Golf, Writing and Fourteen Things (Humor) By Paul H. Kogel
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
Fourteen things can be a lot when age creeps up on you.
Golf, Writing and Fourteen Things
By Paul H. Kogel
I was getting on in years when I first took up the game of golf. I enjoyed myself more with every round played. I hit that little ball over there, and then hit it over there. I hit that ball so many times; people said I played more golf per-round than anyone they ever knew.
Then one day a man tapped me on the shoulder and said I’d play a better game if I did this. So I did and lo and behold, I did play a better game. So I hit that ball around the course until I knew every nook and cranny. The ball went this way and that way, in sand, water and wood.
Then one day a man tapped me on the shoulder and said I’d play even better if I did this. So I did, and sure enough, I played a better game.
Things continued on this way until before long, I stood on the Tee and stared at the club face as I addressed the ball. “There are fourteen things I must remember before hitting this ball,” I mused. “The entire swing, from start to finish, will take only about two and a half seconds, and I have fourteen things to think about before the club can strike its mark.”
I don’t play golf anymore.
Oh it’s not because of the fourteen things. It’s my heart you know.
The doctor said to slow it down, and suggested I take up writing. “Well, I can do that,” I told him. “Why, I should be able to handle words; I’ve been dealing with them all my life.”
So, I sat down at that computer-thing, and began to write those words. I wrote poems and short stories and even tried a novel. I wrote from sun up to sun down. Day after day I spun those words across that screen like tapestries of thought.
Then one day someone tapped me on the shoulder and said I’d write better if I did this. So I did, and wouldn’t you know, my writing improved. I wrote wit, and fright and fairy-tales and everything in between.
Then one day someone tapped me on the shoulder and said I’d write even better if I did this. So I did, and as you can imagine, my writing did improve. I wrote crime and punishment, action and adventure, drama and romance. “I love this stuff,” I said.
Well, things continued on like this until one day I sat looking upon the proverbial blank page. “Fourteen things I must remember before I can type the first word,” I mused. “Fourteen things before I know my work will be considered good.”
I don’t write anymore.
Oh it’s not because of the fourteen things. It’s my arthritis you know.
Also read these other best selling short stories by Paul H. Kogel:
This Dreadful Deed The billowing low-lying fog hid the cold stone steps from my view, but I instinctively knew they were there, leading down into the bowels of the earth. This story will remind you of the old black and white horror films.
Werewolf Made The transformation is a messy one, wrought with agony. Froth drips from my fangs, coating my chin and chest like ocean foam. A man is changed into a werewolf by a machine called ‘Crane’s Bell’.
Creation of the Gad Fly Of all the creatures that have entered Kur, few have ever returned. But none of them return unchanged, and so it was with the two agents of the Lord of Wisdom. This story was inspired by the fascinating myth of Inanna.
The Ancients So it came to pass that the Sleeper awakened. He saw the handy-work of His dream and smiled, for He was greatly pleased. Though I am a Christian, I made up this Myth story of creation as it happened in my otherwise sick little mind so that it was in keeping with my other mythology “The Creation of the Gad Fly”.
Double Cross Richey was good, very good, but you could never be good enough to thwart the inevitable once the Don’s finger pointed your way. A man had signed an agreement with the Don of a New York syndicate crime family to fulfill his recently killed father’s obligation to the family of six more years of contract killings. Now, that obligation is fulfilled. He is released and moves to Miami to be with his fiancé. Unfortunately, things often do not go according to plan. He is tricked and pulled back in for one last job. He finishes that job in a most unusual way. The twist (the mystery) is not revealed until the very last line of the story. It has a very wild twist that most readers won’t see coming.
Loved it, I personally play golf and am at step twelve. My age only allows me to remember the first four so I keep playing. Seriously your story was great and a lot of fun. One of the best I have read in quite some time.
I hope you don't give up writing. This was great! Oh and you might get more relief from your arthritis if you take Aleve instead of plain aspirin. Just kidding! I don't want to do the 14 things thing. Fantastic work!