Mamm died a year and almost five months ago in a buggy accident.  A big motorcycle struck the buggy we were in while Mamm was delivering some home made bread to our church.  Mamm died shortly after being struck; she died before the doctor could even get to her.  We saw it happen; quite a few of us kids still have bad dreams about it just about every night.

Mamm was only 45 years old.  She was too young when she died.  We know we can't control what happens in our lives, but if we didn't believe in God or in His son, Jesus, I don't know how we could have ever managed.  Some days are still hard, but we have our duties to perform, which makes us forget of the sadness that still lingers on in our hearts.

Maybe that is a good thing, but it hurts me to see Dat, Grossmutter, and Grossdawdy being so sad all the time.  The same goes for our brothers Leo, Ezekial, Johnathon, Herschel, and Efriam, Jr. and our sisters Rachel, Emma Louise, and Annabelle looking like they've lost their best friend.  They were all extremely close to Mamm (as was I).  It seems like such a burden to try to go on with our lives while Mamm is enjoying the benefits of Heaven, where I am sure she is a lot happier.

Soon school will start.  That will also keep us busy and not focusing so much on the void that Mamm left us when she died.  It seems like we see, hear, or smell her everywhere: just about everywhere we look or anyone we see or whatever we hear reminds us of Mamm.  

The holidays were the worst.  I don't know how we ever got through them.  I am glad the holidays are overwith, but then you have them coming up again in several months.  In two months is November; three months it's Christmas.  Another holiday season without Mamm. 

How can we ever stand it??  Trust in the Lord in all things, as it says in the Bible, but still ... I miss her so bad it isn't a bit funny!

Well, I have to go.  Have to help Grossdawdy and Dat with the plowing; we are starting to harvest some of our crops for the upcoming winter season.  I will write in here again soon; until later, take care and may the Good Lord Jesus Christ bless you abundantly!

~Eli.  

~To be continued.~