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| Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci |
5/10/2012 |
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Personally, I like your style of writing. It's not tangled up with a bunch of much mish mosh that just gets in thw way of the reading!!
What if she was an "un-dead", and she and Father Fabian found each other again? Oh, me and my imagination!!!!
Thank you for the fine story!
Jane |
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| Reviewed by Marie Wadsworth |
2/10/2012 |
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I found this story to be very intriquing and compelling. It has a lot of potential. I was interested in it as a story for my GED students to practice their reading. (It will be serving in that purpose.) I'm Catholic and that drew me to this story. You touch on a problem the Catholic Church has had with inappropriate relationships with its parishioners. I knew a priest in our parish who accused of an inappropriate relationship with a youngster and he was forced to retire. I later found out the accusation was false and made in anger. I wasn't angry or annoyed by the fact that Fr. Fabian was rumored to have inappropriate relationships with youth. The way you presented it was an accusation that was being investigated. I liked the factual approach that's why this particular issue didn't bother me so much.
I was curious why you chose this particular story. How did you know about it? The way you tell it is as if you were an investigting detective or a reporter reporting on the crime. Were you a detective or a reporter? I felt like you knew these people personally. Did you?
This story has a lot of potential and I don't mean to criticize; I do want to encourage. This has a James Patterson or Patricia Cromwell feel to it. Yes, it's based on fact but they take it and it's a case where someone can make a story or novel out of it. I wondered why you didn't. You had me interested and then you just left the readers wondering what happened at the end. Why? I know that the case is open and that was the way the incident was written in the police report. And so? You spent a lot of time on it and you were so knowledgeable that I would have -- and other readers too -- would have bought any story you written it. You could have written an ending and I and other readers would have believed it, even if it wasn't true. If it had been a solved case and you gave an ending as long as it was realistic, I and other readers would have believed it and enjoyed it. I don't think you would have gone unrealistic with your choice of ending (unrealistic in aliens were responsible) because you had established your narrator as knowledgeable and credible source. Since you left it as an open-ended story, I thought about coming up with an ending but it was your story and I think you should finish it. I'm going to give my students an assignment to write an ending to your story.
I was disturbed by your criticism of yourself in the story. I know my opinion doesn't count for much but as I've said it has real potential. You could add some more details from the narrator and other material if you wanted to make it a novel or in the short story too.
This story has real potential and I think it could be a best-selling story. I encourage you to re-explore it. If you ever get it published, I want a signed copy.
I'll let you know what my students' responses are to the story. Remember what they say have to be taken with a grain of salt.
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| Reviewed by Morgan McFinn |
1/30/2012 |
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A compelling and most intriguing story, Regis. Nothing to criticize about it. Although, I'm with those who wish it had gone on longer. If a true story, please update us when the mystery is solved.
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| Reviewed by J Howard |
11/18/2011 |
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| a favorite read...i love a good suspenseful story, conning me to walk the walk all the way thru. good read. |
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| Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo |
7/28/2011 |
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| Is this based on a true story or all fiction? Interesting piece of writing. |
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| Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat |
2/17/2011 |
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Reg,
Critize it!! You had be riveted from beginning to end. No, not criticized put applauded. This is one of the best 'unfinished' stories I've ever read, if not the best. Hugs.
Mary |
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| Reviewed by Steve Groll |
11/9/2010 |
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| That was one of the best stories I have read on AD so far. It kept my interest and enjoyed it. |
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| Reviewed by Darkest Angel |
3/29/2010 |
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| A very well told story, and it is mysterious, as well. Unfortunately, the nosy, Mrs. Flannagan, didn't keep up with the story very well, after all. Shucks! Thank you for the story--it's good. |
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| Reviewed by Donna Chandler |
2/26/2010 |
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| I enjoy a good mystery and this most certainly is a good mystery ... extremely well written. |
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| Reviewed by Debi Fairchild |
10/31/2009 |
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| This is really an awesome story. It kept me hanging all the way through. And I loved the poetry the girl wrote in the story. |
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| Reviewed by Anne Marie La Porte |
2/17/2009 |
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This is a very unassuming piece. You write as if you are actually speaking to the reader which is a skill to possess. I usually opt to write in the third person as I find it hard to write in first person and make it sound the way you do.
