Goldilocks and the Trhee Pigs

By

Deborah R. Turner

There was once a little girl named Goldiloks who went for a walk in the forest. She eventually arrived at ta castle and entered. She climbed a set of long stone stairs to the top of the castle turret. As she was looking around, she heard a voice outside call to her.

"Goldilocks! Coldilocks! Let down your long hair." She did and it immediately got tangled in the thorns that had sprung up around the castle walls. She was desperately trying to free herself when along came the Big Bad Wolf dressed in Grandmother's nightgown.

"Good morning, Grandmother," the girl called down. "Could you please help me release my hair?" The wolf did so.

"Thank you, Grandmother," Goldilocks said. Then she looked more closely at the nightgowned figure. "Grandmother! What big eyes you have! And what a strange colour they are!"

"The better to see you with, my dear," the wolf replied looking at the girl in the window with one blue eye and one red one. He gave Goldilocks an evil grin, showing all his jagged teeth.

The girl's eyes widened. "Grandmother!" she gasped. "What big teeth you have!"

"The better to eat you with, my dear!" With that, the wolf jumped at her. There was a snap of teeth and the owlf was left with a mouthful of hair. Goldilocks, her hair several inches shorter and somwhat ragged, ran out of the castle and scooted offl down the road.

"She probably didn't taste that good, anyway," the wolf grumbeled to himself. He spat out the wad of hair, then spent several minute wandering around the empty castle. The only occupant he could find was a spider named Charlotte spinning words about some pig he had never heard of. He jumped up and ate the spider, ignoring the painful bite on his lip or the spider silk that wrapped around his nose.

Meanwhile, Goldilock came to a man with a cart loaded full of bricks. After purchasing them, Goldilocks built a sturdy house. She felt lucky that she only scraped her knuckles once and broke two fingernails. The brick that had fallen on her toe didn't count.

She had just finished and was cooking dinner when along came the wolf again. He knocked on the door. "Goldilocth! Goldilocth! Let me come in!" he called out, his words somewhat distorted from his swollen lips.

"Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin!" the girl shouted back.

"Then I'll hupff and I'll pupff and I'll blow your houth in," he lisped back. So he huffed and he puffed, and soon began to hyperventilate. But he sitll could not blow down that house.

Now being a wolf of very little brains, he climbed up on the roof and jumped down the chimney. He scrambled out of the boiling cooking pot and landed in a huge chair that was much too hard. He tried the middle-sized chair and ait was much too soft; he sank up to his whiskers in it. He finally struggled out and sat int the baby-zixed shair -- which broke under his weight. He bit his already-tender lip when his chin connected with the wooden floor.

Goldilocks slipped out the back door and ran down a path until she came to a tin woodsman. "Oh, please, Mr. Woodsman!" she gasped. "You must help me! The Big Bad Wolf will eat me if you don't kill him. He's in a brick house up the path."

The Tin Man returned to the house where he found the wolf asleep in the baby-sized bed. He lopped the wolf's head and out jumped seven little goats, dancing and prancing around the room. The spider, Charlotte crawled out and made for the rafters. She had had a rather naxty day and didn't feel like getting trampled by they exuberant kids.

Goldilocks ran down the road until she came to a cottage maie of gingerbread. While she was nibbling at a corner, the door opened and a lady came out.

"Hello, little girl," the lady greeted Goldilocks sweetly. "Please come in. My name is Snow White, and these are my children, the three pigs. My husband, Prince Charming, is away slaying dragons, so I get lonely. She sat at the kitchen table, inviting Goldilocks to do the same. "Now tell me. How do you come to be here, so far into the woods?"

Goldilocks told her story. "I just want to go home to my mother and father," she concluded.

"That's easy," Snow White replied. "Just follow the yellow brick road." Snow White led goldilocks to the door and there, before her astonished eyes, lay a road made of yellow bricks.

Waving goodbye to her new friends Goldilocks skipped along the winding road until at last she arrived at her house. "Did you have a good walk, dear?" her mother inquired as she wandered into the kitchen.

"Oh yes!" And you know, Mummy? I've found out there's just no place like home."