” towards any individual, or society at large just because I’m not hooked on smoking, or drinking coffee for that matter. So, I will admit to not knowing what the effects of a person’s physiological, and or psychological dependencies on certain substances are feeling when they are having to go through withdrawal symptoms (JONESIN’) for either legal, or illegal stimulants. Auspiciously, this is not my reason for writing this article. It is not for me to claim superiority over those who do live with certain habits, but rather to bring attention to hypocritical agendas encompassing us all, which tries to make one feel, or think of themselves as more worthy, or less of a person as we relate to our position in mind, body, spirit, and soul within global society.
As for those who says fuck the “system”, and bucks the “system” [Which for the purpose of debate concerning the topic of this article, I’ll label the “system” ‘God’s spokespeople’s ways & rules’] who finds themselves to be cast as a “sinner/bad person”, I salute you for seeing the inconsistencies, which had blinded me into being an inconsiderate, non-compassionate prick for Holiness, Righteousness, and Godliness’ sake. Now just why did I take the position to say that “the system” was according to “God’s spokespeople’s ways & rules”? Well let’s face it, if the fundamental X-tians are right about all the stuff that they claim to be an abomination to our souls, and will ultimately grant us a one way ticket to Hades / everlasting damnation, and punishment, then that is the only system that matters. This is what they believe, which is why they feel they have the authority to run another person down for committing the behaviors that they (X-tians) deem sinful. Okay, so let us stick to the foundation concerning the subject at hand. Unless we too fall into the same category that has placed those who believe in the Gospel of Jesus to split in their decisions as to what is right, and wrong, which has brought us to ask: Who are the true pot heads?
Since I have never been a “coffee drinker”, I did not understand why, until recently that an Elder/Bishop in the church, which I was affiliate with when I was a very young adult B.A.B. in J., ran my ass in and out of a hole after I made a comment concerning that: I did not drink the nasty ass stuff. It could be likened to boiling crabapples, and drinking it. That dude got so defensive by asking me over and over (not hysterically, but with firm conviction) had I ever eaten a crabapple and so on? I pleaded my case that no, I have not, but I do relate smell to taste, and vise a versa, and coffee was just as foul smelling as a crabapple.
Now you have to understand, this dude was workin’ on his fourth or fifth cup within an hour-n-some change, so he was stoked up and tweakin’ to where his mind was freakin’ off of the caffeine that he had consumed within the past hour.
I did sense at that time (some ten years ago) that he was pissed, but now I realize that he may have interpreted my disdain, and dislike for coffee as a personal assault and insult to his beliefs and standings by implying that he, this blood bought servant for God, who abhors sin and eschews sinners, was a coffee/caffeine addict.
Now just imagine if that was alcohol, which had been measured out to the same degree of caffeine per cup consumed, the fight would’ve been on. I am no biologist, but something tells me that you would know you had just consumed alcohol, even though you might not be “Drunk” the effects are surely present, and in the blood stream.
I have a very good B.A.B. in J. friend in whom I love like a rock, but if she doesn’t get her tea refilled in a timely manner at a restaurant, that women gets straight pissed bent. Her other beverage of choice is diet Dr. Pepper. Here is another enlightenment of observation that just crept up on me. This friend of mine has been diagnosed with urinary track infection, which one episode hospitalized her.
If I recollect correctly, her physician advised her to cut down, and refrain from the dark liquids, and start drinking the lighter colored soda pops, decaf tea, and coffee. Now the way I see it, most of the light colored soda pops are caffeine free, which would prove a healthier choice under her condition. Now I could be wrong, but I’m sure I’m not, she pitched a bitch not wanting to drink the light colored soda pop and decaf drinks.
I compare this to a diabetic alcoholic’s response to a doctor telling them to stop, or a least cut back on their drinking to help alleviate some of the problems that the alcohol is causing, and the person’s reluctance to quit, although it is causing them this suffering.
Is caffeine this powerfully addictive?
Hell, I enjoy Colas with caffeine, but I usually gravitate to the light colored soda pops, flavored types for example, root beer, orange, etc., and un-colas. I love a good bottle of eighty-plus-proof whiskey whenever I feel like, and however much I feel like, and I even like smoking a cigar, or pipe on occasion. So, I’d just like to know who, and what regulates one organically/naturally grown substance acceptable over another.
Is it the potency?
I can’t see how that can be, because they have been able to control, and regulate different potencies of alcohol, so the same can be done with many other stimulants that are considered controlled substances. Shit, it’s done with over-the-counter anti sleeping agents. Scientist know how to decaf coffee and tea to make it a weaker blend. So, the same can be done for other naturally/organically grown substances.
I’d also like to know, how many studies have been done to show how many accidents (of all kinds) can be attributed to the possibility of caffeine/coffee consumption?
There are a lot of writers who will pen an opine as such, and not state their own position concerning the subject at hand. You see, I am not an advocate for, or against stuff that are consumed/ingested by individuals (legal, or illegal). I just hope that if these mood altering stimulants are taken, that that individual(s) shows responsibility while using them out of safety, and concern to others living in our world, either closely related to them, or just a citizen of our society.
I can’t deny that, I too have been found guilty in a court of law, because I did not exercise responsibility while being under the influence of a legal substance, which still has illegal connotations, and penal consequences tied to it. Just because I agree with hemp, drink hooch, but not do the other drugs like “meth”, cocaine, heroin, etc. does not put me above anyone, or anything. I’ve just accepted that if I do get caught by some cop who might be high on caffeine that I will just have to suffer the consequences for my choices.
After my epiphany, I have decided to palate this foul tasting stimulant in order to expand my peripheries. I’ve only had 2 cups of some "goooood ground brew" and my ass is wired.
So I'm going to continue my studies and experiments to see if I can reach the level needed to ascertain a fondness for the bitter bean so I can join my fellow Americans in walkin' around all day legally fucked up. That way I can drink ounces upon ounces of the “stuff”, transport pounds of the “stuff” in my vehicle, and also drive around with an open container as high as a satellite, and not worry about having to come down, 'cause chances are, the cop who just sped past me is fucked outta his mind on some of the good “stuff” too.
There is always somethin' to make me appreciate this country even more.
So, I have to counsel with myself, are coffee drinkers the True POT HEADS, and CAF - FEINDS
Ya wanna talk about the pot can callin’ the kettle black,
and that’s just The Way I See Stuffs.
Site: The Way I See Stuffs
Want to review or comment on this
Click here to login!
Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!
|Reviewed by Cynth'ya email@example.com
|Water. . . nothing like it, keeps the body clean. Interesting thought. Wisdom comes in being an example of the right, and if a person's heart is right, this temple called the body will be well taken care of. All we have is the heart. And also interestingly enough, the word "Christian" was never give to us by God. It was given to us by people who did not follow Christ. That's always amazed me.
blessin's in your search Bro. Samuel (beautiful name)
cynth'ya lewis reed