Dear Journal~

A few days later since my last entry, and Sikik continues to battle with a spirit I've never witnessed before.  She continues to hang on to life with the thinnest of threads; it's very encouraging to see; however, at the same time, it's breaking my heart, as she's still suffering so.

Sikik remains the same:  no better, yet no worse.  Her vital signs are (relatively) stable.  Color looks pretty good, all things considering.  Tubes keep her alive.  They still have her sedated heavily, so she doesn't knock out (or pull out) the tubes that's invaded her emaciated body.  Very discouraging to see.

I wish something would happen:  no, I don't wish her to die, but anything's better than not knowing whether she is going to ever get better (Somehow, I doubt it, from the way the doctors are talking), or knowing whether she is going to live the day.

I am continuing my hospital vigil with my dying sister, as she fights for life.  I have only gone to the motel to do laundry or get a nap whenever possible.  Otherwise, I'm here at Anchorage Medical Center, where I visit, stay with my sister.  I stay in case she awakens, or if the nurses need anything.  I get very little in the way of sleep; I'm past the point of exhaustion.

Whoever said you get rest in a hospital has no idea what they are talking about because you don't.

The weather here matches the gloominess of my spirit:  grey, damp, rainy.  No chance of the sunshine ever emerging.  Very depressing.

My spirit feels the exact same way.  For the first time since she ended up in the hospital, in this sad condition, I am without hope.  All I can do is cry, worry myself into a panic.

Well, the doctors are here, they want to examine her, see how she is doing, so I must leave now.  I am going to write in here in a day or so, sooner if anything changes.  Just continue to keep me, Mattaq Eegeesiak (as well as my sister, Sikik), in prayer; we can really use them now!  Thank you!

~Mattaq. :(