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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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Hope and Helplessness ( A Conversation Between Holly and Kia with S/Tagert)
By Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen
Friday, January 25, 2008

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Kia says:

its okay, its in the past, and I have moved on with the help of the Lord

 


 


 


 


Kia says:



Hey Holly


 Holly Hobby says:



hey


Kia says:



how are you?


 Holly Hobby says:



I am getting better, I think


Kia says:



me too


 Holly Hobby says:



getting the flu really knocked me for a loop


Kia says:



yeah I bet, that was a nasty bug


Kia says:



I heard that your counts are almost normal though


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, they are getting there. I still have like 6 more weeks of treatments to go though


Kia says:



ugh


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, I hate it


Kia says:



at least you are doing better than you were though, did they find something more powerful to help with the nausea?


 Holly Hobby says:



no, I am still throwing up every five minutes


Kia says:



ugh I am sorry


Kia says:



how are you keeping any vitamins or nutrients in you


 Holly Hobby says:



I can't keep anything down


Kia says:



how are you staying alive?


 Holly Hobby says:



IV


Kia says:



Iv's?


 Holly Hobby says:



IV fluids


Kia says:



ugh are you at least able to eat a little between the treatments, I know they placed them farther apart now


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, every 4 days


Kia says:



thats better than what they were


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, they were every day


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm down to about 50lbs


Kia says:



darn


Kia says:



thats tiny


Kia says:



well when you get better we are defintiely going to have to fatten you u[


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, I know


Kia says:



u


Kia says:



up


 Holly Hobby says:



I am pretty much skin and bones


Kia says:



I can make a pretty good German Chocolate Cake, we'll feed you some of that when you are up to eating again


 Holly Hobby says:



let's not talk about food, I might start to hurl again


Kia says:



ok


Kia says:



I'm doing better than I was


 Holly Hobby says:



I know, you are doing so great lately


Kia says:



lots better


Kia says:



yeah


Kia says:



I miss Aunt Naomi and Aunt Louisa though, not to mention the rest of the gang, glad Mamma made it home okay the other day


 Holly Hobby says:



me too


 Holly Hobby says:



I miss the old days, before everyone moved away


Kia says:



yeah me too but I can understand why they did it


 Holly Hobby says:



me too


Kia says:



I have some news btw, just dont get mad


 Holly Hobby says:



ok...


Kia says:



Mamma Kendra is thinking about taking you with her to London, they may have something that would better help you there and make you less sick


 Holly Hobby says:



why would I be mad?


Kia says:



it would mean being half way across the world


Kia says:



I am not sure how well you would take to flying


 Holly Hobby says:



oh


Kia says:



Mamma Kendra would be there of course


Kia says:



and I may even come along


 Holly Hobby says:



of course


 Holly Hobby says:



that would be awesome


Kia says:



But Ricks been in contact with several oncologists in the UK and there may be away for you to be able to eat again


Holly Hobby says:



that would be great, I hate puking up everything I eat


Kia says:



I dont blame you


 Holly Hobby says:



I really am not even trying to eat anymore, it's so useless


Kia says:



as long as you are getting what you need in you someway


 Holly Hobby says:



yeah, I am on this IV


Kia says:



thats good


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm so sick of hospitals, nurses, drugs, IV's and surgery


 Holly Hobby says:



I just want to go back to being "normal"


Kia says:



yeah I know what you mean after I lost my leg and spent the time in the hospital I thought my life was over


Kia says:



and after the brain injury it was even worse, but I have been leaning on the Lord and praying alot it really has helped


 Holly Hobby says:



what scares me is my life might really be over


Kia says:



your levels are going up thats a good sign


 Holly Hobby says:



but the doctors have tried all the treatments in their grasp


 Holly Hobby says:



they are reaching the end of their rope


Holly Hobby says:



they are talking about giving my body a rest from the treatments for a while


 Holly Hobby says:



but I know what that really means


Kia says:



thats not good


 Holly Hobby says:



they are giving up on me


Kia says:



Maybe not


Kia says:



thats why Mamma wants to send you to London


 Holly Hobby says:



my parents treated cancer patients,


Kia says:



yes but Missy survived cancer, and Natalie did so can you


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm just so scared


 Holly Hobby says:



I don't want to die. I have so much living left to do


Kia says:



I know and I am going to be fighting with you


Kia says:



not for you because I cant but I am going to be with you throughout this, we are sisters now


 Holly Hobby says:



even w. a million people around me I still feel alone


Kia says:



I understand the feeling, but we are never alone not when we have Jesus in our lives


Kia says:



(Oh Joy the storm has decided to start up AGAIN)


 Holly Hobby says:



(I think we should bring in the idea I had some time back, about Kia remembering her attack)


Kia says:



(Dont know if its going to happen tonight, this weather has decided to go nuts again)


 Holly Hobby says:



(ugh)


 Holly Hobby says:



Kia, I wanted to ask you something.


Kia says:



ok


 Holly Hobby says:



you have been talking in your sleep lately, a lot


Kia says:



I know and yes I remember the attack


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm sorry


 Holly Hobby says:



I think I shouldn't have said anything


Kia says:



its okay, its in the past, and I have moved on with the help of the Lord


 Holly Hobby says:



it just bothers me b.c you sound so scared


Kia says:



I am not scared anymore I was


 Holly Hobby says:



ok


 Holly Hobby says:



did you tell Mamma Kendra?


Kia says:



yes


 Holly Hobby says:



ok


Kia says:



we stayed up late one night talking about it


 Holly Hobby says:



ok


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm still having to learn how to be open and honest.


Kia says:



After what you went through I can see why


 Holly Hobby says:



we have talked about if they can't find a cure for my cancer, what will happen, and how I want things to go


 Holly Hobby says:



and I don't want to spend all my energy fight this if I am not going to win. I want to be able to spend the rest of my time living


 Holly Hobby says:



we are going to see what the London drs say, but if they don't hold out much hope, I am not going to fight it


Kia says:



Uncle Rick seems really hopeful


 Holly Hobby says:



it could just be a front


 


Kia says:



they said they treated a little girl who was in worse shape than you, and she survived


Kia says:



Uncle Rick would not do that, would not give you false hope you should know that by now


 


 Holly Hobby says:



I really feel like I hardly know him to tell you the truth


 Holly Hobby says:



I'm sorry Kia, but I am going to have to go. I am getting sick again.


 Holly Hobby says:



Holly Hobby disconnects


Kia says:



its okay


Kia says:



(Kia Disconnects)


 





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Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 1/26/2008
Good conversational story between Kia and Holly; hope things improve for them as well. So much sadness going on in these stories!! Still, very well written and laid out! Well done!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D


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