I hated the game, the game Daddy made me play.

I felt like a bad girl when I played that game, dirty inside.

It was our secret, Daddies and mine, not even Mama could know about it.  He said if she found out, he would have to hurt Mamma and I knew he would.
 

He made me do things that hurt me, that made me feel dirty on the inside, that made my stomach feel sick.

He was a monster to me, so I knew he would be to Mamma.

My own Daddy was a monster.

Other Daddies loved their daughters, but mine hurt me.

And for a long time I thought I was bad, that I had done something wrong until I was older and I learned different.

I learned it was not my fault, but at the time I felt like I was bad like somehow I deserved to be hurt like that.

I did not know differently until I went to talk to someone, a therapist who dealt with kids who had been hurt the way I was.  I realized I was not alone, that I was not the only one who had a Daddy who hurt them and made them feel dirty..

To Be Continued