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How To Survive A Power Outage While Writing
By Arthur L. Bain
Thursday, July 18, 2002
There you are all comfy at your desk briskly pecking away at the keyboard when suddenly... WHAM! Your screen suddenly goes blank and lifeless, the lamp on your desk blew its wad, your little jimmy cricket night light flickers and dies. Your now all alone in the dark. After muttering a few exclusives you sit quietly listening for sounds. You want to get up and check the window but fear sets in as the thought of " Michael Myers " crosses into your subconciousness. You try to scream but the lump in your throat forbids it.
Tears stream from your eyes uncontrollably as you can only think of the horrific things that only Michael is capable of doing to you. Your mind races while reaching for that small pin light you keep in the desk drawer. "OH NO!", it's not there.
Panic has set in, you have now become a liabilty to the human race. Stricken with the fear of a horrible death, you glance at the window. Was that a shadow? While glaring at the window the shadow appears again, the lump in your throat is three times the size it was a couple of minutes ago. Screaming is out of the equation. Your fear factor has reached level two.
Dropping to the floor you crawl to the fartherest wall opposite the window. Etching your way to the nearest door you make your way into the next room where you grope the night stand for the pinlight. Still nothing. You crawl to the closet careful not to make any noise while opening the door. Once inside you wipe the everstreaming flood of tears from your face.
Clutching the camping pack, you unzip the sidepocket to retrieve your pinlight....it's there! You manage to exert a small laugh through the lump in your throat. With the pinlight now on, it's time to check your surroundings. Many life saving tools were in the closet, but your favorite tool of choice was the aluminum ball bat. There's some heavy duty duct-tape in the pack. You use this to secure the pinlight to the end of the ball bat. WooHoo!
With renewed strength and your make shift lightsaber, you make your way out the bedroom door slowly. A small voice inside you says, "Luke, use the force", you grip the lightsaber with both hands and hold the weapon before you. The light from your new saber danced on the walls. Your stomach was a mess though from all the stress, the crying, the shadows, etc. Your fear factor decreases back to level one.
You check the room where your computer sits lifeless. The light from your saber falls onto your jimmy crickett night light that has been blown. "Oh man not jimmy!", you exclaim to yourself. Ok that does it, now your mad.
Storming out of the room you head for the front door to confront Michael. You know no fear now for your fear factor level is zero. Michael better watchout! You sling the front door open and rush out swinging your lightsaber with mad precision. It becomes a blurr in the night air. [Your father would be proud] Your swinging so hard it even sounds like a light saber from star wars. Never has anyone seen such skill. You twirled the saber with ease. All about you there was a mystical glow. The force was definately with you tonight.
Your now screaming at the top of your lungs, "Come Get Some! I'll Show You Who Your Daddy Is! Come On Out!" From all the excitement you didn't notice the street lights being on and the neighbors across the street were in tears from laughing so hard.
You stop swinging when you realize all your neighbors lights are still on. Puzzled and still very upset, you yell over to the neighbors " What! " They composed themselves long enough to say " Your power get shut off again?!" and then they resumed to laugh even harder.
Of all the embarrassing things you've done this is the worst. You had forgotten to pay the electric bill. It wouldn't have been so bad, but this was the second time within the year that you had done the Luke Skywalker thing in front of your neighbors.
Embarrassment level reaches an all time high. Crying you look back at the house shaking your makeshift saber. You trudge back inside hanging your head. The glow of the force has left you. The darksides force is strong and surrounds you as you walk into the house. The light of your saber seems weaker now. It starts to flutter and lose it's lifeforce. Here nothing seems to have life anymore. Being on the darkside isn't fun. It's a lonely feeling.
You decide to sleep it off and hope that everyone forgets tommorrow. But you know deep down inside that the whole neighborhood will know by morning. As you crawl into bed, your last thought before drifting off to sleep was the hope of your neighbor not having prepared for this by keeping his video camera handy since your last escapade.
The moral of this story is: Always pay your electric bill on time. If you don't be sure to install some shakles inside your closet so you can lock yourself up next time the power is shut off. Trust me, it'll help keep the evil forces at bay.
copyright©2002 All rights reserved. Arthur L. Bain
Site: The Little Dragon
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|Reviewed by Arthur Bain
|Just to let my readers know....the shadow in the window was a meter employee from the electric company pulling your meter.|