AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Kalikiano Kalei, iArthur Jackson, iSara Coslett, iJoe Bueno, iLisa Loucks Christenson, iRon Mullinax, iM. R. Mathias, i

  Home > Health/Wellness > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Sponsor Me!
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 7,838 Titles
· 41,508 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Annointed
by S D

My new 'Single' is out and available for purchase..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
Guardian Seductress: Sisters of Emsharra 1
by Gracie McKeever

Alex Ryan discovers he's not who and what he thought he was from a woman who's been watching him his entire life…and who isn't human..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members





Share    Print  Save   Become a Fan


'Some Days Are Better Than Others ....': Living With Bi-Polar Disorder.
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Friday, October 08, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share this with your friends on FaceBook

A woman learns to cope with her illness. She has bi-polar disorder.

Some days I think I am sittin' on top of the world; on others, well, it's all I can do to keep from crying ...

I have bi-polar disorder.  Basically, that means an extreme form of "mood swings" that I cannot control.  Some days, I function quite well, just like any other person, and on others ... whoo-boy!!  I feel so bad, all I want to do is stay in bed or sleep!  Or I cry uncontrollably because I thought about something sad or something rotten that's going on in my life, and I end up throwing myself a pity party.

Again!

I was diagnosed with this problem when I was 17 (I'm now in my thirties).  I thought for a while that I was going crazy because I couldn't control my emotions.  People started flappin' their lips behind my back, calling me crazy or mental, and you can only imagine how that made me feel!  Like a piece of shit, no doubt ...

I started to believe them.  I ended up in the mental hospital more than once; the last time was last year because I tried to slit my wrists.  I wanted nothing more than to die.  I didn't think life was worth living.  Then my shrink (who is a very nice guy) put me on some medications that finally calmed my depressive moods down, and now, as long as I take the meds every day, I can function, just like any other person.

I cannot work (stress doesn't sit well with me); I get a disability (SSDI) check every month.  That's fine, but sometimes I think I am a burden to society, and I would love to work, but the truth is, I can't.  If I stress out really bad, I pull out my hair, bite my lips until they bleed, and physically try to harm myself.  It's really bad.

People sometimes see the self-inflicted bruses on my arms, neck, or face.  I get embarrassed because I know I did this to myself, and I feel like I'm living a double life when I don't tell people the real cause of my injuries.  I would rather wear long sleeves, even in the summer.  I feel I don't have to tell them everything, so I try to keep mum about the whole thing.

Or they see the bald patches on my hair from where I snatched my hair and yanked it out in big clumps.  Somehow this makes me feel better; why, I don't know, but it does.  It's all part of this bi-polar crap that I have to live with every day of my life.

Today is a fairly good day.  Just as long as something doesn't come up to tip the scale and put me over the edge.  Last week, I got a ticket for speeding and now I have to cough up $200 to pay it or else I could go to jail.  There goes a pretty lump sum out of my next SSDI check! Then I am going to have to live on $1,000 and pay my bills; if I have $100 left after that, I'll be doing good.  My fault for speeding; I was late for a doctor's appointment.  He wanted to do a blood test to see how the meds were working.

I don't believe in God so much, but I have been praying like thunder to ask Him to get me outta this jam!

Well, I gotta go, the phone is ringing.  I will write in here again one day; until later, this is S signing off!

*author didn't want to use her real name for this journal piece.


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 10/8/2010
Must be so difficult never being able to predict what kind of a mood someone will be in. Good writing, Karen.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 10/8/2010
An excellent write, Karen, living with bi-polar must be hell. Well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Paul Berube 10/8/2010
Truth in your words, Karen. Well done and God bless.
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 10/8/2010
Bipolar is a scary disorder my step Mom has it, and we never know what moods shes going to be in!!!
In Christs Love
Michelle~


Books by
Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado



with a little help







Preserved to Serve by Claire Power Murphy, HonDL

Banish healthcare and education crises! Read how it has been accomplished!..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Life, Lies, and Sex: A User's Guide to Being in a Body by Mikaya Heart

This is a book about love: how to develop unconditional love every moment of every day, by allowing Universal energy to move through your body...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.