AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
Happy 4th of July!
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Donna Lynch, iMaria Daddino, iStephen Cafaro, iMargaret Hardisty, iMary Adair, iPhilip Hughes-Luing, iVenkataraman Gopalakrishnan, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Sean D Rasmussen

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Messages
· 117 Titles
· 448 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Sean D Rasmussen, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


Late Night Lessons with Fire Ants
By Sean D Rasmussen
Monday, January 05, 2004



Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by Sean D Rasmussen
· Cooks and Suction Cups
· Fixing the Dryer
· Rules of living in my house
· House cleaning ,Guy style
           >> View all 5


Lessons learned late at night regarding fire ants, crackers and a half asleep human

It is interesting on what you can learn in the middle of the night when all the lights are out. I have learned quite a few things recently about a hungry stomach, sleeping human and fire ants.

Case in point:

I was sound asleep in my room, and like most people there was no lights on in the house so it was pitch black. It seemed on that night that my stomach had decided to talk my sleeping brain into a late night snack, so about an hour after I fell into a peaceful slumber I woke hungry. It was then I learned the following things:

1. When asleep an empty stomach can make suggestions for a late night snack and has an exellent memory in order to keep you from waking completly up to veto its ideas. Such as, " Remember you have some crackers by your bed, you don't even have to get up."

2. An empty stomach can then guide your hand to the crackers in the middle of the night, pull one out, and then to your mouth for a late night snack.

3. Fire ants had found their way into my room sometime during the day.

4. Fire ants like crackers for midnight snacks too.

5. Fire ants are crunchy and have no taste.

6. Fire ants do not like being eaten by a half asleep human in the middle of the night.

7. When a fire ant stings you on the lip it wakes you up completly, suddenly and unpleasently.

8. After you spit them out and drop the crackers you have angry fire ants in your bed.

9. Crunchy fire ants stick to your tounge .

So, next time you wake up in the middle of the night craving a snack please make sure that you are not sharing said snack unwittingly with any little six-legged critters with nasty stingers, they will surely appreciate the thought.


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Carol Chapman 1/18/2004
I laughed and sympathised with you on this one. What a great idea and presented well.

Carol (Who found a floating raft of fire ants yesterday in the flooding rain here on the Texas coast and is scratching in empathy)
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/5/2004
(((sean)))

OUCH. *cringe* hope this is fictional...you must live in the south...here in texas, we're overrun by these nasty little critters

people have died from allergic reactions to fire ants

be careful, dear friend...might i suggest a plastic container with a lid to put your snacks in, that way you can eat and not have to share with the fire ants??

hope your lips and tongue are better--bless your heart

i felt this one, even as i was laughing at the way you humorously described this (PAINFUL) lesson--good job

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :(
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 1/5/2004
lol this is disGUSTing, but this is also very funny! i'll try to remember not to eat anything in bed; fireants may come, and i may eat one of THEM instead!! LOL (hmmm..talk about extra protein...NASTY!) (((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. A Reluctant Father Christmas
3. Please Don't
4. Big Bird & the fish pond
5. A Man and His Dog
6. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
7. Chapter 3 The Parrot's Tale
8. Duped Net: The Interrogation
9. Drill Sergeant
10. The Elephant

Bingo and Bullets - The Killer Wrinklies by Mark Sutton

The 'killer wrinklies of Crabley-on-Sea' are introduced in this short prequel to the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

The Curse of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer by Mark Sutton

Someone else has stepped into Brian Miller's slippers.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.