
Feb. 13, 2009, Nashville, TN, 6:26 a.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Journal~
Ronee' here. I'm afraid I'm not in the best of moods. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I don't even have anyone to share it with, other than my friends or family.
Oh, it's okay, but it's more for lovers, or for those who have boy/girlfriends. I have neither. I'm cold-stone single (I'm not really looking, mind you)! There's all this mushy stuff on television, or sappy love songs, or things like candy, cards, flowers, etc., and I suddenly wish I had a special someone in my life.
My brother, Johnny, has a girlfriend, and my brother Anh, has his wife-to-be, Thu. Other members of my family have people interested in them. As for me, I have nobody. Zilch. Zippo.
I mean, am I that bad of a person? Am I that ugly?? I thought I was pretty!!!! What do they have that I don't??
I'm sixteen! I should have at least several boys hanging off my arm, or at least taking an interest in me!! I'm not asking for that kind of attention (the sex; too young; don't need it 'til after I'm married!!); but a boy bringing me flowers, taking me to a movie, or taking me out to eat would be nice!!
I am a very nice person; I don't cause trouble or act mean towards others! Why can't I get a boy to notice me?? Is it because I'm disabled? Do I have horns growin' out of my forehead? Is it because I'm short? Is it because I'm too thin? Do I talk funny?? What?? What's wrong with me that I can't get a boy to notice me?? It's at times like this when I feel invisible!!
Yesterday I got to thinkin' about this, and it's gotten me bummed. I'm also angry that nobody is taking the time to get to know me, boy wise. I feel I am doing something wrong, and I have absolutely no clue as to what it is!
If anyone could offer me any suggestions, I'm all ears! I would give anything to have a boy to love, especially on a day like Valentine's Day instead of spending it at home, pickin' lint from my bellybutton!!
Thanks for listening to me; I hope you understand why I'm so freakin' bummed today!
Take care and happy Valentine's Day anyway! Personally, I don't need it! It's too much drama for me!!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend, Ronee' Le-Anne. :(