So there I was; sitting in the parking lot of Whole Foods in South Beach in Miami with cramps so bad all I could do was pray and grit my teeth. I was waiting in my daughter's car with her dog while she ran in to pick up a few items. The wait didn't seem that long until the cramps started. Seconds passed, but I was sure it was hours. No air in there left to relieve the pressure; I had to go!
I knew that the dog really stressed when she was left alone in the car, but I was just a bit more than stressed myself and I began looking for a solution. I waited. What to do? Go in? Stay put? Finally, I couldn't wait another second. I put all the windows down a few inches, pulled the keys and headed for the store. The dog would just have to live with a little stress for five minutes!
My daughter was in the checkout line; the one trait she got from me was always getting into the slowest checkout line; and there she was, right behind the lady with a cart full of unmarked items. It was obvious that it was the first day on the job for the clerk. My daughter rolled her eyes at me as she saw me, whispering she was sorry. I threw the keys at her and asked where the rest room was. I headed for the back of the store where she was pointing. I fully expected a single bathroom with a line ten people long, but I was lucky; three stalls, no waiting.
I quickly sat down and did my business. Ahh. I reached for the toilet tissue and I looked around, startled. Not only was there no toilet paper, there wasn't even a toilet paper holder. New dilemma. I waited a few moments thinking someone would eventually come into the ladies room and I could politely ask her to pass me some tissue. I waited. And waited. Had Whole Foods gone so green that they didn't supply toilet tissue? This was not good.
I started going through my messy purse. What kind of Nana was I, not carrying so much as a single diaper wipe? What could I possibly use? I reached into every compartment in my purse, even taking a candy wrapper into consideration. I found a lovely linen hand-embroidered hanky that once belonged to my mother-in-law, bless her heart, but I wasn't about to sacrifice that. Not as long as I had a candy wrapper. I debated.
I continued to wait impatiently for someone else to come in. Searched my purse again, and there, way down deep in the compartment especially designed to catch lint balls and broken earrings was a solitary wadded-up tissue! Hallelujah! Problem solved (well, not completely, but satisfactory).
On my way out of the ladies room, I met two women going in. Timing is everything.