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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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A Conversation Between Cousins The Contiuing Saga Co Written With Sarah T
By Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen
Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Rated "R" by the Author.

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Rebekka Rachel tries to comfort her cousin Kia, after her cousin was gang raped...

 


 


 


legoless says:



Hi Kia


legoless says:



I would ask you how you are, but I already know


Kia Kia Kia says:



yeah, that's a loaded question


legoless says:



I know


Kia Kia Kia says:



I have had the most horrible day


legoless says:



I know Kia, I want to help you through this


Kia Kia Kia says:



I don't know if there is anything you can do


Kia Kia Kia says:



but I do appreciate your support


legoless says:



I wish there were something I could do


Kia Kia Kia says:



everybody thinks I am so strong, but I am not


Kia Kia Kia says:



not at all


legoless says:



I know what happened to you is enough to break anyone down


legoless says:



Have you talked to Sierra, she wants to help?


Kia Kia Kia says:



I thought I could handle this on my own, not have to tell anyone. I tried, I really did


legoless says:



I know you did Kia


legoless says:



But nobody can handle something like that on there onw


legoless says:



Own


Kia Kia Kia says:



I thought I could


Kia Kia Kia says:



it's so humilating to have everyone know what happened


legoless says:



I know Kia, but you are brave to talk about it


Kia Kia Kia says:



and everything I went through at the drs office, made me feel like it was happening all over again


legoless says:



I knew that was going to happen I am so sorry Kia


Kia Kia Kia says:



I wish I had never told Mama


legoless says:



Kia you can't keep something like that inside, you just can't


Kia Kia Kia says:



I feel like I have taken a million showers since this happened but I still feel filthy. I have scrubbed until my skin is red and bleeding and I can't get his smell off of me. It won't come off


Kia Kia Kia says:



I still smell him, on my skin, in my hair, everywhere


legoless says:



I am sorry Kia, I really wish I could help you, I feel like I am helpless to help you


Kia Kia Kia says:



I am so sore, from what he did to me and the dr's office.


Kia Kia Kia says:



I just hurt and nothing I do makes the hurt go away


Kia Kia Kia says:



how am I supposed to move on, get past this, when he is still out there?


legoless says:



I don't know Kia, the cops are going to find him, we have to believe that


Kia Kia Kia says:



can I tell you something, something I have not told anyone else?


legoless says:



sure


Kia Kia Kia says:



you have to promise NEVER to tell anyone, EVER.


legoless says:



what Kia?


Kia Kia Kia says:



there was more than one man when I was raped


legoless says:



I can't promise without knowing what I am promising you know that


legoless says:



omgosh Kia, I am so sorry


Kia Kia Kia says:



there were four of them


legoless says:



how could they do that to you Kia?


Kia Kia Kia says:



and they all raped me over and over for an hour


Kia Kia Kia says:



I haven't told anyone else


Kia Kia Kia says:



mama thinks it only happened once


Kia Kia Kia says:



I was in so much shock and so embarrased, I didn't correct her thinking only one person was involved


legoless says:



Kia that is to much for you to be holding in, it cant be good for you


Kia Kia Kia says:



I'm scared


legoless says:



I know you are Kia, and I feel helpless


Kia Kia Kia says:



scared to sleep, scared to leave the house


legoless says:



to help you, I feel like I should be doing something


Kia Kia Kia says:



what if they come back and kill me.


legoless says:



Kia you cant think like that


Kia Kia Kia says:



they said they would if I talked


legoless says:



why don't you stay at our house this weekend, Mom already talked to Aunt Kendra


Kia Kia Kia says:



I didn't want to talk, mama forced me to tell the police what happened


legoless says:



you had to or it could happen again


legoless says:



I will be home this weekend Kia, I want you to stay with me


Kia Kia Kia says:



what if they get me as I am walking to your house? They know where I live. One of them followed me home after they let me go.


legoless says:



you wont walk to my house


Kia Kia Kia says:



I appreciate that


Kia Kia Kia says:



what if they see me leave and then get me at your house?


legoless says:



they wont you will leave from the Rehab hospital, Aunt Kendra comes every morning to see me


Kia Kia Kia says:



I am afraid to even go to sleep tonight


legoless says:



I know and thats why I want to be here for you


Kia Kia Kia says:



I keep thinking I hear things outside


Kia Kia Kia says:



I'm just a kid, I shouldn't be having to deal with this crap


legoless says:



why don't you come to the hospital


legoless says:



you can stay here, someone is always here nobody will sneak in


Kia Kia Kia says:



b.c I still wouldn't sleep


legoless says:



but we would be together


Kia Kia Kia says:



I think it's not physically possible


Kia Kia Kia says:



and I would not want to keep you awake all night


legoless says:



I still have trouble sleeping Kia


Kia Kia Kia says:



getting lonely w.out Susie?


legoless says:



so you wouldnt be keeping me anymore awake than that


legoless says:



thats part of it


Kia Kia Kia says:



I bet it is quiet in there tonight


legoless says:



But I am afraid to sleep still


Kia Kia Kia says:



why?


legoless says:



you don't want to hear my troubles you have enough of your own?


