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Donna Hale Chandler

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DONNAíS DOíS & DONíTS
By Donna Hale Chandler
Thursday, June 30, 2011

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Some of these are original. Some were handed down to me from my mother and some I ran across in other places and liked them. I hope to include a few new ones in each new book that I publish.

 

1.   A kiss is required after each ‘I love you.’
2.   The 5 second rule states that if a treat (cookies, etc.)
        falls on the floor, as long as you get it picked up 
      within 5 seconds, it hasn’t gathered any germs and  
        can be eaten.
3.   Calories fall out of broken cookies/cakes/pies/etc.
4.   Any baked goods on the Sale Rack have lost their
      calories.
5.   Birthday cakes absolutely do NOT contain calories.
6.   When a couple is walking, the man should walk
        closest  to the street, or any perceived danger.
7.   Do NOT talk to someone when they are in the
      bathroom.
8.   Always be on time. If you’re going to be late, STAY
      HOME.
9.   We only have so many heartbeats, don’t waste
       them on exercise.
10. Do not go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.
11. Don’t stand around with your mouth open, you’ll 
       catch flies.
12  Ladies first, ALWAYS

13.  In a disagreement, the female is ALWAYS right.

14.  It’s ok to eat chocolate cake with milk for breakfast.

15. Be happy.

16. Count your blessings.

17. Laugh every day.

18. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

19. Don’t talk to me through a closed bathroom door.

20. One sneeze means someone misses you.

21. Two sneezes in a row means someone is talking

       about you.

22.  Three sneezes in a row mean you’ve got a cold.     

        Stay away from me.

23.  The man gets the last bite of leftovers.

24.  The woman gets the last word.

25.  You pay for your raisin’ when you raise your own.

26.  Always kiss your sweetheart hello and good-bye.

27.  A good kiss should last at least 10 seconds.

28.  If your palm itches, it means money is coming your

       way.

29.  If the bottom of your foot itches, it means that you’ll

       soon be walking on new ground.

30.  Don’t call me Honey/Sweetheart/Darling unless you

       ARE my honey/sweetheart/darling.

31.  If you know me well and are close to my age, I have a

        first name, Donna.

32.  If you don’t know me or if you’re a young whipper   

       snapper, I am Ms. Chandler or perhaps Ms. Donna.

33.  Friends of my children please do not call me ‘mom’. 

        I’m not YOUR mom (and in a few cases, ‘Thank     

       goodness!’)

34.  If your nose itches, you’re going to kiss a fool. 

35.  Sing every day, even if you scare away your beloved

        pets. They’ll return when they’re sure no one is in 

        pain.

36.  Be tolerant of others but don’t be a door-mat.

37.  If you just can’t figure it out, read the directions.

38.  Never discuss religion or politics with those you

        don’t know REALLY well.

39.  You can’t argue with the truth.

40.  No matter what your age, your ‘date’ does NOT sit

       and wait in the car for you to come out.  And honking

        the horn to hurry up could possibly be a hanging 

       offense.

41.  Don’t forget to say please and thank you EVER.

42.  If you appreciate someone/something or a gift/favor,

        SAY SO.

43.  You catch more bees with honey. 

44.  If honey doesn’t work, remember the squeaky wheel

       gets the grease.

45.  Prayers ARE answered and miracles DO happen.

46.  Never relay bad news via the telephone/email or 

       text. Bad news needs to be delivered face to face so

       you can offer your shoulder to cry on.

47   ALL jobs are important.

48.  Never ever use a condescending tone of voice.

49.  When you marry, you are no longer ‘I’, you become

       ‘we’.

50.  Baseball caps should be removed indoors,     

       ESPECIALLY at the dinner table.

 

Note:  One of the ‘Dos and Don’ts’ is mentioned twice and it is my GREATEST pet peeve.  Did you spot it?  Do you know which one it is?

 

Any questions, comments, or do’s and don’ts from your own past that you’d like to see in my next book can be sent to me through my website:

http://poeticallycorrect.webs.com/  I hope to hear from you.

 

In the meantime make a happy memory every day.

 

 

       Web Site: Please visit Poetically Correct

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Reviewed by Morgan McFinn 12/7/2011

Donna,

Agree with you on so many of these but here are a few really good ones:
Ladies first, ALWAYS.

Laugh every day.

Don't forget to say please and thank you EVER.

Cheers, sweetheart!
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 9/27/2011
Gotta love these do's and don'ts ... that talking through the bathroom door is definitely a don't (twice) :) so many good ones here! Thanks for the smiles, Donna. ~Elizabeth
Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 9/26/2011
some good suggestions here, Donna. Especially about the calories.
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 7/9/2011
I like #9, and might I suggest another:

#51. Basaeball caps should ALWAYS be worn with the visor in front.

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by J Howard 7/6/2011
13 leads to 15 which ultimately allows for 24 which probably makes 44 a no brainer, so if all that were true...then for sure, big time 45 is always going to be right on mark. How fun! enjoyed.
thanks for sharing-but which one is your biggest pet peeve?
jch
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/2/2011
Giggle...."Don't talk to someone when they're in the bathroom"...lots of great ones here, Donna! Enjoyed!

Anna
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/1/2011
This one made me smile; thanks for sharing!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :D


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