The ending is left wide open and there are so many questions dancing through my mind. That is a sign of good story telling when the story ends and you want more:) |
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| Reviewed by Melissa Mendelson |
12/14/2008 |
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| As always, I am far from disappointed when I sit down to read the incredible storytelling dancing across the screen, and eagerly I scroll down to read more and more until I reach its end. And then I am left in wonder and in thoughts, and it is writing such as this that I truly enjoy because it keeps my mind working. :) |
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| Reviewed by Hatshepsut Maatkare |
10/25/2008 |
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Ooooh....I loved this story! It was eerie and suspenseful, and left me wishing there was a Part 2.
:) |
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| Reviewed by Mary Coe |
12/19/2007 |
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| A very good write. This was very interesting reading. |
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| Reviewed by Sheila Roy |
11/16/2007 |
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| Wow! Quite the mysterious ending, Reg. Love how the voice in this story tells it like it is. The second poem in this is especially creative and moving. I think combining poetry and storytelling is like mixing peanut butter & chocolate...oh so good & natural. The two fit together perfectly, especially in a story like this. Poetry left behind is the ideal way for the deceased to have one last word. Just like in my "Remember the Sun", as you said. (My second part also has a poem in it, but it's the exact poem I wrote for the grieving mother I mention in my comments. Will post soon.) What better way to showcase well-rounded talent? That's what I see here...well-rounded talent! I enjoyed this story with the suspenseful ending! You left it open for a second part with new twists and turns, should you ever choose.... Hugs:) Sheila |
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| Reviewed by David Perry |
9/4/2007 |
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| I loved this as much or more than I love all of you work, which is a lot. So many questions... |
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| Reviewed by Riley :) |
12/10/2006 |
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| geez! you are such a good writer!!!! i know the ending left me hanging and i willl not critize for it because that is how it ends. I love your stories. |
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| Reviewed by Delia Latham |
11/25/2006 |
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| Ahhh, Regis ... excellent storytelling! Wouldn't this one be fun to turn into a novel? With your talents, it would certainly be a #1 bestseller! |
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| Reviewed by Rhonda Galizia |
11/11/2006 |
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I LOVE YOUR STYLE OF STORY-TELLING, REG! TO ME, IT IS PERFECTION!
And what a riveting story you have told! You rank right up there with the Ellery Queen Mysteries - and that was a collaboration of 3 minds!!!
You are so gifted, Reg..I really hope you give us a continuing saga, in the files of Father Fabian & Allie!!
You deserve an award for this. I'm in great admiration
Love&Hugs, Rhonda....I'll forward it to Jason; he'll love it! |
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| Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan |
11/11/2006 |
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| good story-i enjoyed reading it |
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| Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks |
11/10/2006 |
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Reg - WOW! There is certainly nothing to criticize in this story! Captivating from the very beginning. I am fascinated by the "inconclusive" ending, leaving your readers to visualize their imagined closure. So many scenarios pop into my head!
Uhmmm...if ever more evidence comes about, or even some gossip, you will surely give us more of this amazing tale, yes? YES!
Micke
(had missed earlier when my 'puter was down, but sure glad I found it now!) |
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| Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg |
11/8/2006 |
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| wow...this held my attention all the way (great story telling) and then leaves the reader with their own imagination to conclude...i think its great |
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| Reviewed by Richard Hiebner |
10/29/2006 |
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Wow man, what a tale.
So much to imagine, so much to assume.
The style is perfect for drawing the audience in and creating a expectant atmosphere. I so want to know what happened to the priest and the body, yet been a story that is true it will be to me one of those to be thought over and mayhaps come up with a end for myself. |
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| Reviewed by Joyce Devenish |
10/23/2006 |
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Hi Reg,
No! I certainly don't want to criticize. And I'm sure no one else could. I am an emotional kind of person so now I get a good cry.