Kia Kia Kia says:



I would rather hear yours than think about mine


legoless says:



I'm scared to sleep, scared that I will wake up and be in the same shape I was when I first came in here


legoless says:



I am still so helpless, I can't even go to the bathroom on my own


Kia Kia Kia says:



well, believe me, I know how humiliating that can be, after what I went through today, as if being raped was not enough


legoless says:



sorry


legoless says:



it just sucks


Kia Kia Kia says:



that dr should know all about my private places, not a good feeling, believe me


legoless says:



I know


Kia Kia Kia says:



I felt just about as violated by the dr as I did those men


legoless says:



yeah I would imagine so


Kia Kia Kia says:



only I wasn't naked this time. I did have a gown and a sheet


Kia Kia Kia says:



I hope I never have to go through that again


Kia Kia Kia says:



but I will have to. they want to check me again in six weeks to make sure I am healing


legoless says:



I do too


legoless says:



hope you never have to go through that


Kia Kia Kia says:



sorry, I got sick just thinking about what will happen in six weeks and had to dash to the bathroom


legoless says:



its okay


legoless says:



the nurse had to come in and change my sheets again when will I stop soiling myself?


Kia Kia Kia says:



I hate to say it, but probably never


legoless says:



thats encouraging


Kia Kia Kia says:



hey, I am nothing if not honest...


legoless says:



I know


legoless says:



and I appreciate your honesty


Kia Kia Kia says:



they would do something too keep you from doing that it would seem


legoless says:



I have a colostonmy bag, and cathether, but they arent full proof I guess


Kia Kia Kia says:



Mom keeps pressing me for details. I am so tried of being prodded and poked and violated.


legoless says:



I know and I am sorry Kia


Kia Kia Kia says:



it seems like I am being physically or verbally prodded every minute of the day


legoless says:



yeah I know Kia


Kia Kia Kia says:



If I were not so afraid to leave the house, I would run away from home


legoless says:



Kia the doctors are coming in telling me its time to go to bed


Kia Kia Kia says:



ok


Kia Kia Kia says:



well, thanks for listening to me whine. I appreciate it


legoless says:



will you think about staying with me over the weekend?


legoless says:



what are cousins for?


Kia Kia Kia says:



yeah, I will think about it


Kia Kia Kia says:



Susie has been really sweet to me too. I don't know if she has ever told you everything that happened to her when she was kidnapped, but she told me


Kia Kia Kia says:



I could tell her hurt her to talk about it but she insisted


legoless says:



yes she told me too, its really sad


Kia Kia Kia says:



she was in so much pain. I just wanted to cry.


legoless says:



I know it is really sad


Kia Kia Kia says:



but she made her mom bring her over to see me


Kia Kia Kia says:



and by the time she was back in the car, she could not keep from crying out.


Kia Kia Kia says:



I felt so bad that she made herself go through that, just for me


legoless says:



I know it is really hard for her


Kia Kia Kia says:



I mean she called and wanted me to come see her, but I wouldn't leave the house, and then the next thing I know she is at my front door


legoless says:



wow


legoless says:



she walked over?


Kia Kia Kia says:



she had her mom put her in the car and drive her


legoless says:



oh okay


Kia Kia Kia says:



I really felt like scum


Kia Kia Kia says:



for putting her through all that


legoless says:



you shouldnt, she doesnt open up to very many people


Kia Kia Kia says:



I meant not only the emotional pain but the physical as well


legoless says:



I know but you should feel honored, she really doesnt tell many people about it, that means she feels safe with you


egoless says:



good night Kia, try and get some rest okay?


Kia Kia Kia says:



I think she was trying to help me see she actually could understand


Kia Kia Kia says:



ok, I guess I will see you think weekend, maybe


legoless says:



yeah she is like that, she really trusts you and I am glad


legoless says:



yeah I think I am going to see if Susie can come over too, for a few hours at least


Kia Kia Kia says:



maybe we should go over there


Kia Kia Kia says:



it liked to have killed her to be moved that much, and I don't live that far from her


legoless says:



I live two doors down from her remember?


legoless says:



you live in soulsbyville


Kia Kia Kia says:



well, dinner just came back up


legoless says:



or however you spell it


legoless says:



I am sorry Kia


Kia Kia Kia says:



I'm sorry, I am not very with things tonight


legoless says:



its okay


legoless says:



I wish I could give you a hug


Kia Kia Kia says:



me too


Kia Kia Kia says:



I wish someone was here to wrap their arms around me and let me feel safe


legoless says:



I can't exactly wrap my arms around anyone yet, but I will do my best to be here for you okay?


Kia Kia Kia says:



I appreciate that


Kia Kia Kia says:



I guess I am going to lose everything I ate today


legoless says:



maybe you should go to the doctors, they might give you something to settle your stomach


Kia Kia Kia says:



I don't think it would help


Kia Kia Kia says:



I am going to go and try to lay down I think.


legoless says:



it couldnt help I don't think, you really don't need to loose anymore wait, and if you keep getting sick you are going to end up in the hospital


Kia Kia Kia says:



maybe I would feel safer if I were in the hospital


legoless says:



o Kia, I feel so helpless to help you


Kia Kia Kia says:



it's ok. it's not your fault


Kia Kia Kia says:



Mama is coming. I better go. She doesn't know I am still awake


legoless says:



ol


legoless says:



ok


Kia Kia Kia says:



good night


legoless says:



good night


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