The problem is, I can't forget.  For one thing, I used to work at the Twin Towers.  I was there when the plane, first one, then the other, hit one towers.  Both erupted in a ball of orange fire.  I was there.

If it weren't for me being on break at the moment of impact (I was across the way, getting a bagel and a cup of coffee), I would have been in the tower when the plane hit.  I would have been killed, more than likely, or, at the very least, severely injured.

I remember feeling the sting of debris from the blast hitting me.  When I looked down, my legs were bleeding; that didn't matter, however, as I raced to get away from there, pushing my disabled friend in her wheelchair.  (She worked with me.)  All I cared about at that moment was leaving.  Getting away as far as possible from the fire, the smoke, the horror of it all.

That night, I woke up, sicker than a dog.  I ended up in the hospital, fighting for my life.  Somehow, debris from the explosion had embe dded themselves into my leg; I'd developed a sudden, nasty infection.  I had a very high fever, and I was delirious; I don't remember much after entering the emergency room. 

 I mercifully passed out.

When I awoke later, I discovered I was missing a leg.  My leg had been unsalvagable:  I had developed a life-threatening bacterial infection.  They had to amputate my leg in order to save my life. 

And all because of that damned attack.  That was what started all of this.

It also turned out that I lost 11 of my co-workers, and also my boss.  Twelve people who didn't have to die in the manner they did.  More perished later when the towers buckled, as a result of the direct strikes from both planes. 

The planes had done their job:  foreign terrorists wanted to bring America to her knees, so they attacked with hate and evil on their minds; when the news of the towers falling hit me days later, my heart crashed, too.

It took months for me to get over my injuries.  I'd like to say I got over the memories, but let me ask you something.  How do you forget something like a terrorist attack upon your own country, and you were there to witness it all, in living color?  How do you think someone feels when they were knowingly nearly one of the victims who died?  How do you think I feel when I have lost 11 good friends as well as my employer?

People tell me all the time to "get over it".  Well, that may be all in good, but the truth is, I can't.  I won't.  I shall never "get over it".  I lost people I knew, loved, and cared about in that attack, and I was very near a victim myself.  I still have flashbacks to that day, even eight years later; in fact, last night, I ripped Franklin and Stefan, my son, from a sound sleep with my screams as I awoke from yet another nightmare.

The memories for me are just as fresh as though the attacks only happened yesterday.

Even with all that I have gone through eight years ago (and since), I still carry on as best as I possibly can.  It helps having my husband to guide me, as well as my beautiful son, Stefan, who is seven years old today.

He was born on September 11, 2002, weighing 9 pounds and 11 ounces. 

He is the joy of my life; Stefan is the sunshine on an otherwise somber day; he's the only reason why I can endure the memories.

I will be going to a special memorial service later today at Ground Zero, along with my husband and son and unborn baby.

Yes!!  I'm two months' pregnant!!!!  Stefan will have either a little brother or a litle sister!  I am excited about this, and so is Franklin!  The baby is due in April, 2010.

So I guess my unborn child is going, too; he (or she) really has no choice!  LOL

There will be many tears shed as names, faces are remembered, and we come together in a show of support for our nation, particularly those people who died and their families who will be representing them.  I just pray and hope that we never have to live or go through something like this EVer again.

Once was more than enough.

Well, we have to get ready; we are going to a special church service for the victims, then go out to the park for lunch, then go to Ground Zero for the memorial service. 

Until next time,

~M'Kaya Jefferson

May we never forget!!  God bless those who lost loved ones or friends in the attacks, and may God bless America.

Again.

*tears!*