Small excerpt from upcoming book entitled Rules I Live By
Bitch. No she didn’t. She see I been standing in this line with these damn stilettos on. She got her nerve to be turning her nose up at me. She just mad because she is shaped like Sponge Bob square pants and obviously broke because she is in line to withdraw $10.00 and here it is only 9a.m. Birth control Lil mama. You gotts be more careful. On top of all that she is still wearing her pajamas. All of those things hint to me she’s broke as hell. These are my private thoughts as i stood in line at the line at the bank. I live in a high end gated community with no kids and no job and a luxury vehicle. I don’t have anything to be mad about so I’m not. Which leads me into Rule #1. Always smile and appear inviting. It eases other people. They never realize they are the prey until they have handed over the goods and you have ssashayed away. So even though I am tired and want to tell this Bitch a thing or two. If it ain’t about money it ain’t about Shit.
I conduct a tally of my earnings everyday. 5 out of seven days I visit the bank on my way home from the night before. The tellers at the counter don’t even ask for i.d. anymore. That means tired or not I’m standing in line to transfer funds or deposit money gifted from one of my Foolios. Yes I said Foolios. Let’s stop to make note of Rule #2. This is work it’s not about finding a man getting married and living happily ever after. I don’t call guys by their real name. It’s too risky and way too personal. I assign nicknames that usually describe them and their purpose. Just a small tactic I use to keep me focused. Don’t worry I don’t use the nickname when speaking to them. I often don’t address them by name at all. In sales when you use a person’s name it makes them feel important. Which is exactly why I don’t. I’m selling Faith and Hope packaged in designer clothes and caramel skin. Sometimes life will shade the truth just like these four hundred dollar Gucci shades that I’m wearing. I didn’t pay for these either.
Let me explain to you the concept that helps me establish all my Rules. Capitalism. I’ve learned that the only thing guys think they need women for is sex. This is America. Supply and demand and exclusivity make this country rich. When the supply is low and demand is high so is the price. When what your selling is a limited edition the price goes up even more. The VIP at any event is at a higher price and people pay it just because they know everyone can’t. The world is filled with women with low self esteem. A woman who knows the value of her soft touch her loving voice and the warmth of her vagina is a Bad Bitch who will never be broke. Don’t be a fool and believe that what you giving him ain’t worth shit. He is going to tell you that women come a dime a dozen. He is lying and that is why Rule#3 is never to be forgotten. Make him pay what he weigh and I promise you he will respect the game. He is either going to get with the program or move around. I never missed a broke cheap guy when he was gone. I don’t know about you but I need money to live. Dick don’t drip gold last time I checked. Nobody stands in line outside a store and offers to pay top dollar to get something that’s always free. Nobody brags and boasts about the tramp who gave it up for free and still calls begging for light bill money. Let’s be for real. If she would have approached the situation correct she would have all her bills paid and left with her pussy untouched. He played you baby girl. A hard head make a soft ass. Love don’t live here anymore. I do.
Just as i pulled my red CLK550 into my garage my red phone rings. I’m so tired. I haven’t been home much less gotten any sleep since the afternoon before so it’s no surprise that I have an attitude. Never mind that. Duty calls. It’s 8:45 a.m. and my worker bee is calling on his way to work like he does Monday through Friday. He calls everyday just to say good morning. How lame. I put my attitude to the side and get to work. I’m never off the clock and that is why I am successful. Rule#4. Everything I do is to make more money. The way I dress, lotion I wear, hairstyle, where I shop, car I drive, way I walk, where I workout, why I workout. Focus. I put in work everyday whether I’m banked up or doing bad. Rainy days always come. For some strange reason people won’t give a homeless beggar 1 dollar but will give a rich person all they have just to make an impression. Funny.
Hey hardest working man I know. I say in a sexy and exciting tone. Good morning. That is all he can manage to say. His personality is dry as an old woman’s pussy. I can hear the excitement is his voice. He likes that I answer for him and talk sweet to him I am the only exciting thing in his life. It’s sad it really is. I stay inside the car because I don’t want to bother explaining where I’m coming from. I am definitely not going to tell him that I am just getting home from being out all night. No he wouldn’t like that. Especially since he thinks I am his little Angel. I told him I work sixteen hour shifts as a nurse at a local hospital. So he believes I am so tired when I get home from work and so I’m excused from long phone conversations. I agreed to answer in the mornings just for him. He feels special. He should. It seems to be enough for him so I don’t give any extra. Rule #5. Don’t let me sneak it by you. Pay attention. Create ambiance and status for yourself. Don’t give anymore than what is paid for. No extra incentive to maybe pay more later, no discounts or free bees. Never got anything free from Tiffany’s and its still my favorite shop. He can’t afford to pay for anymore time from me. Besides, he is thirty something, extra lame and twenty pounds overweight. This goof troop couldn’t get a girl like me if he won a game show. I make him feel good. Allow him to believe that one day he could have the chance to be with me. It’s a joke we both know. But for now worker bee I’m going to hit you over the head for two thousand dollars per payable every two weeks. I only accept cash and deposits to my pay pal account for my long distance Foolios. Not bad since I have only seen him once since we met four months ago. I only give him ten to fifteen minutes per day over the phone. I prefer long distance foolios. I don’t have to see them often. I can be free to go anywhere and not bump into them and I take vacations frequently. The funniest most ironic rule of them all is Rule #5. I will never fuck this guy. Maybe a kiss on the cheek if I’ve had too much to drink. Hope and Faith is what I’m selling. Why give up sex to a guy that is paying for conversation. Unless you are intrigued by the fabulous life of a prostitute baby keep your lips closed. Both Sets. Men like to be teased. Sex sells all day but at a cheap price with life long consequences. Violence, Rape, Disease, Pregnancy and most of all Damage to product. Don’t confuse and degrade yourself. Love yourself those guys don’t love you Mami. They wanna fuck you. Don’t be sad love will come. For now learn these Rules I Live By and get your money.
My philosophy is that men only want what they can’t have. Adam fell for the forbidden fruit in a garden full of fruit he could have anytime he wanted. So as long as I never give in Foolios have two choices. They can give up and charge it to the game or go broke trying to get me and keep me. Most men are stubborn they will go broke first. That is exactly what I am counting on.