God Bless Joyce |
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| Reviewed by Daring Sunshine |
10/19/2006 |
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Spellbound, thinking what's happening next; tension; emotion - wonderful write; as Alexandra said; it was be good to have a chapter 2. You have my vote.
Peace&Grace,
Sharon |
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| Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson |
9/18/2006 |
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| What a fabulous spellbinding story. Excellent ! Who ever doesn't appreciate your work , sadly has something missing !!!! M |
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| Reviewed by Alexandra Riera |
4/11/2006 |
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| This story was absolutely brilliant, pity it finished so quickly! I wouldn't mind reading a chapter 2 at all.. in fact I would love that! |
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| Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher |
12/13/2005 |
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Your story-telling is excellent, any critics probably are either blind or, well, who would listen to them after your work reading anyway? But, it would be cool if there was a sequence...even though it is kind of good too, if your thoughts wonder off at the end of a story...
Birgit and Roger |
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| Reviewed by Sandra Mushi |
11/4/2005 |
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No! No! No! This can not be the ending, Regis! Go back to St. Elmo and dig some more. Lol. This is such a fantastic write, Regis!! Intriguing!
God bless,
Sandie. |
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| Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G |
8/18/2005 |
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| I think YOu my man left ALOT to the imagination~! :) YOu wrote this, you dreamtp this up- I know *( well, I really don't know) but, common- you didn't read this somewhere,and decide to write it- in your word and feelings of your heart - right Regi... Yea, keep me guessing.. I have to say- this is enthralling, kept me in suspense to th e very END- I liked this guesome - spooky- suspenseful -gorilitic story! YOU have a way with words and thoughts- Poetry and novel writing.... Go 4 it..Regi... I am Proud to call you my friend..a nd I want a book-- Let me know when their in print, I'll buy 1 or 2 or 3.. have to start a new book shelf but... Oh well- reading to be read- and enjoyed and savored- I could never even -think- of critisizing you and for what- for being creative and ending a story on your terms... It's yours to end where you feel fit....... I'm keeping this 1 too---- I'm floooooooooored- my mouth has dropped and I can barely type another word- what a story REgi- or article- and piece of info- found only by you-WArmly,Sheee Have a peaceful and restful night ahead-Sweet DReamzzzzzzzzz.... |
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| Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater |
8/7/2005 |
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Regis,
I live in the mountains and just a few acres away from me is the Trinity Ranch. It is a place where monks come to meditate, a Catholic Diocese mountain retreat. I see them in white tunics cavorting about and I always have my cassette tape in playing Gregorian and Byzantine chants. I love these monastery chants.
Father Fabian is one of the monks here ... just thought you would like to know where he is hanging out these days. This is an excellent story that comes from within the realms of ghostly religion. Good work, Regis!
Sage |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
7/6/2005 |
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excellent story, regis; very well done! bravo!
(((HUGS))) and much love, ton ami a texas, karen lynn. :D |
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| Reviewed by Joyce Hale |
5/22/2005 |
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Excellent mystery, Regis!!! I am *into* short stories of mystery and fantasy, and I must say your tale about Father Fabian and Allie are among the best I've read. I very much enjoyed the poetry woven into it - it placed your story among the best!
Peace. |
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| Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain |
3/29/2005 |
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Regis,
In a word - brilliant!! Thanks for this amazing write my friend!!
Blessings,
Robert |
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| Reviewed by Patrick McCormick |
3/25/2005 |
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Regis,
This was a fantastic read. I wanted it to continue to conclusion, but perhaps one day there will be closure. How often we ignore how sensitive some quiet young girls can be. You certainly seem to have been attuned to it here.
Pat |
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| Reviewed by Koty Lapid |
2/22/2005 |
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| I loved the introduction and the end of this story very much... a real story-telling piece... and of course I liked the middle of the story also... and I have the hope that one day I will know the end of the middle... |
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| Reviewed by Huda Orfali |
12/17/2004 |
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Very intriguing. I'm very curious to know the ending. I love your style, Regis.
