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Jack Kuperman

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The keyboard case.
By Jack Kuperman
Friday, April 17, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

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It's my first story in crime genre. What do you think?

"Well, what do we have here?"

"Female. Found in the bushes in the Central park."

"Who will help me?"

"Didn't you hear? Students came today."

"Let it be. I want them near the walls, I don't need any interference."

"Of course."

"Let's start. Scalpel!" (He looked on the students and saw that they begin resemble green walls of the room.)

"Now the saw." (Saaawwing all the way from the groin up to the chin, he puffed the smoke from the cigarette, took it out with his left hand, and threw it on the floor.) "Let's open (he heard the sound of falling bodies but didn't turn) with both hands."

"Somebody wants to help?" (more falling). "I guess not."

"Let's see what we have in the stomach. Ouh, I'm sorry that it sprayed on you. Go wash the stomach acid so that it won't make the hole." (4, no 6, no wait, 11 less were standing near the wall.)

"Somebody can say, what we see here? What was the reason of the death?"

The last standing student came slowly near him and looked inside the stomach.


"I see here a lot of coffee, half hamburger and, what is THAT?"

"Keys. On this is letter F and on this is S. What do you make of this?"

"Keyboard keys? Who will eat it? Why?"

"Look, near the woman they found the rest of the keyboard. And sure, those two keys are missing. What do you make from this?"

"She accuses the murderer?"

"It's seems like that."

"But how can you find who is F.S.? It could be so many people."

"As the matter of fact, very simple. We will read her letter," (and he took out the paper from the woman's coat. It wasn't a letter but a computer print.)

"Let's see:
--Dear Funny Horse, I am a young lady of 32. I have blond hair and I am very beautiful. Enter. --
--Dear Young Doe, I love your looks. I myself look very beautiful too. I am 34 and all the girls say that I am the most beautiful guy in the neighborhood. We should meet. Enter. --
--Dear Big Horse, you are so lovely. Let us meet today in two hours in the park near the third bench. I will have a keyboard in my left hand. Enter. --
--Dear Young Doe, I will have the keyboard in my right hand. Enter. --


"Yes sir?"

"Was there anybody in the park with a keyboard?"

"Yes sir."

"In the right hand?"

"I am not sure, sir. Shall I check?"

"No. How did he look like?"

"An old crooked man of about five feet height, totally bald."

"Well. I know what happened.


"They decided to meet. The women saw the man first. She thought that 'Funny Horse' is a young beautiful guy, but she saw an old crooked man."

"But then why she ate letter F and S instead of F and H as for Funny Horse?"

"Oh, She didn't mean to show us who the killer was. She just didn't want him to see her. She wanted it to remain a secret. But if she would stay with the keyboard, he would find her. So, she did the only thing that she thought would help her. He decided to eat keys."

"But the man would see the board."

?Look, were you a geek, what would be more important for you: keyboard or keys?"

"Isn't it the same?"

"Try to think like a geek. You have a black keyboard or white, metal or plastic, flexible, round. There are many forms to them, but the keys themselves, they don't change. You can even have a virtual keyboard, but keys there will be the same. Geeks don't pay attention to the board, they see only keys."

"I guess."

"So, from her coffee stained teeth, red eyes with geeky spectacles, her fingertips with warts, you can easily deduce that she was a geek."

"Well, I couldn't."

"Then you could learn it from her visiting card," and he showed card he previously took from woman's purse. "Either way, she was a geek, so for her the keys were the most important thing. She just forgot about the board."

"But then, what have killed her?"

"Do you really believe that eating two keys won't kill a woman of age over 90?"

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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 4/18/2009
That last punch line made all worth to read. Great!


Reviewed by Felix Perry 4/17/2009
One of your better writes, kept me interested and this could be a whole new it.


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