Join Free! | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Cindy Ziperman, iDavid Page, iPia Shannon, iKeith Dyne, iAntoine Raphael, iandrea coltman, iPaul Kyriazi, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Jack Kuperman

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Messages
· 141 Titles
· 204 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Nov, 2008

Jack Kuperman, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Righteous Revenge
by Beverly Scott

Manipulation, mayhem and murder make Righteous Revenge a mystery with a twist...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
Sweet Revenge
by Jennifer Miller

Available Now! Rated 5 ***** by readers and listeners. Sweet Revenge is a romantic tale of a spirited woman and a lusty bloke. However, can they both fight again..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Share    Print  Save   Become a Fan

How to prepare scrambled eggs (2).
By Jack Kuperman
Friday, March 06, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share this with your friends on FaceBook

The lesson number 2

/ This is teacher's monologue./

Hi, what is your name?
Do not be angry with me.

All right. I will teach you and will go.
No socializing.
So, do you have some balls?
Sorry, meant eggs - I just thought about your neighbor and…

Please, stop it. I won't speak about her anymore.
Yes I promise.
Well, that the only promise I know.

So, take out your, hmm, eggs and wash them.
I see you have a normal glass.
So, take a knife in your right hand.
An egg in your left.

Try it once more.

Didn't I tell you that eggs don't know to fly?
Well, this one will never have a possibility to learn it.
Clean the floor please.
I do not know how.
Who is the man in this house?
Your wife? Just for this?
And for eggs?
Well, do the most you can.

Is it clean now? Super.
You said it was clean, and I believed you.
Now take me up from the floor.

I will clean it by myself.
I thought that you know that wet eggs try to run away, so put the knife down.
And take it with both your hands.
Run After it!

Please clean it better this time.

Now, put those forks around the egg.
They will stop it.
Nope. They didn't.

Clean it quicker or we won't prepare scrambled eggs today.

I know what to do.
Take this kitchen glove.
Now catch it!

Sorry, I shouted.
Sorry, you squashed the egg.
Sorry your trousers got yellow.
Put this glove aside. You will wash it later.
Take another.

Now, gently. Gently. Gently!

I said be g-e-e-entle.
I thought men like you know how to be gentle.
Now, clean this mess and go wash those gloves.
Or don't. They will be wet and will not help you anyway.

What? You are going to borrow some more eggs?
I'll wait. What can I do? (I am used to pay for mistake of others.)
I am not mumbling. Go! Go! (Go to that neighbor of yours.)
No, I did not say anything.
She hasn't any more?
Try somebody else, maybe?
Goody. Seven more.
Now, let us do it better this time.
Don't wash, just put a wet paper towel to it.

Not to all at once!

Take those three whole eggs and wash them.
No, you cannot clean them with wet paper towel.
It is too disgusting.

So, live those washed in the sink.

Now catch them!
Once more!
Yes you can!
I will help.

I did not mean to push you.

I get one!!

I don't get one.
It ran that way.

Try once more.

Or no!! Don't use a hammer on them!

Yes, you are right, now they do not slide away.
Now they drip with insides. How disgusting!
Go and bring more eggs.

I did not know that you have only two neighbors.
Well, then, maybe tomorrow?
At what hour?
I will come.


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Georg Mateos 3/7/2009
Well, that's not news to anyone, the man wears the pants but it is the wife who's the boss.
Scrambled eggs, hummm, didn't knew it was so difficult or ain't?
Then again, talking to himself can be good, no arguments, and it can led to a comfortable padded room.
Nice done.


Oh Zaperetta! the hilarious trilogy by Albert Russo

THE LITERARY REVIEW “... Be warned, Zapinette's gems of insouciant wit tend to become infectious. This wise-child's deceptively worldly innocence takes the entire gamut ..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Idiots and Children by Diana Estill

Family and observational humor from award-winning author Diana Estill...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.