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The Old
By ♥ Kari Hirshey ♥
Sunday, December 01, 2002
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Summer days were ending, as the smell of falling leaves were in the air. The good times and the bad times faded together to form a sort of mundane existance, knowing that you had to go back to school, anticipating the structure of your days again, and also looking forward to seeing friends you lost touch with again. As I sat, feet swishing in the crystal clear water on the end of a city park dock, I realised that time again went into motion, and the seemingly endless laid-back summer days were about to turn into structured, crunched-for-time school days.
Days later, the reality of school hit harder than expected, although I thought that I had prepered myself for it once again. Even though I had not been looking forward to the reunion of my feet on those trodden hallways, I felt that this year would be somehow different; that Lady Summer had changed me in many ways. In fact, this feeling was a truth, summer had produced more confidence in me, and thus made me more appealing to a passer-by. Of course, this is the same Caroline and always will be, only with different attutide twords herself and the person she is. But this change did not go altogether unnoticed, and sparked much interest in other student's eyes.
Some, for whom before had been known to bad-mouth Caroline and hatch insiduos plans behind her back, had become much more docile around her, but inside still had the same feelings of jealousy inside as always. I, Caroline A. McCouby, just tried to float through school until again I could see the warm sun that was brought by summer. Finally, fall became winter, and winter spring, until the scent of summer was just around the corner; how I wanted it back.
Those same girls were still there, waiting for me to make one false move, to drive me out of my now higher social status. How jealousy can take over one's mind... Well their day was to come.
One day, minding my own business as always, I sat with my friends for the much-needed lunch break. Tests had been killer, and all of us were exausted. Waiting our turn to dump trays, my shoe lace had come undone, so as I bent down to tie it, those girls thought they would be spiteful...
Hot dogs were the school lunch that day, and as many people hold common knowledge, catsup is a common favorite on hotdogs, so immediately the green-eyed ladies executed thier plan. Tim, a slightly clumsy fellow, happened to be right behind me, and he always slopped way too much catsup on his plate, making a pile after he was done with his hot dog. Well, when push came to shove, Tim lost his tray, which happened to find the butt of my pants. Immediatly wet, I bolted upright. But the damage was already done; a red rear was mine. Hustling through the halls, I came to mob after mob of laughing students, as tears rolled down my ivory cheeks. Getting to the bathroom, I dried my eyes to find Melissa, one of the jealous pack, sneering at me openly. The rest of that school year dragged on.
Finally, again! Summer swept the valley full of its rays once again. Once again, the city park was my companion on those hot, muggy days. Diving into the water, a refreshedness that I hadn't felt in months swept my body. Making my cycle over and over again, I would jump in, climb out, and then bask in the sun, only to do it a hundred times more.
One of these cycles was to become very different than before, however... Melissa, yes, the jealous teen, had decided to show my flip into the water up by a back flip. Needless to say, the dock was what her head met before it ever had a chance at the water. Instinctivly, I quickened my strokes, and dove under to find her.
Breaking the surface, I found a crowd lined up to see my heroic deed. Melissa had sustained a concussion and was bleeding heavily, so off to the hospital she was sped. She survided the fall, and it goes without saying that the catsup incident was all but forgotten...
The End. :)
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Site: Karis Poetry
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| Reviewed by Bryan Pellegrino |
6/25/2003 |
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Kari is the best, you are my hero, I wish I could write just like you. Well I guess i'll just hafta become your best friend and hope some talent rubs off, seriously tho, nice story
~ Your new best friend ~
Bryan :) |
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| Reviewed by Clayton Umbach |
2/23/2003 |
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| I thought this story was quite good, despite your inexperience, and it shows you have a great deal of promise. You definitely have talent, a keen eye, a good ear, and the ability to put the words together to make a story with a beginning, a middle and an end. You'd be suprised how many can't. Keep at it. |
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| Reviewed by Kacie Rahm |
1/2/2003 |
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| GOOD STORY LINE, you needed to tie up the lose ends.... |
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| Reviewed by GlenStorm007 |
12/4/2002 |
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| Nice Kari |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
12/4/2002 |
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| i give you a ten for effort. not bad for your first short story! it is hard at first, but it gets easier as you become more comfortable with doing stories! i was in your position once, but god gave me a gift, and i haven't stopped since! keep on writing; you have so much to offer! love, your friend, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) :) (although admirer's review of 9 is NOT too shabby; that is a very good mark for your first short story review; and now you're getting a 10 from me!) *CONGRATS on your first "10"!* |
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| Reviewed by Admirer |
12/2/2002 |
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| not your best... that's for sure, I think that poetry is your knack. Good try though. |
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