Due to my "coming out of the closet", my own family and just about all the kids at my school hate my guts.  They say that I am going to hell.  Daddy is a preacher and my mom works as a Sunday school teacher at the church they have.  The kids at school all act as if I have full blown AIDS every time I sniffle or cough (I have allergies and asthma really bad).

I used to have friends. Not anymore.  

According to my family and the kids, I'm a loser.  A nobody.  And it doesn't help that I am big for my age.

Okay, fat.

Food is about the only thing that gives me comfort.  I eat to help me feel better.  If I don't eat, I think about the pain and torture that people have inflicted on me.  It is all I can do to keep from wanting to kill myself.

Maybe suicide is the answer: I mean, life has gotta be much better than the shit I have put up with for the past four years!  (I am 17 years old.)

I'm going to be a junior in high school in the fall.  That is, if I live that long.  
If the kids aren't calling me horrible names ("faggot", "plague boy", "spawn of the devil", "fatso", "loser", ad nauseum), they are always threatening to stuff me into a locker or dunk my head in a toilet.

They already give me wedgies or try to grab my privates.

They trip me and throw food and stuff at me:  spit wads, dead bugs and worms, paper, pencils, pens, books, notebooks ... you name it:  if they can get their hands on it, they'll fling the objects at me.

They love it when I cry.  Gives them more ammunition.

I have been spit on, laughed at, pushed, shoved, booed, punched, hit, even puked on.  A day at school without any teasing seems like only a far, distant dream.

I may be gay, but let me make two things clear:  I do NOT have AIDS.  And I have feelings.  If they can't deal with it, they can just kiss my ass!!

~To be continued.~