Love & Peace |
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| Reviewed by Shirley Cheng |
9/4/2004 |
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| Is this really nonfiction? This is very intriguing, and there's nothing wrong with your writing style. I fully enjoyed it. |
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| Reviewed by Sarah Tagert |
8/30/2004 |
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| well done on this marvelous write!!! |
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| Reviewed by Tami Ryan |
8/4/2004 |
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| I think the poetry interludes were key in this story. Well told, Regis. Thanks for this offering. |
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| Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore |
7/28/2004 |
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| um, did you make this up? lol sorry for asking the obvious, but this story was astounding! i've read your stories, your poetry over the past couple years, but never anything like this, regis. i liked it, and hated the ending! i want to know what happened! man. good write, god write indeed! |
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| Reviewed by Joni Latham |
4/5/2004 |
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The perfect short story. Keep 'em guessing.
Very spooky though. Reminds me of the guy who kept his wife's corpse around the house. Whenever they would bury her, he'd go dig her up again. |
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| Reviewed by Nickolaus Pacione |
2/24/2004 |
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| Nice use of poetic interludes. I do write in mystery but there is more Horror involved with it. thank you for the review on the epic. The Poetry in the story seems to be the driving force behind this one. It really carried the story. |
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| Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson |
2/19/2004 |
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i am not much of a mystery reader, but i did enjoy this
got my imagination going...i mean maybe she wasn't really dead
maybe her and the father had a thing going and he injected her with something, later her got her out in enough time to come back.... maybe they are on a beach somewhere enjoying each others company...maybe he saw her true beauty...ok ok ok but you get my point
i enjoyed this :) |
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| Reviewed by Susan Sparks |
2/7/2004 |
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| I enjoyed this; it was clear and easy to read and is a true mystery in every sense of the word. Obviously you're used to criticism--I like the fact that you have invited it. Must have thick skin. |
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| Reviewed by Graham Donnachaidh |
1/26/2004 |
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Hello Regis....
Is there no more of this ??
I found it a great quick read....but I want there to be more...
or is this all there is...I loved it...
Graham |
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| Reviewed by Stephanie Sawyer |
1/24/2004 |
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I'm so glad there's another writer among us who is not afraid of tackling issues in the church. This one may not be as direct as mine get regarding issues on community, but nevertheless, it grabs the readers attention point-blank from the beginning and holds it mercilessly through to the end. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Stephanie S. Sawyer see "Fool That I Am" and "The Church's Closed Door" |
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| Reviewed by m j hollingshead |
1/8/2004 |
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| i like this |
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| Reviewed by Valerie Roeske |
1/2/2004 |
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| Regis, glad you shared this, hope one day the truth will be found, if this is a true story, keep up the great write's, you have much to offer this world, take care Val |
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| Reviewed by P. Michaels |
11/10/2003 |
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Regis,
I'll place my stamp of approval on it, too. Excellent! |
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| Reviewed by Regina Pounds |
11/7/2003 |
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Smooth writing, clear, concise..fascinating story...beginning drew me in..nothing jarred.
Regis, obviously you have experienced the bite of non-constructive critics. Send them over to my den to read my article about critiquing. (I didn't come here to plug my own work. This just seems appropriate. I detest harmful critics)
You write well. Never doubt it.
As for this story...one can imagine the ending. Good material.
Gina |
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| Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick |
11/4/2003 |
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| First draft? It seems rather polished writing to me. More? |
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| Reviewed by Tinka Boukes |
11/1/2003 |
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Most fascinating write Regis!!
I will never criticize this!!
Love Tinka |
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| Reviewed by Kate Clifford |
10/31/2003 |
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| Criticize? never. Enjoyed? Definitely. You told what needed to be told and the whole story is understood. If you ever learn of more being added I hope you write about it! Great write for Halloween Night. |
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| Reviewed by Mr. Ed |
10/31/2003 |
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| I would not criticize this, Regis! I found it fascinating. But this cannot be the end? Or can it? |
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