This imaginary article was the first post in Hannibal Jones' blog and is written in his voice, first person, to help introduce people to the character.
I donít generally like being in the spotlight. I guess the Secret Service taught me itís better to keep a low profile.
But Iím not with them anymore, and this reporter Irma Andrews helped me unravel a series of murders that caused a lot of collateral damage among the families of the victims. So when Irma asked for an interview I didnít see how I could say no. Despite my girl Cindyís prompting I refused to do a TV piece. Appearing in print is bad enough. At least Irma didnít misquote me, but I think she left out some stuff that makes the whole thing a little misleading. Anyway, hereís the way the piece ran:
I met with private investigator Hannibal Jones in his office in the Anacostia section of Washington. He offered me an excellent cup of coffee, which he said was made from Costa Rican beans, and sat at his desk with sunlight pouring in through large front windows. The office was small and Spartan, sparely furnished but warm and bright. Significantly, while I took notes during the interview, so did Mr. Jones.
Irma Andrews: Thank you for speaking with me today. You are listed as a private investigator but your card describes you as a troubleshooter. How would you describe what you do, and why is it different from what most P.I.ís do?
Hannibal Jones: Most private investigators do employment vetting, matrimonial and divorce work, insurance claims and that kind of stuff. My work is a lot more focused. My clientele is individuals, not corporations. I work with people who are in trouble and donít know where to get help.
IA: But you do bodyguard work.
IA: And solve mysteries like any detective.
HJ: On occasion.
IA: And if a person has been threatened?
HJ: Look, I do whateverís necessary to help somebody whoís gotten themselves into a jam. I donít think much about what that might be, going in.
IA: What qualifies you to do this sort of work? What is your professional background?
HJ: As soon as I was old enough I moved to the States and joined the New York City police force.
IA: You werenít born in the United States?
HJ: No. I was raised in Germany. My dad was an MP in the army. My mom was a German national. We lost Dad in Vietnam. Anyway, I came to the U.S. to be a cop and I was going to bring Mama over as soon as I was settled but she passed.
IA: While you were away.
HJ: (pause.) Yes. While I was away.
IA: Iím sorry. So, you became a policemanÖ
HJ: Three years on the force to make detective J.G. Then three more as a detective. Then I passed the Secret Service entry exam. I spent seven years as a special agent for the Treasury Department, in the protective service.
IA: But after seven years, you resigned.
HJ: Yeah, well, stuff happened. I should have been one of the uniforms instead of going to the protective service. You see, in the protective service they expect you to not only protect your principalís life, but his reputation too. I didnít think my duty should included covering up a politicianís stupid actions. My boss disagreed.
IA: Any politician in particular?
HJ: Not going to go there.
IA: A national figure? Executive branch orÖ
HJ: Iím not going to go there.
IA: All right. So you had friction with your supervisor. For that you resigned?
HJ: Yeah. Well, after I knocked him on his ass the service was good enough to let me resign.
IA: Should I print that?
HJ: Why not. Itís what happened. They were actually pretty nice about it. Could have stopped me from getting the P.I license you know.
IA: So why this whole troubleshooter concept? How did you get into this business?
HJ: I guess in a way I did it for Mama. She always wanted me to follow my dadís example. He was always there for people, always looking out for the little guy. Here in Washington, it seemed like there was an overabundance of little guys that needed looking out for.
IA: How do you get enough clients?
HJ: It was slow at first, but word of mouth is a powerful force in the hood. I did a couple of jobs pro bono - kept a couple of kids from being approached by drug dealers. After that people started to find me when they had problems.
IA: So your neighbors are your clients?
HJ: My clients are people with problems bigger than they are. Naturally that happens more often to people without big money.
IA: I know youíve also had more affluent clients.
HJ: Well, I do get referrals from old Secret Service contacts. And I get business referred to me by the attorney I introduced you to, Cindy Santiago, my, um, friend.
IA: So you do have entrees into a higher financial stratum, but the well-to-do donít come to Anacostia. Why have your office here?
HJ: Thatís a bit of a story. This building used to be a crack house, believe it or not. I was hired to clear the bad element out of here for the owner. In the process I kind of bonded with the neighborhood. I felt at home here, and I knew if I stayed, the bad element wouldnít be back. I guess the owner knew it too. He made me a very attractive offer to stay.
IA: Why not join a larger detective agency?
HJ: I like deciding who Iíll take as a client, and what kind of job Iíll do.
IA: What kind of job will you do?
HJ: All kinds. Well, no matrimonial stuff, or spying on people waiting for them to do wrong. But I do personal protection, missing persons, sometimes get hired to prove an accused person innocent. Iíll chase a bad element away like I did here, keep drug dealers away from kids or a pimp away from a hooker who wants to quit. Negotiate with loan sharks. Basically, if you have to deal with the bad guys and donít want the police involved, Iíll usually handle it.
IA: You carry a pistol. What do you think of gun control laws?
HJ: Good gun control means being able to hit the target. Anybody who wants a gun can get one, so restrictive laws only keep people who obey the law unarmed and unable to defend themselves.
IA: But isnít it too dangerous for everyone to be able to have a gun?
HJ: Based on statistics, itís too dangerous for everyone to be able to have a car. Maybe guns should be more like cars. You get a license to carry at 18, after passing a mandatory training course.
IA: Interesting. How would you describe your relationship with the police?
HJ: Iíd call it mutual grudging respect. I donít mess with them. They donít mess with me.
IA: How would you describe your personal relationship with Cindy Santiago?
HJ: I would describe it as personal.
IA: What have you learned doing this job?
HJ: Iíve learned that most people are sheep. Theyíre not looking for trouble and theyíll do the right thing if you let them. A few people are wolves. They prey on the sheep, and theyíre going to do wrong no matter what you do. They need to be shut out or put down hard.
IA: And you? Where do you fit in?
HJ: Me? I guess Iím the sheepdog.